


Into The Dark

by SaveThePorgs



Category: Last Jedi, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Don't mess with Rey, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Has No Chill, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, My alternate TLJ fic, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Quite Dark, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, Strong Rey (Star Wars), This is getting a rewrite at some point., anti-fluff, true to character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 03:00:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13848672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaveThePorgs/pseuds/SaveThePorgs
Summary: “I’m sick of playing your games.” Rey snarled.“Will hurting me, killing me, help to improve your emotional state?” Kylo asked her. “Because if so, go ahead.” He held his arms out in front of him, in surrender. He fixed his eyes on hers. A challenge. He was tired. Too tired to argue. But there was something irresistible about her, that drew him like a moth to a naked flame.“Go on.” He said. "Do it."Rey looked at him and took a step forward. The saber shook in her hands. She began to swing the weapon towards him and the breath left his lungs. She really meant to kill him.***Supreme Leader Snoke has ordered Kylo Ren to capture Rey and bring her to him. Conflicted, Ren fears that Snoke may replace him and is also unnerved by Rey's growing power and her ability to spark new and dangerous emotions within him. Meanwhile, Rey questions the darkness within her and tries to figure out what destiny the force has set out for her. Slow Burn.Disclaimer:So this has been getting a lil' rewrite and therefore some chapters have been deleted and so like 50% of the comments have disappeared. If you commented i'm sorry. Me + technology = disaster





	1. An Offer

**Author's Note:**

> Despite this fic being complete, if you like my writing please still leave kudos and comment. Your feedback means a lot to me. <3
> 
> Besides Star Wars, poetry is my other passion, you can find my writing [here](https://alliedreamsofthesea.tumblr.com/tagged/my-writing).

"You have to stop following me." Rey said.

 

"You have to stop defying the First Order then." He replied in that low mechanical voice.

 

Rey stared at her pursuer. At the dark mask that concealed his features. She wondered often why he wore that mask. It wasn't common for dark side Force users to hide their faces. Their identities yes, but not faces. Darth Vader had worn a mask; but rumour had it it was to keep him alive after a lightsaber battle gone wrong had left him horrifically deformed.

 

Kylo Ren was not deformed though. On the contrary, he was young like her. Some may even call him handsome. No, he wore it to hide. Conceal hidden insecurities. Live up to his grandfather's legacy.

 

Rey cursed silently. Ren should not be consuming her thoughts. True, he was her enemy. True, he had killed Han Solo; a man who in their short time together she had grown to trust and admire. But she had never intended to join the Resistance. The presence of the First Order had occupied little of her interest in her old life of a scavenger.

 

“Leave me alone.” She said, forcing herself to be bold.

 

But her pursuer simply watched her. Any hint, any betrayal of emotion, hidden by his helmet.

 

_Why did she matter so much to him?_

 

It had all been an accident. A coincidence. A coincidence that she had found BB8. A coincidence that she and Finn, running from the First Order had ended up on the Millennium Falcon. And then the Force, a spark, igniting from deep down within her. She had never expected it. To end up training with Luke Skywalker, suddenly an important member of the Resistance after her antics on Star-Killer base. She had just wanted to survive. And now she was being pursued relentlessly by Kylo Ren.

 

She wanted to tell him that it was all a mistake. But she remembered Luke's words.

 

There are no such things as coincidences. He had told her. _Only the will of the force._

 

She drew her lightsaber, prepared to fight.

 

"It is revenge you want then?" Revenge for the scars she had given him, one of which she knew, behind that mask, marred his face. She waited for him to draw his saber.

 

"Not today." He said quietly.

 

"Then what?"

 

"I'm here with an offer. Come and train with me."

 

 _Was this man insane?_ "Why do you think I would want to train with a monster." She spat. "I rejected you once before."

 

"The Force is balance," he said calmly. "It incorporates both light and dark. Neither side can exist without the other part of a whole." 

 

Rey stayed silent for a while, watching him. He stayed stoic and motionless under his scrutiny. Finally she spoke. "What do you know of the Force?"

 

"More than you." Rey knew that he was speaking the truth. "And I sense the dark side in you, it manifests in the resentment you feel for your abandonment at the hand of your parents, your isolation. Even though you have left Jakku that hasn't changed has it?" He taunted. "Only an old man for company. It must be maddening, the loneliness." 

 

Deep down she knew some of what he said was true. She used her training to calm herself. "Better lonely than cavorting with a murderer."

 

"Fair enough." Ren said. "I understand your hate for me. You should channel it. It will make you stronger."

 

He reached to remove his helmet and sighed. With a mechanical click it released to reveal his youthful face and dark hair.

 

"I shouldn't lie to you." He said softly, almost to himself. "Not even avoid the truth. My master is angry. With me mostly. I failed to foil the rebel plan. I failed to locate Luke Skywalker for him. And he is growing impatient. He has sensed you. A disturbance in the force. He senses your strength. He covets it. He has ordered me to capture you and bring you to him, probably with the intention of you replacing me as his apprentice. But I don't want to force you. It puts me in a difficult position."

 

Rens hesitance confused Rey. "You don't want to force me?" She said incredulous. "What about that time you captured me, interrogated me, forced yourself inside my head?"

 

"That was different." Ren said.

 

"How?"

 

"I didn't know that you were strong with the Force then. I saw you simply as an annoyance, someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn't see you as an equal. Like I now do."

 

"An equal or a threat?"

 

"Both."

 

Rey's eyebrows furrowed. She couldn't imagine herself being a threat to anyone. But she squared her shoulders and stared into his dark emotive eyes, her mouth a hard line.

 

"What makes you think you could even capture me?" She said, challenging him. "The way I remember it the last time you tried to fight me it didn't go so well."

 

"I've been training." Ren replied eyes burning into hers.

 

Rey stared back defiantly "So have I."

 

"When we duel again, I guess we will see."

 

Rey tore her eyes from his. She knew they would fight again. It was written in the Force, less prophecy than inevitably. Though it would not be on his terms. She retracted her saber still clutching the handle hard and turned to leave.

 

"Till next time then Ren. And if I sense you following me I will not hesitate to incapacitate you.” Rey said, twirling the lightsaber handle with her quick reflexes, before hooking it to her belt.

 

"Think about my offer." Ren called after her. "I sense the dark in you. And I sense that Skywalker would not teach you what you came looking for.”

 

 _Perhaps._ Rey thought to herself. But neither would he.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo sat in the Cantina, gripping a cup of something strong and oddly flavoured that burnt the back of his throat when he swallowed it.

 

The Cantina was the sort of place where every species in the galaxy gathered, drinking and gambling, all seemingly up to no good. Here, on the Outer Rim planets, gangsters ruled, and people did how they pleased; neither regulated by the First Order or the destroyed New Republic.

 

Places like this reminded him of his father. Han Solo. He could imagine him here, drinking, gambling, womanising. His life had been one big adventure, full of smuggling, crime and impertinence, his name whispered in conversations across the whole galaxy. Kylo had had no such adventures. Jedi began their training young, barely after they started walking. His life had been one of strict discipline. Of meditation and the repetition of endless light saber forms. The suppression of desire.

 

Of course, he had been the best. The most talented of all Luke's students. The Force was strong with him. But always too fast to anger. Skywalker had never stopped berating him.  
  
Now he was free, though only in some ways. Supreme leader Snoke had given him what he desired, a ship, the freedom to act on his emotions, the responsibility of commanding a unit of stormtroopers. But in exchange he was required to enact the will of the dark side of the Force. Sometimes it felt wrong. The light taunted him. The girl.

 

He had meant to capture her. It was his master's will. He should have, earlier that day. He could take what he wanted. He had once told her that. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Her strength unnerved him.

 

It had taken him over a year to find her. Listening for whispers. Wherever Luke was, he had hidden himself well. Somewhere unpopulated, where even the First Orders network of spies couldn't find him. He had only found the girl when she had seemingly left Skywalker. Camping out in a speeder on some trade outpost on the Outer Rim. There, she had finally been spotted. She had sensed his presence however, and ran. Since then he had been tracking her from one backwater planet to the next. Then today, finally, sick of the game of cat and mouse she has confronted him. They had finally spoken. She had been angry.

 

The past year, though he could not pinpoint her location, he could feel her somehow. Rey. The Force curved around her. She was like a hotspot in an otherwise calm sea. A sparkler in the dark.

 

Sometimes, he could feel her emotions, when he concentrated enough. Focusing until the whole world fell away and nothing remained apart from the Force. The Force within her felt balanced, steady, but occasionally he would feel a bolt of fury, anger flaring up from inside her. She too, was touched by the dark.

 

That was when he realised he didn't need to fight her. Simply offer to show her the ways of the other side of the Force. He needn't hurt her. And he could avoid a fight that he was unsure he could win. If there was enough dark within her, the suggestion would linger there and grow, metastasizing like a tumour until she was compelled to seek him out. Like he had, when the Supreme Leader had first found him. He would bide his time. Wait and observe Rey's next move, like a game of chess. Hopefully it would not take too long for her doubts to grow. His master was not known for his patience.

 

He already longed to see her again. She was an anomaly, so powerful, frighteningly strong with the Force for someone untrained. He was jealous, jealous of her power and of his master’s obvious interest in her. But beneath that jealousy was awe. She was undoubtedly someone special.

 

Focusing on the Force he could already sense that she was far away. Running again perhaps. Or simply affronted by his presence. He _had_ spent the day tailing her, watching her participate in mundane tasks, hoping to somehow understand her.

 

He returned to his command shuttle. “Transmission to Supreme Leader Snoke.” He said, speaking into the module. “I've made contact with the target. Will continue to monitor her movements. End transmission." He braced himself against the cockpit, knuckles white, tensed, wondering if telling Snoke had been the right thing to do. Still, it was not as if he had any choice in the matter. Snoke already knew his thoughts. There was no option apart from obeying him.

 

After sending the hologram Kylo sat and ate some tasteless protein mash that was commonly fed to storm troopers. He then showered uncomfortably, his height making it difficult to fit in the small cubicle aboard his craft. Once clean, he found himself staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, face partially obscured by steam. The scar. It reminded him of her everyday.

 

He shouldn’t care. Dark side Force users weren’t renowned for their looks. But he had always felt inadequate. He was tall, but too skinny. And he looked too young for his age. Too young to be in the position of command, that he was. And his face reminded him too much of his father’s. And now the disfigurement. Another sign of failure.

 

He lay down on his bed and meditated, letting all his hate grow inside him, until it was excruciating and blinding. Then he let out a scream, channeling that anger through the Force, directing it all at her. His hand slipped beneath the covers, and he pictured her, the cause of all his hate and confusion, focusing on her strength, the intensity in her eyes. His passion, his emotion, they would make him stronger. When he came, it was violent, like glass, almost painful.

 

He would not lose her. He had attached a tracker to her speeder.

 

_He would not lose her._


	2. Fugitive

Rey woke with a start.

 

She had thought she had heard her voice, reflected in the Force. But it must have been a dream.

 

Since Ren had found her, she had made the conscious decision to get as far away from him as possible. Her neck hurt from sleeping in the cockpit of her speeder; set on autopilot to fly randomly through the vacuum of space until she found a planet too poor and unimportant to have a First Order presence.

 

Maybe that is why her parents had left her on Jakku, a planet that was nowhere. For her own safety. Well, at least that is what she told herself. Why else would they have condemned her to such a life?

 

She looked at the time on the dash. Too early for her to be awake, although time ceased to exist in the vacuum of space. She still set all her machinery to Jakku time, she realised. A pang of nostalgia for a place she both hated; and in a strange way, loved. Rey's head was heavy, and still clouded with tiredness, so she wrapped her blanket around herself and drifted back to sleep for a few more hours.

 

Finally, a day and a half later; the navigation system signalled a habitable moon. Population of only a few thousand. Plenty of clean water and shelter. A perfect place to hide.

 

She decelerated her speeder, preparing for entry into the atmosphere. The spacecraft had been behaving strangely, and flying less smoothly than usual. Perhaps one of the parts was wearing out. A faulty calcinator. She would have to investigate when she landed.

 

A couple of hours later she had made camp under the bough of a collapsed tree. She ran her fingers along its bark. Trees were still a novelty to Rey, along and rivers and oceans; any water that flowed naturally - to be more specific. And the rain, cool droplets falling from her sky to bathe her skin, that was her favourite. She could not get enough of the rain after a life of heat and plains of arid dust that ran for miles in every direction.

 

Listening to the sound of the nearby river. Rey sat and meditated, letting the Force flow through her.

 

“Why I am running away?” She thought silently to herself.

 

Luke would know what to do. But she hadn't talked to him since, _since_ she had left.

 

He hadn't wanted to train her. He had told her that he was done trying to train new Jedi. The failure with Ren had been too much for him to cope with. There would be no more Jedi. He would be the last.

 

Then what am I? She had asked him.

 

_Something new._

 

She was strong with the Force. Luke had recognised that. She wouldn’t have been able to find him, without considerable Force sensitivity. R2 would have not been awoken by anything less. But yet he was reluctant to go down the old path.

 

 _The Jedi and Sith had been battling for years. The Force never in balance. History keeps repeating itself._ The old Jedi had said, sadness in his voice.

 

“The Jedi, battled the Sith? I thought Jedi didn't believe in war.” Rey said in surprise.

 

Luke bowed his head. _The code does not. But then human desire makes it very difficult to adhere to such strict rules._

 

“They sent me here to learn.” Rey said, her voice rising in volume.  “The Resistance have risked so much to find you.”

 

Luke just stared at her. _Do I look like I wanted to be found?”_

 

There was a sadness inside him, she realised. He had witnessed terrible things. But she would not be defeated so easily. Since she had become aware of the Force she could feel it, constantly like a phantom electricity on her skin. She yearned to control it, learn its secrets.

 

“Since I was young there has always been something inside of me.” Rey said, voice flat. “I was afraid. But I can't ignore it anymore.” She paused. “I won't fail you. Like Kylo Ren did. I promise.”

 

After long hours of meditation, he came to a decision. He would show her the basics, help her to understand the will of the Force. And basic saber training for her own protection. She was an enemy of the First Order now.

 

_I'll teach you what I know of the Force but that is the end of it. The Resistance likely has plans for you. They likely see you as a weapon; key to defeating the First Order, to stopping Ren. But I'm not here to teach you how to fight. And if they think one person can defeat the First Order because they can do a few tricks with a laser sword, then they are all fools. I cannot choose your path. That you must do yourself._

 

For a year she had trained. Becoming talented with a saber and knowledgeable about the Force. Luke did not want her to choose violence, she realised. The First Order was a threat, but it was up to her to choose her own fight. She did not know if she was ready. To return to the Resistance; though she missed Finn so much it hurt.

 

So when she felt she had learned all she could, instead of flying back to the Resistance base, she instead travelled to the Outer Rim, carving a meagre existence using her mechanical knowledge, leaving the occasional vague message about how her training was progressing.

 

She had become invisible once again, while she planned her next move. But then Ren had found her and destroyed her simple world, and she realised that she did not have her own choices to make. That she was already too wrapped up in the Resistance. She would forever be hunted.

 

She had sensed him that day, felt him following her around, careful to stay far enough behind, so that she would not see him. She had felt his presence before, on other planets, other trade outposts. Afraid, she had ran. Always moving. But she was tired of running. So this time, she had confronted him.

 

He had confirmed her fears. That she had a target on her back. But he was strangely reluctant to attack her. Instead, trying to persuade her to come to him of her own volition. Maybe to soothe his conscience. For when he had attacked her in the forest. She hadn't wanted to fight. But in the end it was her who struck the final blow. What would she have done if the land between them had not collapsed?

 

She wasn't sure. But there was darkness inside her. That he had been right about.

 

Although she had acted out of self defense, when she had given him that scar, some small part of her had enjoyed it. The rush of the duel, and the physicality of her anger. She was not meant to channel the Force using anger, but in her shock at Han Solo’s murder, all that rage had flared within her. Deadly and uncontrollable.

 

But she did not want to follow the dark.

 

She had to talk to Luke. He would know what to do. Even though she had run, even though she had not acted as a Jedi should. He would know what to do.

 

Rey returned to her speeder to send a transmission.

 

_We need to talk. About Kylo Ren._

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo’s command shuttle hung in orbit around the moon Rey had landed upon.

 

He wanted to come closer, confront her. See her. The sight and sound and smell of her. But knew if he did not want to lose her, he would have to bide his time. As soon as he made his presence known, she would realise that he’d been tracking her. If she ran ...It would ruin everything.

 

Suddenly, Kylo felt a pull, a pressure in his head, like an itch he needed to scratch. It was Snoke.

 

It was telling him to go, go report to him.

 

He stumbled, head bursting, from being too full, until he reached the console, accepted the transmission.

 

“Where is the girl?”

 

A wave of nausea gripped Kylo.

 

“On a moon in the Ryku system.” He replied. It was the truth. Snoke would know if he was being lied to.

 

“Why haven't you captured her?” Snoke demanded.

 

Kylo fought for a suitable answer. He couldn't come up with anything, only...

 

“She is strong.”

 

“But untrained, unlike you.”

 

Kylo shook his head. “She has been training with Skywalker. But there may be another way to get to her. I told her of the power of the dark side. There is darkness inside of her. She will be tempted.”

 

Snoke began to laugh. A laugh full of madness and hatred directed at Kylo.

 

“She will not come willingly. Only a fool would believe so. I thought you would be cleverer than this. You cannot manipulate her.”

 

Kylo tensed. “You don’t know her as I do. She is young and ... _afraid_.”

 

His voice cracked on ’afraid’ and Kylo knew he had betrayed a part of himself to the Supreme Leader. Feelings he did not want to admit to himself, let alone Snoke.

 

“You care about her. This scavenger scum.” Snoke said, voice full of a cold kind of amusement.

 

“How long have you had feelings for this girl?”

 

Kylo felt the heat rise in his cheeks. “Not feelings.” He murmured. “Simply admiration. She bested me, and I admire her power.”

 

Snoke chuckled. “Don’t lie to me Ren. This is about more than just her power. I see her image in your mind. She clouds your view of the dark side and you let it happen, because you are drawn to her. I sense lust and obsession.”

 

Kylo looked at his feet, his face a torrent of traitorous emotion beneath his mask.

 

Snoke laughed. “Whatever _fantasies_ you have about this girl are none of my concern. Do want you want with her, as long as you deliver her to me. Alive. Anyway your feelings may be of use. If I cannot deny the truth of them, neither will she. She may just find herself being drawn to you too.” Snoke said in an ominous fashion. Kylo felt confused.

 

“Master?”

 

Snoke was unwilling to provide further explanation. “Deliver the girl to me as soon as you have her. I imagine it will not be long now.”

 

He bowed. Nodded. For he knew he was no match for Snoke. The Supreme Leader knew all of his secrets, even the dark thoughts he tried to hide from himself.

 

Snoke’s disembodied voice was full of ice. A warning _._

 

_Don’t disappoint me again._

 

The console went blank, Snoke's hologram, disappearing.

 

Kylo dared to breathe.

 

His connection to Snoke, had been tentative, if anything lately. He had already disappointed him, first being beaten by Rey and then failing to capture her. He was not Vader, in a fit a cold fury Snoke had told him this.

 

The comment had stung, like a knife in his soul.

 

And now the Supreme Leader coveted Rey’s power. He had to win back his master's trust. He was afraid.

 

He put his head into his hands clawing at his hair.

 

He remembered being a small boy, before the Jedi, when he would play in the fields behind his home. He had a toy speeder, designed to look like an X-wing but really it only flew a few meters above the ground. He would fly around in it trying to catch butterflies. The butterflies stayed in those fields all summer, sitting on blades of grass, fanning out their wings in the sun. They glowed an iridescent blue. His mother marveled at their beauty. He could never catch one, however. As soon as his toy speeder came anywhere close, they would depart, impossibly fast, to somewhere out of his reach. He would waste whole afternoons chasing those butterflies. A toddlers exercise in fruitlessness.

 

Rey was like one of those butterflies, beautiful and elusive, taunting him with her presence.

 

It had taken him to the end of the summer to realise his mistake. He hadn't needed his speeder to catch the butterflies. He hadn't needed speed at all. Instead he needed to be stealthy. To sneak up on a butterfly, then grab it, unaware.

 

With his Jedi reflexes it had been easy.

 

Once it was in his hand, he had looked at the bug with awe. So beautiful, so intricate. Then he had made a fist, crushing the insect.

 

_He had wanted to destroy something beautiful._

 

Rey was his butterfly, and he had her in his reaches. So why was it, that he couldn't destroy her?

 

Kylo screamed and hit the wall of his command shuttle again and again tears streaming from his eyes. She had already destroyed him.

 

_His life was spinning out of control._

 


	3. Master and Apprentice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Supreme Leader Snoke interrogates Kylo about his feelings for a certain scavenger...

 “What do you mean he's _bothering_ you?” Luke asked.

 

Rey sighed. “Well I’m pretty sure he's been following me. I can sense that he is nearby right now.”

 

“Has he tried to attack you?”

 

“No. He just kept talking about joining the dark side. Inviting me to train with him.”

 

Luke narrowed his eyebrows.        

 

“Snoke must have some interest in you then. Perhaps that is why Ren has not attacked you. Snoke must want you unharmed.”

 

“Yes! Ren said that Snoke was interested in me. He said that he had disappointed Snoke.That I may be his ... _replacement_.”

 

Luke’s eyes widened “You must not be tempted by the dark side. And you must not trust Ren.”

 

“I don't trust him. And I don't want him tailing me.”

 

“Well then, there is an easy solution.” Luke said. “Rejoin the rebellion. You’ll be safe there.”

 

“And lead Ren back there! That's exactly what's he wants. The perfect trap.” Rey sighed. “What do you care of the rebellion anyway? Rey said accusingly. “You said that you weren't ready to be part of this.”

 

“Neither it seems are you.” Luke raised an eyebrow.

 

“No. And especially not, if it means I get to keep my friends safe from ...him.”

 

“It’s seems you are in a difficult position then.” Luke said. “I know Ren. He won't stop until has what he wants. You must be on your guard.”

 

Rey gritted her teeth. “I can take him in a fight. I did once before.”

 

Luke sighed. “In a fight yes, but what if he seeks not to fight you, but to trick you. I underestimated Ren once before. Years ago.

 

I sensed the dark in him. But it was only when I searched his mind while asleep that I truly saw the extent of it. Snoke had already seduced him. He had already embraced the dark side. I planned to go to him, confront him, but it was already too late. He destroyed everything I tried to create, a new generation of Jedi. The future. He burnt it all down. The Jedi temple. His fellow students. Everything became dust and ashes. And then he left without a trace, ran back to his new master.”

 

Rey took a quavering breath. She imagined Ren in all his fury, his destructiveness, his betrayal. She realised she was scared.

 

“I guess I have to face him.”

 

Luke was silent for a moment. “No. This is my fault. I ...betrayed Rens trust. When I discovered he had been cavorting with Snoke. I failed to deal with it well…”

 

Rey looked at the hologram of Luke confused. _Didn't deal with it well?_

 

Luke continued. “If he continues to pursue you. Come to Ahch To. It’s me he really wants. I’ve been hiding in the shadows. It's time for me to make things right.”

 

Rey nodded, but she knew in her soul that she would never lead Ren to Luke. “One more thing.” She asked. “Sometimes I feel the darkness inside me. It scares me. I don't want to become like him. Like Ren.”

 

Luke smiled. “There's darkness in all of us Rey. The Jedi tried to deny this for millennia. But perhaps dark is needed to balance the light. You cannot deny the darkness in you, just as you cannot ignore the light. As long as you don’t let it rule you, you will be fine. You need to find a balance. Then you will have truly mastered the Force.”

 

“Thank you.” Rey smiled. She ended the transmission. She knew ultimately it was up to her. She could face Kylo herself or lead him to the Rebellion, to Ahch To and Luke. Hadn't that been the First Orders objective all along? To kill the last Jedi? If anything happened to Luke, could Rey live with herself?

 

Evening was drawing in so Rey sat down and ate her meal. Forcing herself to chew and swallow, while she out defiantly onto the little forest moon. Gravy dripped down her chin. She had never been an elegant eater. Afterwards she did some repairs on her ship, checking everything was functional, the calcinator, the hyperdrive. She was good at this, going through the motions. Occupying herself.

 

Each day on Jakku had been the same. Sometimes she missed it. The sameness. The smallness of it. Now she had decisions, to make and maybe even a destiny. Wasn't it that the Force worked in mysterious ways. What would have happened if that BB8 unit had never crossed her path?

 

Rey made a fire, and got ready to sleep, curling towards the warmth. Then suddenly she saw him in front of her, clear as day. Kylo Ren. She grasped for her blaster and fired it, only succeeding to fell a tree. The scent of smoke filled her nostrils. Yet there he was in front of her, plain as day. He too, appeared confused.

 

“Rey?”

 

She let out a strangled noise.

 

As Ren's shock seemingly faded it was replaced by an analytical look on his face. “Can you see my surroundings, because I only see you?”

 

Rey just stared.

 

Finally snapping out of her stupor, she got up and ran a perimeter around her camp. No spacecraft. He was there, in front of her but somehow only an illusion. A strange electricity had filled her veins.

 

“What is this?” She snapped. Indignant.

 

“I… I think we're connected somehow.” Ren said.

 

_Oh great._

 

“Isn’t it not enough to be following me, now you have to be in my head?”

 

Ren looked affronted. “Well this isn't how I imagined spending my evening either.”

 

Rey cursed. She felt panic, her heart beating too fast in her chest. She took a labored breath. “Leave me in peace.”

 

He looked at her coldly a look of pure derision. “Do you actually think I would do this on purpose?”

 

 _Maybe_. Rey didn't know what to expect from such a creature. “Honestly, I don't know what level you would stoop to.” She said, mirroring his disgust with her own.

 

Ren swore, a darkness filling his already haunted eyes. A redness began to spread across his face. She could feel his rage.

 

She closed her eyes, and concentrated on the Force, wanting to be rid of him. Pushing until she had thrown him out of her mind. The electricity faded, she thought she heard an echo of laughter. A cold flat sound. Then silence. When she opened her eyes, he was gone.

 

Ren had somehow visited her in her mind, through the Force. And despite her goading it seemed unintentional on his part. Something was pulling them together.

 

_What had just happened?_

 

* * *

 

 

 _A Force bond._ Kylo whispered into the dark.

 

And with the scavenger girl. _How could this be_?

 

He had been shocked to see her suddenly in front of him. Lying there, her tired face, her body, curled in a ball, eyes clouded with sleep.

 

Then, as soon as she had seen his face. She’s tried to put a hole in him with her blaster.

 

Angry. Defiant.

 

He hadn't known whether to be offended or impressed.

 

She’d been confused of course, seeing him.He’d been shocked and confused too, until he realised what it was that was happening. Though he didn't expect the girl to know what any of this meant, or to have knowledge of the ancient Jedi texts. Especially not those of the Sith.

 

It was rare what they had, a connection through the Force. Incredibly rare. Nothing similar had been witnessed for generations.

 

His mother had sometimes talked of a bond she shared with her brother Luke. His Uncle. His enemy. Apparently she had heard him calling for her through the Force, a long time ago. He was injured, about to fall to his death. She had saved his life.

 

They were brother and sister though, they had shared the same blood, the same womb. Twins. They were not strangers. Not like Rey and him. Their bond, was unusual. The stuff of legend.

 

He thought about his mother. She was strong with the Force but untrained. A waste of talent. He has never understand why, why she was content living, without having studied the Force. Surely she could feel it. Perhaps it scared her. Like it had once scared Rey.

 

It had been three days, since their vision of each other and Rey had done very little. Tracking the girl was a dull pursuit. She was still on the same moon, though she had moved camp twice. An evasive measure, no doubt. Despite the distance he could sense her thoughts. She was waiting. Perhaps for him. She sensed his presence he realised. He had underestimated her sensitivity to the Force.

 

Or perhaps she was waiting for someone else, a rebel friend. Backup. If so he would blast them out of the sky. Especially that rebel turned stormtrooper. FN-2187. Finn. He loathed that name. And the knowledge that the First Orders troops had thoughts of their own, unnerved him. So much potential for non-compliance. Perhaps it was because he was untrustworthy himself, but every worker in the First Order, could potentially be a spy. He had to stay vigilant. Betrayal could come at any moment.

 

While he waited for Rey to do something interesting, he exercised. His command shuttle was in a low orbit, so he witnessed a sunrise and sunset every hour or so. The galaxy, a physical manifestation of the Force, still sometimes surprised him with its beauty. Of course there was a lot of uglyness too, almost inhospitable planets run by gangsters, resources used indiscriminately by the rebellion. But the First Order would fix that.

 

He watched the sun rise and set and then rise again as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, counted his breaths, and repeated the action. The exercise gave him clarity. To master the Force, Kylo knew you had to have discipline, both emotionally and physically.

 

In a semi-masochistic way he enjoyed the pain of it, feeling his muscles burn as he pulled his body up, towards the ceiling and down again. Sweat fell in rivulets into his eyes. He exercised every muscle, until he felt shaky. Only then did he stop.

 

He was wiping the sweat from his eyes when she appeared before him again.

 

He saw her, hunched over what appeared to be a fire. He could only see her, not her surroundings, as if she were upon his command shuttle, but he reckoned she had been cooking. As she surveyed him with mild distaste, he suddenly felt incredibly self conscious. Did he look sweaty, red?

 

“I’d rather not do this right now.” Rey said. She looked tired.

 

“Neither would I.” He replied.

 

Her eyes flickered downwards at his chest. “Don't you have something you could put on. A cowl perhaps?”

 

He had forgotten he wasn't wearing a shirt. He met her eyes. Slightly offended, in that there was nothing wrong with his torso. Did she truly not enjoy the view? He made no effort to move, only stood motionless surveying her.

 

She sighed in annoyance. But beneath it he sensed her fear, her fear of interacting with him in such a personal way. Fear at the intrusion.

 

“Why did you hate your father?” She said, heat rising in her cheeks.

 

A series of emotions, occupied her thoughts. Sorrow. Anger.

 

There were many answers to that question but he told her the truth.

 

“I didn't hate him. He was just in the way.” Of all that transpired between them, he did not hate his father. He resented him, perhaps, but he had not killed him out of hatred. Only to crush the conflict that plagued his mind and heart. To extinguish the light in his soul.

 

Rey looked disgusted. Let her think he was a monster, he thought to himself. He was, in many ways.

 

Her cheeks flushed pink, in indignation.

 

“Is that what you go around doing? Betraying your family. I heard what happened with Luke. How you destroyed all hope of a future for the Jedi.”

 

Anger filled his veins. White and hot. She had no right to talk about what had happened. About _him_. “Luke. Betrayed. Me.”

 

Rey looked uncertain, but the intensity of his anger, how he spat out his words, had seemingly silenced her.

 

“Do you wanted to know the truth of it. Of your precious master? Do you?” He said bitterly. Tears of hatred clouding his vision. “Don't talk of what you don't know Rey. I you want to know the truth of it, what truly happened. I can show you. Open your mind.”

 

Rey’s forehead creased, but she obliged, opening herself up to him.

 

For moments they stood like that. His memories filling her head. A strange kind of intimacy. A look of horror slowly dawning on her face. Shock. She gasped. As she saw what had happened. Why he had snapped.

 

“I was his student, and he tried to murder me in my sleep. Tell me that is how a Jedi should act.”

 

Rey’s eyes widened. “How do I know you are not lying.”

 

“I’ve never lied to you Rey. The Force is strong with you. You would know if I was lying. All you need to do is look inside yourself and you will find the truth.” He told her.

 

Sorrow filled her eyes. She knew it was the truth. He felt bad for a moment, for he knew he had destroyed her trust in someone she had cared for and respected.

 

“Have you ever lost faith in someone?” He asked her.

 

She hesitated for a moment, then looked up at him. “Yes. My parents.” She whispered. “I waited for them day after day on Jakku to come. But they never appeared. I still think about them.” she admitted.

 

He closed his eyes and imagined her, Rey, as a child abandoned in an endless desert. Made to scavenge for scraps. The hunger that must have plagued her. And loneliness All alone in the world. It tore him up inside, the helplessness she must have felt. Her sadness had an effect on him he realised. He cared. Maybe too much.

 

“Luke was like a father to me.” He choked out. A bitter truth. He had been.

 

“Never trust your heroes Rey. They always serve to disappoint you.” He murmured.

 

It was obvious, despite all his hardships, that Rey had had the more difficult life. She had suffered. He met her eyes, strong and resilient, and looked at her as if to tell her, that she was extraordinary to have survived it.  And to still believe in something, have faith something bigger than herself.

 

“I’m sorry about your parents.” He said softly.

 

She nodded, and then seemingly unconsciously reached for his hand.

 

“I don't know why I keep seeing you,” she said. “It's probably some Sith trick on your part, but maybe, just maybe the Force has brought us together, because we can learn from each other.”

 

Kylo reached out, and grasped her hand. It was solid, even though she wasn't really there. Some trick of the Force, or his mind. Her fingers were light and warm.

 

As their fingers twined together, a vision suddenly filled his mind. Vivid and harsh. A vision of Rey, as a child. He saw the truth of her existence. The truth of her parents. They hadn't just left her behind on Jakku. They had sold her. A pair of neglectful junk traders, who’d fallen out of luck and sold their child away to settle a gambling debt. Kylo felt the darkness rise up within him. A feeling of disgust.

 

She knew. She knew all of this, the sad reality of her life, but hid it away deep in her mind, cloaked it in denial. She desperately wanted to be someone and at the same time craved to see her parents again, craved their love, hopeful that their presence would make up for a childhood alone.

 

He looked at her, as if seeing her for the first time, and she stared back at him. Their eyes met. Both full of shock.

 

_What had she seen?_

 

The moment passed and she softly removed her fingers from his grasp. Moments later she disappeared from sight.

 

Kylo forced himself to shower and eat, but he could not erase the image of Rey a dirty child abandoned in the desert, from his mind. It played over and over again, late into the night as he lay awake trying to sleep.

 

Any grand illusions surrounding her parentage had disappeared. She truly was noone. But amazingly strong with the Force. It made her seem more dangerous somehow.

 

He fell asleep repeatedly asking himself the same question. Who was this girl who lied so well she had even managed to convince herself it was the truth.

 

_Who was she?_

 


	4. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first Rey empathizes with Kylo, but very quickly shit hits the proverbial fan...

Rey quaked, mind still reeling from the vision. From what Kylo Ren had shown her.

 

Her view of the world, once straightforward, had been flipped on its head. Black and white, good and evil, were the lines really that solid? At some point in the evening her perspective of things had been irrevocably changed.

 

The world was how it was, because of one man's decision. A decision to murder a boy because he was afraid of the darkness inside him.

 

_Oh Luke._

 

She could still picture it inside her head, Ren sleeping on the single bed, his white undershirt, his face blank, Luke searching his mind and then with a look of horror drawing his lightsaber. Swinging it towards Ren’s heart. Ren at the last minute blocking him, meeting his weapon, with his own lightsaber.

 

Then throwing Luke back, and ripping the walls of the room apart with the Force.

 

Ren was right, anger did make you strong.

 

_Whether that was a good thing though…_

 

Luke had attacked him and Ren had snapped. And he had done the unforgivable. Burnt the Jedi temple, pledging his loyalty to Snoke and the First Order. But what if Luke had never tried to harm him, or at least confronted him whilst awake? Things could have gone very differently.

 

Kylo was not evil. She had felt the light in him when she had touched him. She’d seen the future.

 

_His hand had been cold._

 

She’d seen him turning away from the dark.

 

The question was not whether he was redeemable, but was she the one to redeem him?

 

Perhaps, this was her destiny.

 

Or the vision could be false.

 

But she knew that she was ready to face him. Kylo. After touching him, seeing part of his soul in that split second, she was no longer afraid of him.

 

She was tired of hiding, tired of this moon,with it's cold nights and spiky brambles and mosquitos. She was tired of camping. And itchy. It was time to stop acting like a fugitive. To move on.

 

She'd go to Jakku. There they would talk. On her homeground. She had no doubt he would follow her.

 

She loaded her meagre number of belongings onto her speeder. Saber, blaster, a fire starter, a blanket, her trusty staff. Then she flew, until stars surrounded her, leaving the atmosphere behind. Rey loved being in space, piloting a ship. She felt most free when she was flying.

 

She inputted the coordinates to Jakku and let the hyperdrive warm up. Meanwhile she sent a transmission to Luke. She needed to know the truth. To be sure.

 

“Rey.” Luke's tired face appeared on the console of the speeder. “It's two in the morning.”

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

“Can’t it wait?” The Jedi master said. His eyes creased with tiredness. He looked old, she realised.

 

“No. It can't. Why didn't you tell me about Ren. You tried to murder him in his sleep!”

 

Luke sighed. “Yes I thought about it. For a split second. And then it was too late. I wanted to tell you Rey. I just didn't know how.”

 

“Don't you realise what you did?” Rey said, her voice raising a number of octaves. “Even if there was darkness in him, even if he was communicating with Snoke, he was still training to be a Jedi. He hadn't given up on the light. Until you did, what you did.”

 

Luke shook his head. “I know. I know what I did. What it must feel like to be betrayed by your master. That is why when you came to me I didn't want to train you. I need to atone, for what I did. That why I came to Ahch To. To grow old and die.”

 

Rey felt sadness in her heart but also anger. “I trusted you.” She told him. “And by avoiding the rebellion, you are just making things worse.You need to stand up. Talk to Ren.”

 

Luke was hesitant. Perhaps even afraid. “You don't know what I saw in his mind! Such darkness. That boy is beyond saving. I shouldn't have acted like I did, but try to understand.”

 

“He’s not beyond saving. You’re wrong.”

 

“Rey.” Luke's voice was full of concern.

 

“I had a vision.” She admitted, though she was not ready to talk about the force bond, how she had touched his hand. “I saw Ren turning away from the dark, embracing the light.”

 

“Rey.” Luke said exasperated. “Visions can be deceptive. You can never know the true meaning.”

 

But she had already made her decision. “I have to find him. To see if he can be redeemed.”

 

“Rey. Ren is dangerous.” Luke said, a look of desperation on his face. There is something broken inside him. And I don't think even you can fix it.”

 

“Well, one way or another, I have to find out.”

 

Luke tried to reason with her, his voice pleading. Rey. Please. Don't be stu...”.

 

But Rey had already cancelled the transmission. No one could change her mind now. She had to know.

 

But as soon as the hologram had faded away and she looked up, the view from the cockpit was wrong. Seriously wrong. She had flown into an asteroid field.

 

But, she had checked the area around  the moon, the whole system for asteroids, any rogue debris. This shouldn't be here. She brought up the navigation system. It was blank, no sign of the asteroid field in front of her. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. The navigation system should have warned her, but her sensors must not be working, the maps altered.

 

The data files for her navigation system must be corrupted. What had happened? She kept her speeder in good condition. She was a decent mechanic. Something, somewhere must have gone wrong. She inputted some commands into the console to perform a scan of her craft.

 

All of a sudden a warning alert bleeped, a slow whine, a dissonant sound. A message appeared on the screen in front of her. An alert. There was a tracker on the underside of her speeder. With a virus loaded on to it, she guessed. A virus that specifically targeted the navigation system. To make the target easier to acquire, she supposed.

 

She swore. “Ren.” She whispered to herself.

 

That is how Kylo Ren had been following her. She naïvely thought he been using the Force to locate her, or just tracking her the old fashioned way. The jump to hyperspace though… He shouldn't have been able to find her, not if she was traveling faster than light speed. And she has sensed him nearby.

 

“Idiot.” Rey whispered to herself. How had she been so stupid? All the signs pointed to some sort of sabotage. Her speeder had been slower than usual, rougher to handle. She had thought it was the calcinator playing up. She had been wrong.

 

Rey wanted to turn, to escape the rocks looming in front of her, but it was too much of a risk. She was moving too fast.

 

Rey decelarated, and launched the craft into a tight corkscrew twist to avoid an asteroid. She banked right to stop herself crashing into another. She wasn't slowing down fast enough, she realised. Panic rose in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She couldn't fly like this forever.  And she was traveling fast, too fast, even as her speeder began to slow. The momentum was carrying her forward still. Making it difficult to…

 

Boom. The sound of metal colliding with rock filled her ears and a shockwave rippled along the length of her craft. Without warning Rey felt herself being wrenched upwards, her head slamming into the roof of the cockpit. Black spots danced across her vision. A trickle of blood ran down her temple. But she was alive, thanks to the harness that strapped her body to the seat.

 

An alarm began to ring in the cockpit assaulting her ears. One of her engines had been hit. Rey grabbed the steering pulling up, she was falling too fast, if she hit an asteroid now, it would be the end. She would be crushed. Turned into a pancake. Rey took a few deep breaths. She needed to slow down and land somewhere. She spotted a large asteroid in the distance. Perfect, she thought as she rerouted all the power to her left engine, and engaged the thrusters.

 

She put the steering into reverse, causing her to decelerate dramatically fast. Then switched it back to the forward direction. The thrusters made her speeder more manoeuvrable, but they burnt up the ships energy like crazy. She didn't want to run out of fuel. As soon as she had slowed down enough, she turned them off, flying as smoothly as she could with one engine towards the asteroid. She needed to land quickly.

 

The asteroid was large enough that gravity pulled weakly at her ship. She switched the power off momentarily and let herself fall, then re-engaged the thrusters to slow down. She was not flying straight though, with only one remaining engine. An engine that was overheating critically. Just before she hit the ground it sputtered out, dying. Instead of landing on her speeders retractable feet, her malfunctioning electronics caused the underside of her craft to hit the ground directly. The shock of the landing ripped right through her, shaking her like a ragdoll. The speeder slid across the rocky, cratered surface of the asteroid, sparks flying, before coming to a halt. Finally the cockpit stilled. Rey was violently sick.

 

Rey lifted her feet up, to avoid the vomit on the floor of the cockpit. She breathed in slowly, taking in a breath of rancid air. It stank in here. Her whole body felt bruised, and the muscles in her neck and shoulders burnt from being tossed around. But she was alive, a miracle in itself. Her ship was beyond repair however. The landing had not been clean. She wasn't going anywhere.

 

She attempted to send out a distress signal, to Luke, Finn, Po, anyone in the rebellion that was listening. But her communications had failed. The satellite on her ship ripped clean off. And a red light was blinking on her dash. Life support systems compromised. She checked the status. Oxygen was down to 13% and decreasing. So was the temperature of the cockpit.

 

_She was going to die._

 

As the oxygen decreased her thoughts began to become less and less lucid. Bright visions flooded her mind. Images of her parents. She  wished she could see them again, just one more time. Then the image warped to Luke.

 

 _Use the Force Rey_. He commanded her.

 

But she was cold, so cold, even with the blanket wrapped around her. Perhaps she been gifted with the Force for nothing. Maybe she really was nobody, with no destiny to speak of. No greater purpose. Her thoughts drifted to Ren. Would he care, that he had killed her. Had this been his plan all along?

 

No this couldn't be the end. She breathed but her lungs couldn't seem to get any air.

 

“Use the Force.” She whispered to herself. Wasn't that all she had? All she had ever possessed.

 

 _Ren_. He could save her. He was infuriating, and a murderer and seemingly a stalker but she needed him. She closed her eyes and opened her mind to the Force. Searching. She felt his presence, distant she steady. She pulled, focusing upon it.

 

And then suddenly he was in front of her. Sleeping. She mustered up.all her strength and slapped his face. Waking him. His eyes jerked open.

 

“Help me.” she whispered. If you care at all about me. Then save me.” She gasped for breath, it was difficult to talk. She faded out of consciousness, her mind a foggy haze.

 

In her unconscious state she dreamed of him. _This was his doing. The tracker. Everything. If she survived. He would pay_.

 

Her last memory was a pair of strong arms lifting her from the wreckage of her ship. Then she felt air being pushed into her lungs, her body sinking, singing with pain, too hot and cold at the same time.

 

Then darkness consumed her.

 

* * *

 

 

She looked so pale, her de-oxygenated skin taking on an almost blue hue, as she lay atop his bed. Medical equipment surrounding her.

 

_Rey._

 

Kylo sat watching her head in his hands. He had raced to save her.

 

She was already unconscious when he arrived, her slim lips tinted blue. He had gotten there just in time. What if he had not?

 

It was because of him that she had nearly died was it not. Because of his unwelcome pursuit of her. She had been running. Again. But why into an asteroid field? Maybe she had a death wish. Maybe he had gone too far. He thought that they had connected when they had touched, that they finally understood each other. But perhaps he had been wrong. Maybe she seen something of him in that moment, something so dark and twisted, that it had made her flee. He questioned the paranoia. _Did he even know his own self?_

 

So what if she had died? Didn't his master wish to eliminate all of the Jedi. Wasn't that the will of the dark side. Yet, the thought of anything happening to her left him shaking.

 

He hadn't been particularly good at following the dark side lately.

 

One look at her unconscious body and Kylo knew he had to save her. Carrying her aboard his command shuttle, he realised this was the second time he had held her in his arms this way.  The last time he had simply thought of her as a scavenger from Jakku, a bystander. An easy interrogation. He had been wrong.

 

This time he noticed things about her, like the fact she was surprisingly heavy despite her slenderness, and small, so small, insubstantial, compared to his large frame.

 

He had hurried to save her.

 

Now she lay on his bed, stabilising. Medicines and sedatives delivered through a series of tubes attached to her arms. He knew he should call his master, tell him that he had acquired the target. But instead, he just sat there. Watching her. Unable to to look away. So powerful yet so vulnerable. Her injuries, dark bruises marring her face and her limbs, were terrible, we but beneath them she was attractive. _Yes she was pretty_ , he realised.

 

Though it was difficult to admit, being around her was like a drug. Addicting.

 

Kylo had never really noticed women before. He had seen them from a distance with their gentle eyes and soft bodies. But Jedi are celibate. He had grown up knowing that. Expecting to be alone. Attachment was corrupting.

 

Of course he thought about women. But more as an abstract concept, then as solid beings. Occasionally he would touch himself, thinking of some imaginary woman. But the action was always born out of practicality rather then desire. To meet a bodily need.

 

After he joined the dark side. Kylo could of had all the women he wanted. There were plenty of pretty women in the galaxy. Some of who, sympathisers of the first order, would seek out his company. Yet he was never interested, he could sense their giddy desire, their weak girlish thoughts, their ambition, thinking they had something to gain from associating with him. It repulsed him.  

 

Yet with Rey, it was different. Her power, her intensity, her strength. It was beautiful. She had suffered much hardship as a scavenger, but it had not broken her, darkened her soul. She was unselfish. Light and power.

 

She was strong. When he had interrogated her she had pushed back, as he searched her thoughts and found a way into his own mind. Without any knowledge of the Force. And then escaped before he could deliver her to Snoke. None of his prisoners had eve managed that.

 

_Only her._

 

He needed someone like that he realised.

 

_Someone who pushed back when he pulled._

 

Just then, Rey stirred.

 

She looked around agitated, and tried to get up, but was prevented by the tubes going into her skin, the heated space blanket. She thrashed around wildly until her eyes settled on his.

 

“You…. You saved me.”

 

Kylo nodded.

 

“Don’t give me to him.” She said, eyelids hovering, fighting to stay awake. She looked angry.

 

 _Snoke_. “I won’t.” He reassured her. Though he knew he should. She would make a better student than him.

 

Rey let out a small sigh, he presumed in relief. Then drifted back out of consciousness.

 

Her temperature was almost back to normal, her heart rate still slightly elevated, but there were no bones broken, only a few wrenched muscles and a concussion. She would recover soon.

 

He watched her, listening to her soft breaths, that sounded almost like waves. He imagined the ocean, the ocean he had seen within her mind. It soothed him, and he surrendered to the memory and sound and feel of her. He fell asleep in the chair facing her, his dreams, for once not haunted by the dark.

 


	5. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey drinks some water and things get violent...

_Peaceful._

 

In his sleep, he looked peaceful. This man that Luke thought was beyond saving.

 

Boyish, with those long dark eyelashes and curls. More human and less like the demon he had made himself into.

 

She was lying in his bed, Rey realised, gasping sharply as she pulled a tube out of her arm. Blood trickled in a steady stream, dripping onto the floor. Black spots danced across her vision as she tried to prop herself up, staunching the flow of blood from the wound, feeling a mixture of dizziness and nausea. She was covered in bruises and her head ached. Everywhere ached. She should try to escape, she thought to herself, while Ren was still sleeping. But her speeder was destroyed. And through the window there was only the darkness of space. She was out of options.

 

 _Water_.

 

She needed water. Thirst was consuming her.

 

Rey stood up, carefully, staggering a little, as she tried to find her balance. Whatever medicine Ren had given her, was obviously still in her system making her feel tired and confused. She took a series of deep breaths. Focusing on her centre. The Force around her. An extra sense.

 

Rey knew little of First Order engineering. But she knew about ships. A lifetime of scavenging meant that within minutes she had located the on-board tool kit and opened a metal panel containing the auxiliary water tank. The tank was heavy and the water tasted coppery, metallic, but she was too thirsty to care. There must have been five litres in the tank but within half an hour she had drained it too the last drop.

 

Satisfied, and no longer thirsty, sat back on the bed and thought through her options. She could restrain Ren. Commandeer the ship. She looked around for anything she could use, but saw nothing. The ship was empty, devoid of belongings. And even if she did restrain him, it wouldn't take long for him to use the Force to free himself. She looked at his sleeping form, studying him.

 

Then she saw it. The lightsaber on his belt. She closed her eyes. And focused on the Force. She called to it inside her mind “Come to me” and it shot silently into her hand.

 

 _I could kill him_.

For a second, the thought materialised in her mind. A whisper taunting her. Didn't _he_ almost kill me? But that was not the Jedi way. Instead she just sat there grasping tightly onto the saber, hands bloodless and white. She watched him. Her enemy. Fought to understand it. The darkness within him.

 

While asleep his mind was an open door. Rey didn't even have to push. She let the Force guide her, wandering between his thoughts, just as he had once done to her.

 

_Colour._

 

His thoughts were red, bright, vivid. Full of passion, anger, confusion. Rey searched them. There was loyalty for his master, Snoke, who he felt indebted too. For freeing him. Freeing him from the burden of being a Jedi the discipline, the rigidity. However there was conflict. He was drawn towards the light. Towards good, but he thought it a weakness. He found it difficult to follow Snoke’s orders sometimes. He secretly disobeyed them. Causing him to feel guilt. She was among his thoughts too, taunting him, with her strength and her knowledge of the Force.

 

...But he also respected and admired her. He was struggling to obey Snoke, to capture her. He feared for her. And ….He. He _desired_ her.

 

Rey gasped in shock. But she continued to search.

 

Deep in his mind, she found memories of Han Solo. Ren’s father. His mother Leia, gentle and kind and strong. But Han was mercurial...

 

She saw Ren as a child. Ben. Shaggy hair and tiny hands and short limbs. Already a gifted pilot. Already strong with the Force.

 

_Oh how his mother had praised him._

 

Then suddenly, they sent him away.

 

 _I don't want to be a Jedi_ , he cried. He wanted to stay with them, his parents.

 

But his father picked him up roughly and placed him on the shuttle. It was his duty to become a Jedi he said. He had been gifted with the Force and therefore it was his responsibility. His responsibility to go. Tears rolled down his face and he had screamed and cried. Screamed and screamed and screamed until his throat was raw and there was no air in his lungs. That was the last time he had seen his parents.

 

Until. Until…

 

Caught off guard, she was thrown back by an invisible Force, onto the floor, the air knocked out of her lungs. Rey gasped.

 

“Having fun, were you?” Ren said coldly.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kylo watched as Rey stood up with difficulty. She was fragile after almost dying of asphyxiation and cold, and he’d hurt her.

 

_He needed to control his anger._

 

That is what Luke had always said. _And his father_. He took a deep breath, tried to steady himself.

 

“I don't appreciate you, rooting around in my mind.” He said to her, clearing his throat.

 

Rey stared at him with a look of pure loathing.

 

“Stay away from me.” She hissed. “You really _are_ a monster.”

 

_This wasn’t going well..._

 

“I apologise.” He said to her. “I didn’t mean to throw you back. It was a unconscious reaction. It’s just that this isn’t the first time i’ve woken up to find someone searching through my thoughts.” He thought back to his final encounter with Luke, wincing.

 

Rey looked at him, face devoid of any empathy. “Maybe you deserve it. Or have you forgotten your interrogation of me.” Rey whispered with malice. He could see all of her teeth.

 

“At least I gave you a chance to resist.” Kylo said bitterly.

 

“I don't think you can defend any of your actions at this point.” Rey snapped.

 

He looked at her questioningly.

 

“So _tell me,_ why did you come and save me then. Last minute regret? Wasn't it your plan to kill me.”

 

Kylo shook his head in confusion. “Kill you? Why would I want to kill you.”

 

“Your little tracker.” Rey scoffed. “The one you attached to my ship. It fried my navigation system, caused me to fly straight into an asteroid field. I wouldn't have thought you a coward _Ren_. If you wanted to dispatch me, I thought you’d at least face me in person.”

 

Kylo was confused. By the anger in Rey's eyes, the accusation in her voice. “Yes I attached a tracker to your ship.” He admitted. “I had orders to tail you. But it’s _just_ a tracker. Standard First Order technology. I didn't tamper with your navigation system.”

 

Rey looked at him with derision.

 

“Are you that stupid. It's _First Order_ technology. Why make a device just to find someone when you can make the job easier by destroying the navigation system?” She raised an eyebrow. “The First Order _does_ have quite a reputation for being devious and evil, they did destroy the Hosnian system. It's the sort of device they would build.”

 

“I think I know the First Order better than you do.” Kylo retorted.

 

This only made Rey angrier.

 

“Do you think I flew into an asteroid field on purpose? Rey hissed. “There was a virus downloaded onto that tracker designed to corrupt my navigation system.”

 

Kylo thought about Snoke. His inherent deviousness. _Maybe_ she was speaking the truth. “I didn't know.” He said apologetically. “About what the tracker would do.”

 

“Of course you didn't.” Rey snarled. All remnants of her usual still balanced manner were gone. She was ferocious, eyes wild, a depraved look in her eye.

 

And she was clutching his lightsaber.

 

“My orders were to capture you. Bring you to Snoke alive.”

 

“Well. _Congratulations_ …” She drew the lightsaber, bathing her face in a red light.

 

The unrefined Kyber undulated erratically, casting shadows around both of them.

 

 _“Rey.”_ Kylo said, attempting to placate her. But he could feel her. Her hate, her pain, making the force around her burn bright. Unstable and distorted.

 

“I’m sick of playing your games.” She snarled.

 

“Will hurting me, killing me, help to improve your emotional state?” He asked her. “Because if so go ahead.” He held his arms in front of him, in surrender. He fixed his eyes on hers. A challenge. He was tired. Too tired to argue. But there was something irresistible about her, that drew him like a moth to a naked flame.

 

“Go on.” He said. _Do it_.

 

Rey looked at him and took a step forward. The saber shook in her hands. She began to swing the weapon towards him and the breath left his lungs. She really meant to kill him. And then suddenly she stopped. The saber an inch from his chest.

 

A single tear ran down her cheek.

 

“I won’t stoop to your level.” She said quietly with resignation. She dropped the light saber. And then proceeded to be sick. All over the floor of his prized command shuttle.

 

Kylo turned away, silently repulsed. He forced himself to go to her. Sit her down on the bed. Rub her back as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

 

When he compelled her to sleep using the Force, there was no resistance. She had been seconds away from fainting anyway. He could sense it. He picked her up and lay he down in his bed. To sleep and recover.

 

If the injuries had been his doing. Then he would help her recover to the best of his ability.

 

Their fates were intertwined.  

 

He’d win back her trust. Eventually.

 

_If she didn't kill him first._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I love feedback, so if you enjoy my writing or have some constructive criticism let me know!


	6. Dispute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey uses the bathroom.

Rey woke to find Kylo Ren watching her like a predator watches its prey. His gaze intense.

 

_It disturbed her._

 

“Where is the bathroom?” She asked.

 

She sensed his thoughts before he had time to answer, and got up, walking as briskly as her injured body could take her.

 

_She urgently needed to pee._

 

She quickly sat down to relieve herself. It was glorious. She immeadiately felt a hundred times better.

 

Then she thought back to yesterday. To attacking Ren. Then vomiting all over the floor of his bedroom. She shivered in humiliation. She’d lost all of the dignity she possessed. He brought out the dark in her she realised. He’d thrown her into the wall using the Force when he discovered she had been looking into his mind and she’d gotten angry. He’d almost killed her. And then hurt her again. She’d attacked him. An unarmed opponent. Broke the Jedi code. Was she any better than Luke. _Than Ren himself?_

 

She washed her face and gazed into the small mirror above the wash basin. She looked appalling. Hair matted, a bruise on her cheekbone,  along with a cut on her head and a black eye. She found it hard to focus on her reflection, head spinning. She must have hit her head especially hard, evidenced by the bump beneath her hair.

 

She took a deep breath and left the bathroom. She smelt cooking. Her stomach growled.

 

There was a small kitchen onboard the command shuttle and on the table before her lay coffee, a bowl of canned peaches and pancakes. Kylo sat opposite.

 

“Go on. Eat.” He said to her.

 

She had to remind herself to chew. The pancakes were doughy and buttery, the peaches tantalysingly sweet. Rey hadn't eaten this well since the resistance base. She couldn't help making contented sighs of approval as she ate.

 

Opposite her Ren sat eating some sort of mush.

 

Kylo raised a eyebrow. “Rations _aren't_ unlimited on space ships.”

 

She nodded and then went back to stuffing herself.

 

Across from her Ren spoke. “I’m trying to make amends.” He said softly.

 

“It’ll take more than breakfast.” Rey replied taking a deep breath. “When can I leave?” She asked him. “Or are you keeping me here against my will?”

 

Kylo cleared his throat. “You have a bad concussion. You are dizzy, uncoordinated. You can't fly a ship right now. And if I dropped you at one of those hovels of planets you frequent, you’d be robbed within five minutes.”

 

Rey open her mouth to protest. It was true she was dizzy, but she knew how to survive.

 

"I can look after myself."

 

Kylo sighed. “Just rest for a few days. I promise not to hurt you or deliver you to Snoke. You'll feel better for it.”

 

“Fine.” Rey said. She wasn't well. An she didn't want to provoke a volatile Ren. She could survive a few days with him. Then if he didn't let her go, she would find a way to escape.

 

“You owe me a speeder by the way.” She said.

 

Kylo stared at her.

 

“My ship. It's scrap thanks to _your_ tracker. I want a replacement.’

 

“I’ll see what I can do.” He murmured. He sniffed the air.

 

“Maybe you should take a shower.” He said tactfully, gesturing to a pile of clothes on the counter. Her clothes. He had washed them.

 

“Did you undress me?” Rey said in alarm gesturing to the flimsy medical robe she wore.

 

“No.” Ren said clearing his throat. “You weren't wearing much I found you. You seemed to have undressed yourself. One of the symptoms of hypothermia. Your brain tricks you into thinking you are hot.”

 

“Oh.” Rey felt herself turning red, but held her head high. She snatched the pile of clothes.

 

The shower was blissfully hot. Rey had rarely had the luxury of hot showers. On Jakku there was not enough water. She removed the dust and sand from her body every night with a damp rag. She'd always been meticulous about her appearance. Hair tied up in three knots, a practical style designed for her short hair. Arms bound in wraps to avoid cuts when scavenging through rusty machinery. But this past week she had let her go. She had lost a little weight and there was a hollowness about her facial features. She looked dangerous. Feral.

 

She found a comb and spent the best part of an hour teasing tangles out of her hair. She then tied it up, up as she used to. In three knots. Pulled on her clothes. A little worn from a year of use but better than the ones she’d owned on Jakku. Finally, she looked like her self again. Mostly. When she emerged from the bathroom. She could hear laboured breathing. She found Ren in the small living space. His body was parallel to the floor. His arms, surprisingly muscled, contracted and relaxed as he did push-up after push-up. His body shone with sweat. He wasn't wearing a shirt. And his trousers were strangely high-waisted.

 

Desire was foreign to Rey. She had always had other things to occupy her mind on Jakku. Like the gnawing hunger, and work. Locating wreckage sites. Scavenging. Surviving. But as she watched him she felt a strange tingling in the pit of her stomach. And lower down.

 

He looked up, catching her eyes.

 

Rey opened her mouth, mustering up all the annoyance she could. “Please, can you wear a shirt. At least while I am here.” She asked him, trying to keep the voice level. Uncaring. “Or do you have an allergy to clothes?”

 

“Physical fitness is important to me. It requires discipline. Just as mastering the Force does.” His breathing a little ragged from the exercise. “But if it pleases you I’ll change. I’m finished here anyway.”

 

He sauntered off to the bedroom. Before the door closed, he turning to her saying.

 

“You look better. Clean”

 

She didn't know whether that was meant to be a compliment.

 

The door closed and she heard the faint noise of water coming from the bathroom. She attempted to meditate, concentrating on the Force, but her usually calm mind, so easily emptied, was full of thoughts. Randomly circling around her mind. Distracting her. Finally Kylo emerged from the bathroom wearing a grey jumper and dark trousers.

 

“I didn't think you owned anything that wasn't black.” She said, genuinely curious.

 

“You think I walk around in sith robes in my spare time?” He drawled. “It’s for First Order business. The outfit is meant to elicit fear. Combined with the helmet. Of course.”

 

“Right.” Rey said. “I guess people wouldn't be as afraid if they knew you there was a person under there. So you play act. Exploit peoples fear of Vader.” It had been thirty years but many still remembered when he was alive.

 

A glass spontaneously smashed in the corner. Imploded. She had angered him, with her talk of Vader. His family was his weakness. A fact she had always known.

 

She ignored the shards that littered the floor and picked up an apple from the counter. “So what's the first order been up to lately? I haven't heard anything in a year. Building a new weapon I suppose.”

 

“The first orders plans are none of your business. As for weapon development and other methods of engagement that is for Snoke to decide. And General Hux. I only enact my Master's will.”

 

“Does that make you happy?”

 

Kylo scoffed. “I didn't think you cared about my happiness Rey.”

 

She looked at him, at the scar that marred his face. That she had given him. “Simply curious.” She whispered. “We seem to keep running into each other, both because your Master's orders and through the Force.” She sighed. “I don't even know what to call you. My enemy. My nemesis. Normal people don’t have enemies. The idea of it seems a little ridiculous, extravagant.”

 

“We aren't normal people.” Kylo said.

 

“Maybe you should try it. Being normal. Not waltzing around like the Prince of darkness incarnate. But yes, I'm curious, about who you are, what you do, where you came from. I want to know how Ben Solo became Kylo Ren. I’m curious.”

 

“Ben Solo is dead.”

 

Rey took a steady breath. “I don't believe that.”

 

“He died when I became Kylo Ren.”

 

Rey stood up and stalked back to her room. Well Rens bedroom, but it was hers for now. “Well there is no hope for you then.”

 

Across the room another glass smashed. But this time it was her doing. She felt the darkness inside her, growing and devouring. The closed her eyes, forcing herself to focus on the Force. Focus on its balance, calming the dark inside her with light, hope, happiness, love. She pictured her friends, Finn, Chewbacca, BB8. It was minutes before she felt like herself again.

 

Kylo challenged her. Drew out the the fire in her soul, the fire she kept supressed, through years of scavenging and then of training with the Force. Made her savour her anger, her hate. Made her want to strike.

 

She would not be defeated. It the end it would be him that conceded, conceded and embraced the light.

 

_Just as her vision foretold._

 

She would fight to make it come true.

 

* * *

 

 

Landing on the trading outpost of Jun Tai, Kylo stretched. Rolling his neck, feeling a loud crack at the base of his spine. Two nights of sleeping in a chair had left him aching and tired.

 

At least he had acquired the girl. _Rey_. Who was now sleeping soundly in his bed.

 

He had dreamed about it. Being close to her. Talking to her. But dreams never match up to reality. In reality she was sullen, angry, rude. Talking to him, frustrated her. Frustrated him. She was still seething, from the destruction of her ship. His fault. She speeder had meant something to her. Symbolised her freedom.

 

But he had what he wanted. The mission was accomplished. He should take her to Snoke. But _he_ wanted her. For himself.

 

After their conversation that afternoon. Rey had retreated to his bedroom and closed the door. He sensed her mind. Her attempt to empty it of thoughts. She had meditated and slept. Attempting to restore her mind back to its usual state of calm. But her anger crackled like a fire. If she ever embraced the dark side, she would be unstoppable.

 

He pulled on his robe, but not the helmet, pulling the hood up to cover this face. People didn't like the First Order at trade outposts like this. Didn't like trouble.

 

Emerging from his command shuttle he looked around. Sand. And a few buildings and lesser structures, made out of salvage. From the wreckages of empire ships. Only one building was made of stone. A cantina, he supposed. Walls of scrap were too flimsy to cope with bar fights. _What a miserable place._ He couldn't believe people lived like this. In such desolation. He hated the outer rim.

 

He stepped outside and took in the ramshackle buildings. The people. Several of which were already contemplating robbing him. They would be fools to try. He surveyed the various establishments. He needed money. First Order credits would be of no use here.

 

He found a woman dressed in relatively fine clothing, compared to the rest of the lifeforms who frequented this dump. A show of affluence. With ease, he used the Force to push against her mind, coaxing himself into her consciousness, persuading her to surrender a large chunk of her personal wealth to him. He pocketed the coins.Then he found a trader and began bargaining the price of water, fuel.

 

Suddenly Rey was behind him. He sensed her presence before he saw her face.

 

“You’re awake.” He said nonchalantly.

 

She nodded, already looking twitchy fatigued.

 

“You left me alone.” She said raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well there isn't really anywhere you can go.” He said gesturing to the open empty desert beyond the settlement. He did not underestimate her attempting to commandeer his command shuttle, leaving him behind on this forsaken planet. What he imagined she’d just attempted to do. Thankfully, the controls only responded to him. His touch.

 

He watched as Rey looked around. “This place reminds me of Niima.” She said softly. There was bitterness in her voice but also longing.

 

Her looked at her. Observing the conflict in her face. Her life, it has been a horrible one. But, she could not deny her connection to the desert he realised. It had become her home.

 

“We landed.” She said her eyes searching for answers.

 

“Yes, I need to refuel.” Kylo said to her. “And you need to spend half an hour in a bacta tank.” His eyes roamed over her body. She well healing well, but still showed signs of injury. His ship only had primitive medical equipment. He hadn't needed anything more.

 

 _Until he met her_. On Starkiller Base. She had struck him down. Hate in her eyes. He pushed the memory from his mind.

 

“Also, someone emptied the auxiliary water tank.” He said accusingly.

 

“I was thirsty.”

 

Kylo grimaced at the thought of Rey drinking _that_ water, filthy, untreated.

 

“That water is meant to be used as coolant. It isn't safe to drink.”

 

Rey shrugged. She evidently didn't care.

 

“You have an obsession with cleanliness.” She said. It was a statement, not a question.

 

“Perhaps.” He replied.

 

“Figures.” She muttered.

 

“What?”

 

“You have a neurotic personality.”

 

He turned and began to walk away. He did not have the time or want to listen to her psychoanalyse him.

 

He went to another seller, to purchase food. Rey came after him, watching him.

 

“She's cheating you, you know.”

 

“What do you know of this currency.” He said annoyed.

 

“Only that she's over-charging you for everything. In places like this there is not one set price for everything. You have to fight to get a good deal.”

 

Rey began to haggle.

 

Ren would have rather just have paid double, but he left her to argue. This was her domain; a land of sand and scrap.

 

They ate lunch together at the cantina. Rey relishing the bargains she had managed to acquire.

 

“I think the lady felt sorry to me.” She said gesturing to the yellowing bruise on her cheekbone, the swollen eye. “I look like your battered wife.” She wore an expression of disgust.

 

“We'll fix that.” he said disgruntled. “First eat your rice.”

 

Rey stared at him with annoyance. She obviously didn't like being told what to do. But she cleared her plate nonetheless.

 

There was a sole healer at the outpost, operating out of a dark backroom in some sort of residence dedicated to gambling on fights between small orniform animals. Luckily there was a bacta tank. Some old model letting off a loud whirring noise. A dissonant clanging.

 

Ren paid the healer generously for allowing Rey to use it.

 

“Got yourselves in some sort of trouble?” She said, eyeing Rey closely. Too closely.

 

“Engine problems.” Ren muttered slipping her an extra coin.

 

He watched her slip down to her underclothes. Unraveling her arm guards, removing her capris. Savouring the view of her slender tanned limbs. She caught him watching her and hissed ‘ _get out_ ’ at him.

 

He left and walked around enquiring about a room for the night. Under no circumstances was he sleeping in a chair again.

 

A while later Rey emerged. Her body perfectly healed. Not a scratch remaining.

 

“My command shuttle is with a mechanic. It needs to be refuelled, and some parts replaced.” He said. “We’re staying here tonight.”

 

Rey did not show any sign of acknowledgement, until she saw the room.

 

“We’re sharing a room.” She said enraged.

 

“There's two beds.” He said irritated. “It's all I could find in such a small settlement.” Why did she have to argue about every little thing?

 

Rey began to protest. “I don't feel particularly comfortable sleeping in the same room the man who captured, irrogated, killed my friend and then captured me again. Let alone the same planet.”

 

“Your comfort is not my main priority. You can sleep in the desert, for all I care.” He said hardening his voice.

 

“What happened to making amends?” She said looking at him. Her mouth twisted into a smile. Deadly. She was a wolf masquerading as a doe.

 

“The bed is comfortable. And I already told you that I wouldn’t hurt you. I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already?”

 

Rey's lips set in a hard line but she followed after him. To their room.

 

It was only mid-afternoon but Kylo flopped down onto the bed ready to sleep. He was exhausted. Darkness took him.

 

He awoke a few hours later. Stretching. There was still light outside but the sky was darkening. Soon it would be twilight. He looked around the room. Rey was nowhere to be seen. Kylo swore. Was she really stupid enough that she thought could run away? His eyes settler on the desert past the borders of the outpost. She was familiar with this geology, this climate. Maybe she thought she had a chance.

 

He closed his eyes and searched the Force. He couldn't usually sense anybody who wasn't in close proximity to his person, but with Rey, there was something about her, the Force bond they shared that made her easy to locate. He had always felt her, he realised, ever since they had met, a disturbance in the Force. A phantom shadow demanding his attention.

 

He felt her, her mind, her consciousness. She was close. Kylo started running. He could sense she was not far from the border of the outpost, and a trail of her footsteps were imprinted in the sand. A lone set of tracks. Kylo willed himself to run faster but the heat, and the soft sand that collapsed beneath his feet fatigued him. By the time she was in his field of vision, he was breathless. Robe soaked in sweat.

 

He tore his lightsaber from his belt, clutching it in preparation. To retrieve her. But as he looked at at the figure in the distance, he noticed that she was not running, not moving at all.

 

Rey sat cross legged on top of a dune. Perfectly still. Head tilted towards the sky.

 

Landing on the trading outpost of Jun Tai, Kylo stretched. Rolling his neck, feeling a loud crack at the base of his spine. Two nights of sleeping in a chair had left him aching and tired.

 

At least he had acquired the girl. _Rey_. Who was now sleeping soundly in his bed.

 

He had dreamed about it. Being close to her. Talking to her. But dreams never match up to reality. In reality she was sullen, angry, rude. Talking to him, frustrated her. Frustrated him. She was still seething, from the destruction of her ship. His fault. She speeder had meant something to her. Symbolised her freedom.

 

But he had what he wanted. The mission was accomplished. He should take her to Snoke. But _he_ wanted her. For himself.

 

After their conversation that afternoon. Rey had retreated to his bedroom and closed the door. He sensed her mind. Her attempt to empty it of thoughts. She had meditated and slept. Attempting to restore her mind back to its usual state of calm. But her anger crackled like a fire. If she ever embraced the dark side, she would be unstoppable.

 

He pulled on his robe, but not the helmet, pulling the hood up to cover this face. People didn't like the First Order at trade outposts like this. Didn't like trouble.

 

Emerging from his command shuttle he looked around. Sand. And a few buildings and lesser structures, made out of salvage. From the wreckages of empire ships. Only one building was made of stone. A cantina, he supposed. Walls of scrap were too flimsy to cope with bar fights. _What a miserable place._ He couldn't believe people lived like this. In such desolation. He hated the outer rim.

 

He stepped outside and took in the ramshackle buildings. The people. Several of which were already contemplating robbing him. They would be fools to try. He surveyed the various establishments. He needed money. First Order credits would be of no use here.

 

He found a woman dressed in relatively fine clothing, compared to the rest of the lifeforms who frequented this dump. A show of affluence. With ease, he used the Force to push against her mind, coaxing himself into her consciousness, persuading her to surrender a large chunk of her personal wealth to him. He pocketed the coins.Then he found a trader and began bargaining the price of water, fuel.

 

Suddenly Rey was behind him. He sensed her presence before he saw her face.

 

“You’re awake.” He said nonchalantly.

 

She nodded, already looking twitchy fatigued.

 

“You left me alone.” She said raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well there isn't really anywhere you can go.” He said gesturing to the open empty desert beyond the settlement. He did not underestimate her attempting to commandeer his command shuttle, leaving him behind on this forsaken planet. What he imagined she’d just attempted to do. Thankfully, the controls only responded to him. His touch.

 

He watched as Rey looked around. “This place reminds me of Niima.” She said softly. There was bitterness in her voice but also longing.

 

Her looked at her. Observing the conflict in her face. Her life, it has been a horrible one. But, she could not deny her connection to the desert he realised. It had become her home.

 

“We landed.” She said her eyes searching for answers.

 

“Yes, I need to refuel.” Kylo said to her. “And you need to spend half an hour in a bacta tank.” His eyes roamed over her body. She well healing well, but still showed signs of injury. His ship only had primitive medical equipment. He hadn't needed anything more.

 

 _Until he met her_. On Starkiller Base. She had struck him down. Hate in her eyes. He pushed the memory from his mind.

 

“Also, someone emptied the auxiliary water tank.” He said accusingly.

 

“I was thirsty.”

 

Kylo grimaced at the thought of Rey drinking _that_ water, filthy, untreated.

 

“That water is meant to be used as coolant. It isn't safe to drink.”

 

Rey shrugged. She evidently didn't care.

 

“You have an obsession with cleanliness.” She said. It was a statement, not a question.

 

“Perhaps.” He replied.

 

“Figures.” She muttered.

 

“What?”

 

“You have a neurotic personality.”

 

He turned and began to walk away. He did not have the time or want to listen to her psychoanalyse him.

 

He went to another seller, to purchase food. Rey came after him, watching him.

 

“She's cheating you, you know.”

 

“What do you know of this currency.” He said annoyed.

 

“Only that she's over-charging you for everything. In places like this there is not one set price for everything. You have to fight to get a good deal.”

 

Rey began to haggle.

 

Ren would have rather just have paid double, but he left her to argue. This was her domain; a land of sand and scrap.

 

They ate lunch together at the cantina. Rey relishing the bargains she had managed to acquire.

 

“I think the lady felt sorry to me.” She said gesturing to the yellowing bruise on her cheekbone, the swollen eye. “I look like your battered wife.” She wore an expression of disgust.

 

“We'll fix that.” he said disgruntled. “First eat your rice.”

 

Rey stared at him with annoyance. She obviously didn't like being told what to do. But she cleared her plate nonetheless.

 

There was a sole healer at the outpost, operating out of a dark backroom in some sort of residence dedicated to gambling on fights between small orniform animals. Luckily there was a bacta tank. Some old model letting off a loud whirring noise. A dissonant clanging.

 

Ren paid the healer generously for allowing Rey to use it.

 

“Got yourselves in some sort of trouble?” She said, eyeing Rey closely. Too closely.

 

“Engine problems.” Ren muttered slipping her an extra coin.

 

He watched her slip down to her underclothes. Unraveling her arm guards, removing her capris. Savouring the view of her slender tanned limbs. She caught him watching her and hissed ‘ _get out_ ’ at him.

 

He left and walked around enquiring about a room for the night. Under no circumstances was he sleeping in a chair again.

 

A while later Rey emerged. Her body perfectly healed. Not a scratch remaining.

 

“My command shuttle is with a mechanic. It needs to be refuelled, and some parts replaced.” He said. “We’re staying here tonight.”

 

Rey did not show any sign of acknowledgement, until she saw the room.

 

“We’re sharing a room!” She said enraged.

 

“There's two beds.” He said irritated. “It's all I could find in such a small settlement.” Why did she have to argue about every little thing?

 

Rey began to protest. “I don't feel particularly comfortable sleeping in the same room the man who captured, irrogated, killed my friend and then captured me again. Let alone the same planet.”

 

“Your comfort is not my main priority. You can sleep in the desert, for all I care.” He said hardening his voice.

 

“What happened to making amends?” She said looking at him. Her mouth twisted into a smile. Deadly. She was a wolf masquerading as a doe.

 

“The bed is comfortable. And I already told you that I wouldn’t hurt you. I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already?”

 

Rey's lips set in a hard line but she followed after him. To their room.

 

It was only mid-afternoon but Kylo flopped down onto the bed ready to sleep. He was exhausted. Darkness took him.

 

He awoke a few hours later. Stretching. There was still light outside but the sky was darkening. Soon it would be twilight. He looked around the room. Rey was nowhere to be seen. Kylo swore. Was she really stupid enough that she thought could run away? His eyes settler on the desert past the borders of the outpost. She was familiar with this geology, this climate. Maybe she thought she had a chance.

 

He closed his eyes and searched the Force. He couldn't usually sense anybody who wasn't in close proximity to his person, but with Rey, there was something about her, the Force bond they shared that made her easy to locate. He had always felt her, he realised, ever since they had met, a disturbance in the Force. A phantom shadow demanding his attention.

 

He felt her, her mind, her consciousness. She was close. Kylo started running. He could sense she was not far from the border of the outpost, and a trail of her footsteps were imprinted in the sand. A lone set of tracks. Kylo willed himself to run faster but the heat, and the soft sand that collapsed beneath his feet fatigued him. By the time she was in his field of vision, he was breathless. Robe soaked in sweat.

 

He tore his lightsaber from his belt, clutching it in preparation. To retrieve her. But as he looked at at the figure in the distance, he noticed that she was not running, not moving at all.

 

Rey sat cross legged on top of a dune. Perfectly still. Head tilted towards the sky.

 

_She was watching the sunset._


	7. Aggressive Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strikes and counter strikes. Things get steamy.

Rey awoke as the sun rose. The way she always did when on a planet. When she was flying it was different. Space disoriented her. But here, on land, she was an early riser.

 

Beside her Kylo slept. His tall, imposing form dwarfed the single bed. Limbs hanging off it at strange angles. At some point in the night he had taken off his shirt, and she could see his torso, bare skin emerging from the sheet that was twisted around his limbs.

 

She he had dreamed about him. A sinful dream, where he had peeled off her clothes, lips trailing a path down her skin to unexplored territories.

 

Rey shook out her limbs, attempting to remove the dream from her mind, forget it. Already in her moments of wakefulness, it had lost its intensity, fading away to insignificance. She was thankful that dreams did that.

 

She _didn't_ like Ren, she was sure of that. He was too volatile. And spoiled in the way he had always had people looking after him growing up. Despite all his exercise, he was soft. In a way she couldn't afford to be.

 

The only acceptable reason for the dream was that spending too much time with him. A male her age. And in close proximity. No wonder she felt like this. Nevermind his disregard for wearing a shirt. The dream, it was only natural, she told herself.

 

Yet, instead of turning away, she continued to watch him sleeping, analysing his face, his chaotic mass of dark curls. She looked at his lips and wondered what they would feel like against hers. She wanted it she realised. To be tasted.

 

Her life had been devoid of love, of physical touch. For so long, she had been numb, unfeeling. Discovering the Force had compelled her to open herself up. _And now this._

 

She stood up forcing the thought out of her mind. Kylo Ren was a monster. She seen what he was capable of.

 

She walked over to his belongings and picked up the data pad. It was black and around the size of a book. When she had complained of boredom the past afternoon, he had given it to her, to occupy herself with.

 

“There are some scans of ancient jedi texts on there.” He said. “Maybe you can attempt to educate yourself.”

 

She had scowled at him. But began to read nonetheless.

 

They had been informative, but rather dull. Reputation of rules, of having a pure mind and pure soul. References to different forms of different forms of lightsaber combat. Meditation techniques.

 

But there had also been stories of the Sith. Of cruel masters and devious apprentices. The apprentice must kill the master to complete his journey the stories wrote. There could only ever be two. A master and an apprentice.

 

She read of the demise of the Republic, the Jedi council. Darth Sidious’s devious plan. How he masqueraded as a politician. Commissioned a clone army, for the Republic, secretly loyal to him. How he had persuaded Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader. Thousands of Jedi had died, ushering in a new era. An era of order. And fear. She read on entranced. How little she knew of the history of the galaxy. The Jedi. The Sith.

 

Scavengers had no need for history. Every day passed in the same fashion. There was no past or future. Only the present.

 

She looked inside herself. She knew she had to conquer the past. To forget it. To move on. But that was easier said than done.

 

She turned her attention back to the data pad. Ren had given it to her only to read, but she had easily bypassed the protocols, accessing his personal files.

 

At first there was nothing of interest. A few messages between Ren and some individual called Hux. Who Ren obviously didn't regard highly enough to send a transmission to. To talk, face to face. The emails were polite, but beneath, lay a veneer of hostility in Hux’s words and Rens replies. Evidently neither liked the other.

 

She read the latest message.

 

 

 

>  
> 
> “Have you acquired the Scavenger girl, yet. Or is the Supreme Leader once again correct about your incompetence?”

 

Kylo had replied. With a grainy photo of her unconscious, bruised and bloody, lips a pale blue from lack on oxygen and cold.

 

 

 

 

> “I have her. Though it may be a while before she can be delivered to the Supreme Leader. Unfortunately she was injured, while evading capture.”

 

Hux had answered in his usual derisive manner, goading him.

 

 

 

 

> “You do like to make a mess don't you Ren. Don't expect me to buy that excuse. Get her to a bacta tank. Then deliver her. Find something else to play with. You are delaying First Order business. The Supreme Leader will not be happy.”
> 
>  

Rey turned off the data pad. Not wanting to read further. She felt sick.

 

Ren didn't mean to let her go. She had already known this. The past few days she had willfully ignored the fact. She'd been enjoying the luxury of good food and a soft bed. Hot showers. Leisure. But suddenly she felt scared.

 

 _It was time to leave._   _To find the Resistance._

 

Rey got up, silently taking Rens remaining money. Other the other side of the room he continued to sleep. She slinked through the door, leaving. Searched the outpost until she found the command shuttle. Sweet-talked the mechanic into letting her onto it.

 

She collected her remaining belongings that Ren had stowed in a storage cabinet. Her staff and lightsaber. Everything else had been destroyed in the wreckage. Then she left the command shuttle behind. She wished she could steal it, commander Rens transport. She had tried yesterday morning. But the controls wouldn't respond to her, despite her inputting the correct start-up procedure. Incorrect genetic match, the console read. Whenever she thought she had an opportunity to run, to escape. Ren was already one step ahead of her.

 

She confidently strode into the cantina. And asked if there was any transport available. The bartender pointed at a Chiss female in the corner.

 

“Talk to Sorscha.” He said impatiently.

 

The woman, Sorscha, had vulpine maroon eyes, and aquamarine coloured skin. Rey talked to her. Told her she need to leave this planet. She showed her the remaining money.

 

“That's not enough.” Sorscha said, without feeling.

 

“That's all I have.” Rey said firmly, trying not to let her desperation show.

 

“No money, no ride.”

 

Rey lowered her voice. “ _Look_ , I’m with the Resistance. If you take me to them, they will reward you.”

 

Sorscha looked unimpressed. “I don't get mixed up in Resistance business, or that of the First Order. They don't come to these parts and we don't cause problems for them. Find the money or find a different transport.”

 

Rey began to get annoyed. She felt the Force around her. Found the edges of Sorscha’s mind and pushed. “You will take me as a passenger on your transport.”

 

The Chiss began to laugh. “It isn't as easy as changing a humans mind is it?” Sorscha laughed. “So, you have some sensitivity to the Force girl. Maybe you are with the Resistance. They like your type. Think a few mind tricks can save the world.”

 

Rey bared her teeth. The metal of Sorscha’s cup twisted in her hand, spilling drops of liquid. “Yes I have some control over the Force. There's more where that came from. I’m also an excellent mechanic, and good in a fight.”

 

Sorscha looked at her begrudgingly, and took the money. “Ship leaves at noon.” She said before walking away.

 

Rey and Ren shared a tenuous breakfast together. Rey feigning ignorance over the lost money. Ren had acquired more, forcing a junk trader to hand over a pocketful of coppers to him.

 

Rey's fingers brushed the lightsaber under her clothes as she ate. Savouring the reassuring feel of it against her skin.

 

It was only once they finished eating, that Ren turned to her.

 

“Your going somewhere _aren't_ you.” Kylo asked, his tone even.

 

“It’s time.” Rey said. “I’m well again thanks to the bacta. You said I could stay with you while I recuperated, that you wouldn’t deliver me to Snoke. But it's time for me to go now.”

 

“I’m afraid I can't let that happen.” He said softly.

 

“You lied to me.”

 

“I said I wouldn't deliver you to Snoke while you were recovering. Now that you are healthy again…”

 

 _A half lie_. Rey snarled. “You don't get to tell me what to do. To rule my life.”

 

“It would be easier if you didn't think about it from that perspective.” Ren said.

 

He reached out a gloved hand to hers. “Train with me.”

 

“No.” she snapped. “Get out of my way.”

 

She turned away and began to walk but an invisible wall stopped her. Rey fought against it with all her might. Suddenly she could move again. She turned to look at him.

 

 _Fight or flight_. She couldn't run away, so she would have to face him.

 

She drew her lightsaber.

 

“So, you found your lightsaber. Or should I say mine." Ren said, mouth curling in what looked like approval. "You are quite resourceful, aren't you?"

 

Rey snarled. “Don’t think I won't kill you.”

 

"I wouldn't expect anything less. I remember when I first found you. You were so angry. It was you who attacked me first. In the forest, haplessly trying to shoot me with a blaster. You’ve come on so much since then. Become a worthy opponent.”

 

His own lightsaber flared to life. “I remember when I was about to interrogate you, a nobody, a scavenger from Jakku. You so badly wanted to kill me, without even knowing who I was. I admired your hate. Even before you discovered the Force, before the fight on Starkiller Base. I admired you. You felt so intensely. I admired your passion. Your fire.”

 

Rey swung her lightsaber towards him, making the first move. He swung to block her.

 

As their lightsabers met, so did their eyes. “It’s always a pleasure fighting you Rey.” He said to her silkily.

 

It was a pleasure. Ducking and swerving, to avoid his saber. The feeling of such a fine weapon, glowing with energy in her hand. It was a rush. She felt truly alive when she was dueling like this.

 

Of course if she mistepped, there would be pain. She realised she should be afraid. But in the moment everything fell away. The Force was guiding her.

 

She raised her free hand, throwing Ren back a couple of feet. Then she twirled grazing his left shoulder. Leaving a bright red mark behind.

 

“You’re learning.” He said. Then turned to strike her.

 

She twisted, swerved out of the way, turning her lightsaber to meet his.

 

She knew how to play this game. Strikes and counter strikes. Attack and defense.

 

They exchanged blow after blow. She attacked so fiercely, striking again and again, that Ren was forced to go on the defensive. She drove him backwards, but suddenly he turned, using the Force to cause the sand beneath her feet to collapse.

 

She stumbled forward and the horizontal protrusion of his crossguard lightsaber caught her, burning a welt above her elbow.

 

In her anger she pushed him back, sand flying up into the air as if suddenly affected by a lack of gravity. Bits of grit getting in her eyes, his. Separating them. She wiped her arm guard across her eyes then charged forward, putting all her energy into the blow. Kylo pulled his lightsaber up to block her just in time but the attack was so vicious, the lightsaber took the full Force of it, flying out of his hand.

 

She had disarmed him. But before she could strike his hands grabbed her forearm stopping her, his other hand gripping her shoulder. Rey pushed against him, attempting to free her hand but damn he was strong. Their eyes met. She smiled up at him, a twisted grimace, baring all her teeth. Sure he may have stopped her from killing him, but he had no weapon. She looked at him, his sweating, pained face, taunting him.

 

_What are you going to do now?_

 

She expected him to fight but instead his free arm came up to cup her jaw.

 

_And then he was kissing her._

 

She had anticipated it, a split second before it happened. But strangely, almost unconsciously she let him. Let his mouth brush against hers. Let his hands roam, tangling in her hair, caressing her waist. Let his lips find her ear, her neck. He had awoken something inside her when they first met, she realised. Not just the Force, but a deeper, more primal desire.

 

Kylo was surprisingly gentle. His lips were soft, Rey feeling only the slightest warmth and pressure against her skin. Teasing. She felt heat build inside her. He was taunting her. Taunting her with the tameness of his kisses. His leisurely pace. She needed more. Without stopping to think, Rey pressed her body against his. Her lips brushing against his mouth. She kissed him back, a silent urgency in the action. Yielded herself to him.

 

That one kiss was all the encouragement Kylo needed. This time when he kissed her, there was a frenzied urgency to the action. His hands dropped to her hips pulling her closer. His teeth grazed her lower lip. Suddenly he bit down hard. She moaned, from the vicious unexpected nature of it, opening her mouth to let his tongue explore it.

 

His tongue ran along the tips of her teeth, tasting. She sucked on his lower lip wanting, needing, more. He kissed her like the wild uncontrollable creature he was, gifted with the Force, used to taking what he wanted. Rey felt him harden against her. She froze.

 

_What had come over her?_

 

Suddenly herself again. Rey backed away stunned. She had never kissed anyone like that before. _Or even been kissed_. She tilted her head up meeting Rens eyes. He met her gaze, and the corner of his mouth turned up. A smile, a smirk, an invitation. She slapped him. Hard. She went to swing her lightsaber but it was no longer in her hand.

 

It was in _Rens_.

 

“Looking for this?” Ren said. Her saber, Luke’s saber, sitting in his enclosed palm.

 

Rey swore. How easily he had disarmed her.

 

The kiss had been a weapon, she realised. He had done it, not out of passion, but because he could sense himself losing. He had been playing dirty. She shouldn't have expected anything less from someone who followed the dark side.

 

“Give it to me.” Rey hissed. Anger combining with the heat she still felt. A reminder of the kiss.

 

“I think I'll keep it for now.” Ren said. “Don’t worry. You'll get it back at some point. When I’m sure you won't kill me with it.”

 

“You deserve no better.” Rey said, looking at him. There was colour in his cheeks and his hair was dishevelled. She had seen his lust for her, when she had searched his mind. But this was proof of it, whether he had used it again her of not. She looked down at his trousers, his arousal still evident.

 

She looked, at him, savouring his evident unease.

 

“I’ll give you a choice. Train with me for a month, and if by the end of it you still wish to leave, I’ll let you go. Or I can deliver you to Snoke right this moment. And believe me, whatever Snoke plans for you, it will be much more uncomfortable, than my training.”

 

Rey stared at him. “Why, _why_ do you want to train me so badly”

 

“I want you to understand the power of the dark side.”

 

“Fine. Two weeks. I'll train with you for two weeks” 

 

“I don't think you are in a position to bargain Rey.” Ren said.

 

“Fine. three weeks.”

 

Ren sighed but yielded.

 

“Three weeks it is.”

 

“And then you'll let me go.”

 

“Yes.”

 

_Another trick?_

 

“Pledge yourself to me. Swear on the life of your old master.”

 

Rey knelt. “For the next three weeks I will be your apprentice. I swear it on the life of Luke Skywalker.”

 

A pit of anger and guilt filled her stomach.

 

Why was it she had let him kiss her. Kissed him back. What had come over her. _Some fit of insanity?_

 

She swore. This was her fault. And now she had to pay the consequence.

 

“Your training begins tomorrow.” Ren said.

 

He grabbed her arm and lead her back towards the command shuttle. She shrank away from his touch.

 

The sun was high in the centre of the sky. In the distance she heard the noise of engines. A freighter leaving the atmosphere. _Sorscha._ Her means of escape.

 

She stopped resisting and followed him back onboard. Back to captivity.

 

Later. Sitting on Kylo Rens bed. She grabbed the data pad. Pretended to read. Brought up some blueprints of weapons. First order spacecraft. Learning their weakness.

 

All afternoon she sat memorising names and numbers. Ready to feed to the resistance.

 

She would draw information out of him drop by drop, until this was over, or she could escape. Then she would go back to the Resistance, with something useful, intel on the First Order.

 

_Strikes and counter strikes._

 

She had defeated her, but she would destroy him.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo had waited until Rey was asleep before stepping into the bathroom and touching himself. All afternoon he had felt ragged, burning, itching with desire.

 

He thought back to Rey kissing him. He hadn't expected her to. Not like _that_. He closed his eyes, savouring the memory of it.

 

He had distracted her well enough that her mind was open. While he kissed her he could feel her pleasure. Feel how he was teasing her. Her thoughts mixed with the sensations his body was feeling. It was overwhelming. The feeling of her body against his, hard muscle and soft curves, her fingers curling in his hair, the heat of her mouth. _He had almost lost control._

 

And her only meant to disarm her. But now he wanted to fuck her. Tease and torture her body until she begged for mercy.

 

He never slept with anyone before though. He’d come close, with a fellow Jedi. A girl who also liked to break the rules, when he was still Ben Solo. When his body was still ruled by teenage hormones. But never since.

 

When they battled, he had been losing. With a light saber Rey was whirlwind, a Force to be reckoned with. Especially now she had been trained in technique. He had to find a way to defeat her, to stop her from cutting him down. So he acted on his passion, his desire. Like he had been taught by Snoke.

 

It had worked. He had deceived the girl. But Rey’s lips, they had ruined him.

 

Spending time with her was going to be uncomfortable.

 

But he would train her. Make her see things his way. She would make a powerful dark side Force user.

 

He sat down in the pilots chair of his cockpit and attempted to sleep. He dreamed of unsavoury things, of falling and lava, and the look on his father's face when he had killed him, how he had touched his face.

 

_It was a relief to wake up._

 

He landed on the planet of Lahn as the sun rose.

 

He woke up Rey, who looked at him reproachfully but also with a strange exasperation.

 

She felt it too.

 

“Get up.” he said, not mentioning yesterday's events. “We’re going on a run.”

 

“A _run_?” She protested. “What does any of this have to do with the Force?”

 

“You have to walk before you can run. Well run actually.” He said, allowing himself to laugh at his own analogy.

 

Rey looked unimpressed. But she followed after him, nimble on her feet.

 

She was strong and fast, and at first she matched his pace easily, but as they began to run up hill, the terrain becoming steeper and rockier she began to slow.

 

“Keep up.” He shouted at her. She gritted her teeth and panting red in the face, pushed herself faster, boots slamming down on rocks and tree roots.

 

There was something elegant about her run, he thought to himself. He Forced himself to tear away his gaze from her, from her long limbs and the colour in her cheeks. Face and body, glistening in sweat.

 

It took an hour for them to reach the summit. Rey collapsed sitting on a log, her breathing uneven. Head in her hands.

 

“We’re not done yet.” He told her. “Follow me.”

 

Downhill the run was easier, weaving through trees down to a rocky plateau. They stopped and Kylo gestured to a low hanging tree branch.

 

“Grab it and pull yourself up.”

 

“I can't reach it.” Rey said.

 

“Use the Force.”

 

Rey closed her eyes and staggered. “I can't Force jump. I didn't _even_ know anything about the Force a year ago.”

 

Kylo came up behind her, and grabbed her by the waist, lifting.

 

He too, didn't know how to Force jump. He had even become a little rusty with a saber. His Sith training with Snoke had mainly consisted of the physical Force, manipulating it, and using it to see inside people's minds, find hidden memories. That was his specialty. Interrogation. A skill essential for day to day life in the First Order.

 

Rey pulled her body weight up with difficulty.

 

“Again” he ordered, watching her do pull up after pull up.

  
  
He made her repeat the action again and again until she was too tired to hang on to the branch any more, falling onto rock. Then they ran some more, followed by push ups until Rey, couldn't handle any more. Then planks.

 

Kylo was about to command her to climb a treacherously high tree when Rey snapped.

 

“I’m not doing this anymore.” She said silently weeping. Her breathing came in uneven pants and when she moved her muscles she winced in pain. She collapsed to the ground.

 

“You’re undisciplined.” He told her.

 

“It's been four hours, four hours of running uphill, and stupid exercises. Do you want to torture me. Was that your plan all along?” She spat through a veil of tears.

 

He reached out a gloved hand to her. “I wanted to find your physical breaking point. And here it is. With your mind it will be more difficult.”

 

Rey looked at him shuddering. “You want to _break_ me.”

 

“It’s the Sith way.” He said plainly. “You have to be broken to be reborn. When I told you Ben Solo was dead. I wasn't lying.”

 

Rey looked at him with pity, though as soon as she caught him staring at her, the expression changed to one of loathing.

 

“That's enough for now.” He said offering her his hand. “Time to eat something.”

 

Rey took his hand. Pulling herself up. She reluctantly followed him back to the command shuttle, looking tired. Unhappy.

 

He ordered her to shower while he prepared food. She did not challenge him.

 

“What is this?” Rey said looking down skeptically at the bowl of mush before her.

 

“Storm trooper rations. Nutritionally balanced and easy to prepare.”

 

“Tastes like Sarlacc shit.”

 

“Something you are familiar with?”

 

Rey looked at him with derision.

 

“ _Vaguely_.”

 

He turned away from her, away from her defiant stare. And gestured to a pile of canvas and metal in the corner.

 

“Now you are my student, prior privileges will be rescinded. From now on you are sleeping outside. You can come inside the shuttle to shower, and for meals.”

 

Rey pursed her lips, looking annoyed. She stood up lifting the tent, canvas and makeshift poles, and turned to him. “The further away I am from you, the better.” She spat storming out of the room.

 

He savoured her anger and her helplessness. He liked the power he had over her.

 

He watched as she erected the tent on the far side of the clearing the command shuttle lay in. As far from him as possible.

 

When she didn't return, he realised she was sleeping. He left her to rest for a few hours.

 

“Wake up.” He said. It was mid-afternoon.

 

Rey groaned. Looking at him in annoyance.

 

“Five more minutes.”

 

He left her to dress.

 

They walked slowly, Rey looking like she was in some discomfort from the exercise this morning. She was dressed in all black. Storm trooper underclothes he had given her. Her old clothes destroyed by dirt and sweat. In the long sleeved shirt and leggings she looked rakish, deadly.

 

_Almost like a Sith._

 

They reached a rocky ledge overlooking a lake. Water clear and blue. 

 

“Your first lesson.” He said to her. “Learn to swim.”

 

Rey opened her mouth to protest. Body physically backing away from the water. She stared at the lake below. Fear in her eyes.

 

Using her distraction to his advantage, He used the Force to push her off the cliff and into the lake below. Rey screamed.

 

She fell barelling into the water, with a dissonant splash. She disappeared beneath the surface before rising up, gasping for air. Hands clawing the water. She began to struggle.

 

Pulling off his cowl. He dived in after her.

 

She was kicking and flailing like a malfunctioning protocol droid. He swam to her grabbing her shoulders. The wound on his shoulder Rey had given him yesterday stung.

 

“Be still.” He said to her.

 

Slowly, she stop struggling, limbs going limp.

 

“Lie back. Breathe. _Be calm_.” He told her. “There is air in your lungs. You won’t drown. Unless you panic and flail.”

 

Rey lay back. She was floating.

 

“Close your eyes.” He said to her. “Sense the Force around you. What do you feel?”

 

Rey closed her eyes, attempting to erase the unease and fear from her features. She concentrated. Suddenly her face relaxed. A small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

 

“Everything.” She whispered. “Life. Weeds, growing towards the sunlight, harnessing its energy. Fish swimming between the weeds, so free, so agile. Death, tiny crustaceans, scavengers, eating the corpses of dead fish. Creating more life. And even smaller, algae, floating unseen by everything but the tiniest fish.”

 

Kylo moved closer to her. Lifted his hand to touch her face. Astonished. She was incredibly sensitive to the Force.

 

Rey stiffened.

 

Her eyes opened, and for a moment their gazes locked. He wanted to kiss her. But he did not, feeling her evident discomfort. He removed his hand from her face.

 

“Focus on the fish. Feel how they swim, perfectly adapted to be in the water. Leave your fear behind.”

 

Rey looked calmer, beautiful, strong.

 

He had to think about Hux. To dessimate his arousal.

 

“I think _now_ , you can try treading water.”

 

He grabbed her waist, her arms manoeuvring her into the correct position. Forced himself to think of her only as his student. A weapon he would create, for the dark side. For Snoke.

 

_This was going to be a long couple of weeks._


	8. Espionage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think that we should all agree that Kylo Ren is bad boyfriend material.

Rey’s whole body ached. Joints throbbing. Muscles sore to the touch. If Rens evil plan was to exhaust her, it was working.

 

_She was so tired._

 

The last five days, had been an exquisite torture. Her whole body felt like one big bruise. And spending time with Ren made her feel uneasy.

 

He was always _touching_ her. Hands roaming so freely.  Like he owned her. Lifting her up. Positioning parts of her body in the water. Fingers grazing her jaw.

 

Every day was the same. Awake before dawn. Running, uphill. Then more running. Followed by some sort of exercise. Then in the afternoon swimming. The water filled her with fear. She couldn't get used to the lack of solid ground beneath her feet.

 

Training with a saber she could handle. Using the physical Force. It was a part of her, the Force. The light. The water however, felt foreign, as it caressed her limbs, tangling her hair, getting into the her eyes. It disturbed her.

 

At least she could swim now. _Sort of_. She wouldn't drown at least.

 

Ren had been teaching her how to swim frog style. And to cut through the water with a crawl. Slowly, she was improving her movements becoming more streamlined. Less like a struggling animal.

 

At night when she had finished her training for the day and wolfed down some tasteless mush, she immediately fell asleep. No time to think, no time for espionage.

 

And on top of everything, she was having strange dreams. Dreams of Ren, defiling her, slowly, leisurely. And her enjoying it.

 

She wiped the image from her mind.

 

_She needed to contact the Resistance._

 

But she was so tired.

 

At the end of the fifth day. Rey undid the bindings around her breasts. There, wedged against her ribs was the tracker the Resistance had given her. She had hidden it well.

 

Finn... He had the other half.

 

She missed him. So much her heart ached. Last time she had seen him he was badly injured. In a medically induced coma.

 

But, somehow, when she looked inside herself she knew; that he was alive and well.

 

She gazed at the tracker in her palm. She could activate it. Send a signal to the Resistance.

 

But Ren would know. The detection systems on his command shuttle would intercept it, leading the First Order straight to the Resistance base.

 

And she needed to send a message, not just a signal.

 

If only she could rewire the tracker. Rewire it to transmit in a frequency the command shuttle would not detect.

 

“Binary ll.” She whispered to herself. She laughed at the genius of her own idea.

 

Binary ll. Not a complex signal, just a stream of repeated ones and zeros. It could be broadcast outside the channels of First Order detection. It was an old method of communication, one the Rebellion had used, to transmit messages when in the proximity of Imperial ships. To avoid interception. But she handed heard of anyone using it in decades. She hoped the Resistance would recognise it.

 

The tracker, was a beacon, that when activated, would send a stream of repeating code on an encrypted frequency to Finn’s device. _The receiver_. Coordinates. All she had to do was change the frequency, and download a message onto the tracker, encoded in Binary ll.

 

Rey got to work, rewiring the tracker. Just as she had finished, it began to rain. Heavily.

 

Drops ricocheted off the fabric of the tent, sonorous and loud. Then she began to feel a wetness, rainwater dripping onto the top of her head, soaking her hair. Rivulets falling down her face, her neck. The tent was not waterproof.

 

 _Ren was an idiot_.

 

He had purchased this pile of canvas and metal at the desert outpost where they had stayed for a night. A desert planet where it never rained. Where every ounce of mist, every molecule of water,  was harvested by moisture farmers and sold. The tent was not designed for any weather condition that involved rain.

 

Rey shivered getting wetter and colder by the second. Gritting her teeth, she ran out into the rain, sprinting towards the command shuttle.

 

She typed in the entry codes into the console on the door. Codes she had observed Ren inputting. She prayed she had memorised them correctly. She inhaled sharply. The light on the console turned green and the hatch opened. Sodden, she climbed inside.

Carefully to walk softly, she crept into Rens bedroom. Rey observed his sleeping form. He lay on his side wearing only a pair of tight high waisted trousers, covers twisted around his legs. She watched his chest rise and fall, shaggy hair spread across the pillow. He had strangely feminine lips, she thought. The rest of his facial features were severe, but his lips gave an appearance of vulnerability. She recalled their kiss. He his lips had felt against hers...

 

She had to force herself to focus.

 

She closed her eyes and felt the Force. Felt it surrounding her. She used it to find the edges of Kylo's mind. But instead of pushing, searching. She channeled her own tiredness, willing him to fall into an even deeper sleep. She imagined he had done something similar to her when he had knocked her out on Starkiller base.

 

She sat down on the bed beside him, reaching for his data pad. Her hands felt icy cold.

 

She easily bypassed the security protocols. Looking through the drive she found a translation software similar to that found in protocol droids. She wrote down a message converting it into Binary ll, it read.

 

‘THE FIRST ORDER CAN TRACK YOU THROUGH HYPERSPACE.’

 

She composed another message, longer, about the weak spots on destroyers, how to knock out laser cannons. Where to target. Then she downloaded the coded message onto the tracker. And activated it.

 

The tracker would transmit the message on repeat. Someone in the Resistance would recognise the transmission. At least she hoped they would.

 

She turned off the datapad, still clutching the tracker. Then suddenly, shivering unable to stop herself, she sneezed.

 

Rey watched Ren stir. His eyes open, bleary from sleep. His hand sprung to grab his saber, which he apparently slept with, just as she had become accustomed to doing. Before he had taken it away.

 

Quickly she pushed the tracker behind her back. Shoving it down her underwear.

 

Ren froze as he saw her, his arm stilled, moving away from his weapon. He met her gaze. And for a second smiled.

 

_Come closer._

 

She swore she heard his voice in her mind.

 

There was a fire in his eyes. A hunger. His hand came up to touch her arm. She froze. His hand was strong and warm. He thought… He thought she was here for him.

 

Then he noticed the dampness on his fingers. Her wet clothes, dripping hair. Shaking limbs.

 

“The tent isn't waterproof.” She said flatly. A shivered racked her body, and she coughed.

 

His gaze softened.

 

He rolled over. Gesturing at one side of the bed.

 

“You can sleep here tonight.”

 

Rey was too cold and tired to argue.

 

“ _Fine_.” She said. But his face wore a mask of calm. He was already asleep.

 

She took some sort of black woolen robe out of the closet. Walked to the bathroom, and turned on the shower. She turned the heat up until the water was almost scalding, and steam surrounded her. Rey let the water run over her body, over the lightsaber burn, over her aching muscles. Her greasy hair. Stood there until she could stand no more. Then she wrapped herself in the robe and lay down next to Kylo Ren.

 

He was solid beside her. A reassuring warmth. She could sense the Force around him both dark and light. She focused on the light, letting it's familiar warmth and electricity fill her. Listened to Rens even breaths. Her damp head settled into the pillow. For once, she slept peacefully.

 

When she awoke Ren was staring at her, surveying her. Still on the bed next to her. He was still wearing no shirt. She met his eyes, of flicker of fear running through her body. And excitement.

 

She feigned annoyance, fixing her face into a scowl. A smirk appeared on Ren's face. His eyes met hers.

 

They gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Rey trapped beneath the dark intensity of his stare. Finally he stood up and left, allowing her to get dressed.

 

“I sense the fear in you.” She heard his voice in her mind. “Still.”

 

Rey shook off the feeling of unease, pulling on a pair of oversized clothes. _Rens_.

 

“We’re going to be doing something different today.” Ren said over breakfast. He stared at her. There was something unnerving about his gaze. The intensity behind it.

 

No run? Rey felt herself silently rejoice.

 

Ren cleared his throat. “I think you are ready.” He said.

 

“For what.”

 

“To let old things die.” He said.

 

Rey looked at him, confused.

 

“Tell me who are you? Rey the scavenger and Rey the Jedi. You cannot be both.’

 

“I'm not a Jedi.” She said softly. “There are no more Jedi, only Luke.”

 

“Well what are you then?.” He said scrutinising her.

 

“I’m Rey, and I am strong with the Force.”

 

“Yet the past holds you back. Instead of using the Force to achieve something, make yourself strong, even to help your low life friends in the Resistance, you hide. Trapped by memory. All you do is obsess about your parents. You are stuck, yearning for shadows. Forget the scavenger. Let the past die. It’s holding you back”

 

Ren removed a glove.

 

She froze, knowing what he was about to do.

 

His hands moved to clutch the sides of her face.

 

Rey began to scream.

 

* * *

 

 

 _The girl is young, barely older than a youngling, playing in the dirt. No one touches her or claims her. Above her two moons hang in the sky. Full and crescent. Behind her is a Cantina. Inside are her parents, gambling and drinking._ _As the night continues, the girl can no longer stay awake. At some point her eyes close and her body goes limp. Passers-by see her tiny form, a shadow of a child, sleeping against a grimy wall. Abandoned. Alone._

 

 _During the day she works, helping her parents. Her parents deal in junk. She knows a lot about junk. About machines._ _Her parents have taught her to read, but only so that she can scan the blueprints of old imperial ships, see if the parts scavengers bring are worth anything. Two hours of teaching software on a datapad a day._ _When it comes to junk, she is a bit of a prodigy. She knows every part, what model of ship it belongs to, it's relative worth. She chatters away to old astro-droids, having picked up their language of beeps, with unthinkable ease._ _Her parents see her talent, her usefulness. Like everything, they regard her, only as a means to more money. Money to spend on dice and drink. Not as the child she is. They hug her, kiss her, praise her, but only when she is working. Earning profit._

 

_Sometimes they visit wealthier planets, paying the landing permits, knowing there will be a bigger pay off. They steal things. Ground speeders, and protocol droids. Smaller robots, shiny and new. She acts as a distraction. Playing a lost child, looking for her parents. Acting is not hard, because in some ways that is what she really is. She cries and blubbers, small and innocent. While her parents make off with the goods. Their swindling is so effective that people begin to take notice. Gangsters. New republic police. They are wanted criminals in twelve systems._

 

_The girl knows what she does is wrong. But she loves her parents. Wants to please them. To be worthy._

 

 _For a while, life is good. Her parents have enough money, enough money to drink every night and even to buy dolls for the girl. They stay on the Outer Rim, making good profits buying from scavengers and paying them in rations or a few measly coins._ _Then they get caught out. Her parents. Swindled by a junk boss. Like those they have swindled so many times before. They gamble on a pod race, one they have overheard someone saying is fixed. They lose. End up owing a Crolute a fortunate. A rival junk dealer who orchestrated the whole thing. Who made sure her parents overheard someone saying the pod race was fixed. Knew their weakness for gambling, high stakes wagers. Knew they liked to take risks._

 

_The girl's parents do not have the money to pay the junk boss. They wagered too much. He takes everything they own, apart from their spacecraft, too battered to really be worth much. The girls spends a lot of time mending it, only she knows how to keep it running. The girl watches her parents implode. From the hunger and forced sobriety. There is no money. they steal. Life somehow manages to become worse._

 

 _A few months later they sell her to the same junk boss, Unkar Plutt. She has become a burden, too expensive to clothe and feed. The girl doesn't what's happening. She screams for her parents, screams 'no’ and  ‘don't leave me’. She cries and cries, heart breaking as she watches their ship take off into the sky._ _But despite their abandonment, the girl tells herself that one day they will be back. It becomes a mantra repeated over and over in her head._

 

_The junk boss grabs her hand roughly._

 

_“Move little girl.” he orders._

 

Suddenly Kylo feels himself being pushed back, so powerfully that his claws left her mind.

 

“You shouldn't know these things about me.” Rey choked, tears running down her face. Her eyes glistened. “It’s not your right.”

 

But regardless, he continued to push.

 

“You didn't know them yourself. You pushed them so far back in your mind, you forgot everything, your parents, their cruelty.”

 

“Maybe it's better to forget.” Rey said. She was shaking, but still defiant. “So, i’m not miserable like you. Obsessed with who your parents are, your legacy. Bitter from every terrible thing that has happened to you.”

 

Kylo listened to her insults. Maybe he was too preoccupied with himself. But the fight had gone out of her words. The girl. Rey. Consumed by sadness and shock. He found his way back into her mind. And Rey submitted, seemingly no longer caring what he saw. Tired of fighting him.

 

 _The girls adapts to her new life. Her skin once pale, becomes golden, bronzed. Once she bought junk from scavengers alongside her parents. Now she is one. Lowest of the low._ _At first Unkar Plutt feeds her, berates her when she doesn't find anything scavengable. Her body hurts from climbing wrecks, from carrying parts. Parts of imperial walkers, star destroyers, old engines. She grows wiry. Hunger becomes a constant companion. She works, thinking only about her next meal._ _Every night she scratches a mark in the wall. They become numerous, beyond counting. At some point she begins selling to Unkar Plutt. It is a better deal then him simply feeding her. Sometimes she goes hungry. Sometimes she has extra portions. She trades them for new shoes, clothes, as she grows out of her old ones._

 

 _At night she trains with a staff, learning to protect herself from thieves. Often she knows people are going to try to rob her before they try to. She wonders how_. _But she does not dwell on it. Other, more important things occupy her mind. Food and the locations of salvageable junk._

_When she is twelve she hears about a wreckage in the desert._ _A B-class transporter, a  sparrowhawk. An old model from before the Empire, ancient and rusted. Two bodies inside._ _The other scavengers complain about how there is nothing to salvage. Complain about how all the parts are faulty._

 

_“It’s a miracle it flew for so long.” One of them says._

 

_The girl remembers her parents ship. Also a B-class. But she tells herself it is a coincidence. Her parents are still out there. One day they will come back for her._

 

_Over the years she transforms from child to woman. As she grows up, she watches the other scavengers. They all look worn out, prematurely old. She watches the light fade from their eyes. This work it will take everything from her, she realises. Even her soul._

 

_A decade later the girl still dreams about her parents, but she knows, somewhere inside of herself that they are not coming._

 

“STOP.” Rey screamed.

 

Kylo's hands, gripping her face began to burn.  He doubted she consciously knew what she was doing. That she was hurting him. He pulled away from her, dropping his arms.

 

He looked at Rey. Her eyes were red. Red from crying. She looked broken.

 

Without him there to hold her, she fell on her knees. Crying.

 

“My parents.” She sobbed.

 

He looked at her confused. “You're grieving for _them_! Your parents? Dirty junk dealers. They _sold_ you for drinking money. _Used you_.”

 

Rey didn't respond. Simply continued to sob.

 

An hour passed before she spoke.

 

“I _loved_ them.”

 

“They sold you, without a thought!” He argued, growling at her.

 

“Yes, but I still loved them. You cannot not love your parents. You loved Han Solo even when you killed him. You still love him. Even if he hurt you.”

 

“ _No_.”

 

But somewhere inside he knew it was true. He was weak.

 

Her eyes fixed upon his.

 

“Well, I guess now you know. I’m _no one_." She spat. "No parents. No future. Me being here, it’s all a mistake. I should have never touched a lightsaber in my life.” Her head was bowed. Eyes spilling silent tears.

 

_She was wrong._

 

“I already knew.” Kylo said softly. “I saw it when I touched you, through the Force. Not in this much detail, but _I knew_. You are no one _._  You have no part in this story. You come from nothing. You are _nothing_."

 

A sob escaped from Rey's mouth. She stared up at him, consumed by sorrow. And _hate_. But then he continued. For once admitting the truth.

 

"But _not to me_. You matter to me."

 

He kissed her. He couldn't help himself. But she didn't kiss him back, just sat there limp. He broke away from her lips a little wounded, instead brushing the hair back from her face. Resignedly kissing her forehead instead.

 

“You know what you need to do.” He said to her. “It’s time to let old things die. Your past. Let it die. _Kill it_. It’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

 

She didn't fight. But pulled herself up, closing her eyes. Taking the darkness and anger out of those memories. Her fear of being alone. Of abandonment. Using the Force to heal her broken mind.

 

He helped her. Took the pain out of those memories. Let them fade into insignificance.

 

She closed off that part of herself. Then exhausted passed out.

 

She fell asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't advise invading someones thoughts by force. But I uh, wanted to explore Rey's past. #sorrynotsorry


	9. D'Qar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A Finn chapter? What, WAIT... I didn't sign up for this!" Reader thinks, feeling cheated. "Where is the sexy Reylo action? Damn this!"

 

Finn was sleeping when he felt the tracker beside him burst into life. Vibrating a pattern of beeps. He wore it on his wrist as close to his bare skin as he could. A reminder of her.  _ Rey _ .

 

_ He missed her.  _

 

It had been a while since he had woken. Strange bags of fluid attached to his body. Leaking. At the Resistance base. On D’Qar.

 

He still felt like he didn't belong. But now, people treated him like a hero. One of the heroes that had helped destroy Starkiller Base. He had only wanted to save Rey. He had little else to fight for. He hated the First Order. But it was too big to bring down. The Resistance didn't have enough resources. Yet a part of him believed in them. Believed the Resistance would be victorious.

 

The stormtrooper who had defected the First Order, they whispered. A stormtrooper with a soul. If a stormtrooper could fight the First Order, and leave alive and victorious, so could they.

 

_ He wanted to tell them to run. _

 

He looked at the tracker. Held it to his heart. 

 

“Rey.” He whispered. She was coming home.

 

_ She was his home _ . Neither of them had anywhere they could really call theirs. The stormtrooper and the scavenger. Perhaps it was not coincidence that they met. Perhaps it was meant to be.

 

They had discovered so much  _ together _ . Fought for each other. 

 

Kylo Ren would have killed him if she hadn't stepped in to save him.

 

Fearless Rey. But inside her, a grain of vulnerability. They had both allied themselves to the Resistance, but maybe, like him, Rey wasn't ready for a war.

 

She had sent the Resistance the occasional message. Saying her training was going well.  But when analysed, despite sophisticated encryption, the origin of the messages, the location, was not Ahch To. She had left months ago.

 

Instead the messages were transmitted from Junk planets, run by Hutts and other slimy gangsters, trading outposts on the Outer Rim.

 

Rey was running, and it was not like her to run.

 

Something had gone wrong. Finn was filled with unease, concern. General Organa however, had told him to be patient.

 

_ She isn't ready _ . She had said.  _ For the destiny the Force has chosen for her. But in the long years of my life, I’ve learned that you can’t run forever. Destiny is a strange thing _ .

 

The General was right. Finn had tried to run once. But running wasn't the answer. And in Rey he had found something worth fighting for.

 

Yet in many ways he hardly knew her.

 

Finn stared at the tracker in his palm. He curled his hand into in fist. He walked out of his cramped quarters into the mess hall.

 

Poe, was sitting there, still in his orange jumpsuit he wore when flying. Talking with some other pilots.

 

“So I meant to blend in, but the only ship I could requisition was this flashy silver number. From Coruscant…”

 

The men laugh and drink.

 

“So  _ of course _ they shoot me down. It's Tatooine after all, what do you expect. I crash land right outside a syndicate hideout. And suddenly I have the Hutts on my tail and I’m surrounded by a bunch a Weequays and a Gand bounty hunter. No blaster. First Orders got a big price on my head.”

 

The men listen intently, making the occasional good hearted jibe.

 

“For the best pilot in the Resistance, you seem to crash land an awful lot.” The pilot next to him says clapping a hand on his shoulder.”

 

“Only in places, where there are beautiful women.” Poe smiles winking.

 

“Beautiful women?”

 

“How do you think I escaped from that Gand bounty hunter. No women can resist these charms.” He says jovially. Preening.

 

Then Poe’s face contorts into one of exaggerated concern.

 

“At least I think she was a woman.” His eyebrows knit together. “Hard to tell with that species.”

 

The men around him burst into laughter, assaulting him with friendly punches. There is something about Poe, a likeableness, that is rare for a person to possess. And beneath it, a kinetic intensity. A devotion. The Resistance, his everything.

 

Just then Poe noticed Finn, turning away from his friends and acknowledging him with a grin.

 

“Finn! Come join us, have a drink.” He said, voice slurring slightly. But his expression changed  when he sees Finn's expression, the tracker clutched in his hand.

 

“It’s Rey.” Finn whispered.

 

The General looked tired. It was almost midnight, Finn reasoned. Him, and Poe sat in the small conference room, holographic screens and computational equipment, glowing around them, the General facing them. Despite it being night, the General looked perfect as usual, hair braided intricately, clothes immaculate. Analysing the readout from the tracker.

 

_ Clever girl _ . She mutters to herself.

 

“Where is she?” Finn says impulsively. “General Organa, excuse me for the rudeness, but I want to be the one to go and get her.”

 

The General watched him with her kind eyes. Gave him a small smile. “Please call me  _ Leia _ . And I’m sorry Finn, but that will be impossible.”

 

“What do you mean?” He says standing in alarm. Poe has to tug his arm, make him sit down.

 

“Rey didn't send her location. You see, the tracker was only meant to be one way. To transmit our location to Rey, so she could find us. Or in an emergency to be used as a beacon. She could have transmitted coordinates to us, but instead she sent us a message.”

 

“A  _ message _ ?”

 

“It appears Rey rewired the tracker. To transmit a message, encrypted in binary ll. A old rebel code. I recognised it from my youth.”

 

“What does it say?” Poe said, before Finn could ask the same question.

 

“That the First Order, have developed a means of tracking ships through hyperspace. She has also detailed some of the weaknesses in their dreadnoughts, their star destroyers.”

 

Finn could feel himself going pale. If she has access to First Order records…

 

“We need to find her.” He said 

 

The General looked at him. “We can't. The signal is near impossible to trace.” Her hand touched his arm. “But she has given us a strategic advantage. She's finally taking responsibility. She’s growing up. Becoming a valuable asset to the Resistance.” 

 

“A valuable asset.” Finn scoffed. “Don't you see what his means, her encrypting messages, having access to enemy plans? The First Order, they have her. We need to rescue her!”

 

The General considered him calmly.

 

“It would seem that Rey has got mixed up with the First Order. Be we cannot be sure, and any attempt at rescue would be running into a trap. Rey is intelligent, and that is why she encrypted the message. To protect us.” 

 

Poe stood up, marvelling at the screen. “Leia’s right you know.” He said casually. “But look at what she's given us. With this information, we could take out a destroyer.”

 

“Strategic advantage? Taking out a destroyer.” Finn shouted incredulous. “Do either of you care? She's just a girl. And the First Order is dangerous. I know first hand what they are capable of.” 

 

Poe clapped his hand on Finn's shoulder. “I know you care about her.” He said, eyes full of concern. “Rey is strong, I’m sure wherever she, whatever she is doing, she has a plan.”

 

Finn shook his head. 

 

“I’m going to bed.” He said. “I thought you would care more. Both of you.” He left the room, storming out, heart pounding, jittering, worry for Rey but also a strange giddiness. He had stood up to General Organa. He still had issues concerning authority. He began making plans to leave. Audacious ones. Tomorrow he would steal a spacecraft. Find her. Rey.

 

Back in his quarters, Finn slept uneasily.

 

In the morning, Finn filed into the mess, grabbing a bowl of porridge and looking for any food he could possibly steal. He turned around to see the General standing there.

 

General Organa looked pale. “I had a dream about Rey.” 

 

“She's with my son.” She whispered. “I fear for her. She will either save him, or he will destroy her.”

 

Finn, looked at her, confused.

 

“How do you know it was real, your dream?” He asked.

 

“I was never trained in the Force. Unlike my brother. Instead I worked for the rebellion, settled down, had a child. But sometimes I see things, I know things…”

 

Just then, the first explosion shook the base. Finn keeled sideways from the shock. An series of blasts shook the base in quick succession. Outside in orbit sat three destroyers and a fleet of smaller crafts.

 

“It’s  _ them _ .” He mouthed silently.

 

“We have to evacuate the base.” Leia whispered.

 

Finns heart thudded in his chest. 

 

The First Order was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something different as you can tell :) A Finn chapter. This fic loosely follows the events of TLJ with an alternative timeline for Rey. There will be one other non Kylo Rey POV chapter - Raddus. Probably in Poe's POV.


	10. Debate

She was no longer Rey the scavenger. She knew the fact, as soon as she woke. Woke next to Ren, who’d succeed in destroying her.

 

But weirdly she felt better from it. _Stronger_. Like a weight had been lifted.

 

She turned around as he sat up beside her. His eyes were haunted.

 

“You have to understand, that it pained me to hurt you like that.”

 

Rey looked at him, trying to summon a feeling of anger or disgust. To plaster the expression on her face. But she felt nothing.

 

“I feel like a part of me is missing.” She said softly.

 

“Yes.” Ren answered. “Your _fear_. Rage. Insecurity about your abandonment on Jakku. They are gone. They were holding you back. You are finding it difficult to get angry at me, because it is not in your nature. A bitterness had grown in you. From your years on Jakku. I removed it.”

 

Rey was confused. “Isn’t the dark side about channeling your pain, using it to make you stronger?”

 

“No, it is about mastering your emotions, not suppressing them. The Jedi believe any negative emotion is corrupting, that it is better to cut yourself off from them. But it is human to feel. Emotions both positive and negative. The Sith believe in passion. That you should channel all your emotions. Act on feeling. The Force frees you, it breaks your chains.When I went into your mind to erase your fear, I wanted to show you that. That the Force frees you. Not just through endless mediation, forcing yourself to be a calm and flat. No, it is more powerful than that. The Force can give you a new beginning. New opportunities.”

 

“And the First Order is meant to free people?” Rey retorted. “From what I can see all you do is terrorize random civilians, who do not bow to you.”

 

The edge of Kylo's mouth twitched.

 

“Have you ever seen the First Order terrorizing anyone?”

 

“How about destroying a whole system with your Starkiller weapon. The whole of the new Republic.” Rey spat.

 

“I did not agree with Snoke when it came to using Starkiller.” Ren said softly. “But I do believe the Force should be used to acquire power. Those who study the Force are _wise_. By acquiring power, they can make decisions for the greater good of the galaxy.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Like the Empire with their weapons of mass destruction? Destroying whole planets. Alderaan, with the Death Star. Do you call that the _greater_ _good_? I call that genocide.”

 

“Alderaan was filled with corrupt politicians.” Ren hissed. “It was a utilitarian decision. The greatest good for the greatest amount of people. There are a hundred thousand systems in the galaxy. With thousands of habitable planets. One planet, is a drop in an ocean. Insignificant.”

 

Rey looked aghast. “Every life is valuable.” She whispered. And I don't believe in autocracy.”

 

Kylo laughed. A mocking sound. “Even a democracy can be corrupt. The Empire rose in retaliation, to the Jedi Council, that had become corrupt. Hungry for power. More and more they looked to take control from the Senate. They propped up the wealthy, the privileged, kept them rich, rich and happy while ignoring those who were suffering on the outer planets. Unimportant places that held no political sway. Anakin Skywalker become Darth Vader because he saw the system was corrupt, because the Jedi order he had been part of, who were meant to make the galaxy a better place, instead kept it unequal, full of disparity. At least the Empire strove to make everyone live under the same rules.”

 

Rey had never heard Kylo speak that many words at once. Snoke had truly indoctrinated him. “The Emperor was evil.” She whispered. “Even Vader realised it. He turned to the light. Renounced the dark side as he lay dying. Luke told me.”

 

Ren’s face suddenly hardened. “Don't talk about Luke here.” He hissed.

 

“ _Fine_.” She said, eyes burning into his. “But you told me that I needed to leave my past behind. I think you should do the same.”

 

“Ben Solo is gone.” He said. “And the First Order won't make the same mistakes the Empire did.” 

 

Rey studied him, leaned towards him. “ _No_. Ben is still in there. Snoke can take your past, make it insignificant, but not your soul.”

 

He looked at her with amusement. “Monsters have no souls.”

 

Rey shook her head. “You are only what you let him make you. What you did to me, Snoke did something similar to you. But when you went inside my mind you only took my fear, my pain. I think Snoke took your compassion. You have to fight to regain it.” Rey said, pleading with him.

 

A look of confusion flickered over his face. An annoyance, but it was quickly replaced by his practiced scowl.

 

They were both still sitting in his bed. Their faces inches apart.

 

“I have compassion, but only for Scavengers, that are stubborn and belligerent and make my life difficult.” He said silkily.

 

He reached out to cup her face. His thumb brushed her lips roughly. Rey wanted to pull away but she couldn't. She was drawn to him. _Almost irresistibly_.

 

His leaned towards her, eyes still on hers. Then suddenly he descended, kissing her hungrily. His wasn't the kiss he had given her on Jun Tai. This time he wasn't playing. This wasn't a game. His kiss was full of want. She could close her eyes, lose herself in this feeling. But not with Ren. Not with _him_.

 

She thought about Finn. Imagined it was him that made her feel this all consuming heat. Imagined it was his full lips that teased hers. His fingers that crept beneath her shirt brushing her sensitive nipples.

 

Ren recoiled from her.

 

“Don’t ever do that.” He said.

 

“What?” Rey said innocently.

 

“ _Him_ , think of _him_. That traitor FN-2187. I know what it is you really want. And _who_. Don’t tell me you are not attracted by the dark.”

 

Rey kept the image of Finn in her head. Imagined him shirtless, his kind eyes, strong physique. And then Poe, ruggedly handsome. His impulsive lips, skilled hands. Hands of the best pilot in the Resistance. And finally a man Rey had never personally met, only had seen in her own mind. General Hux. She imagined him, uptight and dutiful, unleashing all that hidden rage and passion on her. She wanted to make Ren angry.

 

“Stop.” Ren growled. His face was red.

 

“No.” Rey hissed.

 

Then suddenly he was in her mind. Pushing into her so forcefully, that it caused her pain. The images in her mind were erased and replaced by him. His dark hair, pale skin. The intensity of his burning gaze. All she could feel was him, him. _Kylo Ren_. Touching her and teasing her even though his hands were nowhere near her body.

 

Rey struggled, trying to push him out of her mind, but her defenses were gone. She was dizzy, unable to think, limbs limp with arousal. A growing moisture between her legs. She suppressed a moan. What he was doing to her was so powerful, too powerful. She didn't like it, couldn't stop it. She crossed her legs trying to fight the sensations she felt. That were building slowly. She could feel his touch there between her legs, cold fingers on her stomach. Ice to contrast the fire within her.

 

She looked at him. He was watching her stoically, unmoving. A slight smirk on his lips.

 

He pushed harder into her mind. She fell back on her back. Limp. Sprawled out on his bed. Hair sticking to her sweaty forehead. Only then did he touch her. Tracing a single finger down her jaw, her neck, down her shirt, over her left nipple. Rey gasped. Conscious thought overcome by sensation. A throbbing at the apex of her thighs. His finger continued to travel lower. Suddenly Ren paused at the base of her stomach.

 

“What do you want Rey?” He asked taunting her.

 

She, didn't reply, too overcome, instead grabbing his hand pushing it between her thighs. Grinding into it. Only the thin fabric of her leggings separating his hand from the sensitive area that lay beneath. She bucked her hips. No longer able to stop the moans that escaped from her lips. Ren continued his assault, of which she was now an active participant. She moved against his hand, faster and faster, the friction causing a pressure to build, causing her breath to come in wild gasps.

 

Ren leaned into her, his chest pressing against hers, his lips brushing against her neck. She shivered. His lips were replaced by his tongue, and then suddenly he bit down hard. She screamed and the world fractured around her. Her body shook. Hips jerking, caught in involuntary spasms.

 

Ren removed his hand. “Do you feel the power of the dark side now?”

 

Rey was too broken to speak. She had never felt this way before.

 

Her eyelids flickered up. She gazed at him from beneath the halo of her eyelashes.

 

He was breathing heavily. Eyes wild with desire. Whatever he felt. S _he felt it too_.

 

Suddenly she knew.

 

Rey gasped. “My dreams! It was you. You’ve been in my head this whole time trying to persuade me to desire you, to become your whore.”

 

“Don't tell me you didn't enjoy them.” Ren mocked.

 

Rey blushed.

 

“Bastard” she muttered.

 

“Well at least now you can recognize when someone is attempting to penetrate your mind. I’d say your training is going well.”

 

“Don't tell me this is part of my training.” Rey spat, suddenly angry.

 

“Maybe next time you’ll be able to block me. Or maybe you didn't want to. You were enjoying yourself too much.”

 

“There won't be a next time.” She stormed off, unable to think, or know what to feel.

 

Ren was right, she had enjoyed herself too much. Was this, these feelings, what she had been missing out on? The mystery of sex, of love. She had never wanted any part of it. Hated being approached on Niima outpost. The men there always seemed too opportunistic for her liking. Kylo Ren however was powerful. And Force sensitive. Perhaps she did desire him. But he was a monster.

 

But this was more than just about her. The galaxy took precedence. And Rens involvement in the First Order, was bringing darkness to it. She had to figure out how to stop them, the First Order. Snoke. And somewhere inside her she knew how to. What she needed. Who. And it was not Kylo Ren.

  
_She needed Ben Solo._

 

* * *

 

 

“Tell me about your past.” Rey said.

 

She had been watching him with an unusual interest the past day. But there was something about her. A new rawness. Was he _responsible_ for it?

 

“It’s none of your concern.” He replied.

 

“Well you know mine now, so it’s only fair that you divulge yours. How did you meet Snoke?”

 

He looked at her raising an eyebrow. “Do you believe I _care_ about what is fair. This isn't an exchange.”

 

Rey muttered something that sounded like an expletive, under her breath. Her stomach growled.

 

“I’m hungry.” She said, sounding like a petulant child.

 

She strode into his kitchen, navigating the cramped space, looking for something edible. She found an apple and bit into it.

 

“You forget yourself.”

 

Rey turned to look at him.

 

“You are my guest, and my student. You cannot just take what you want.”

 

She scowled at him. “No that’s what _you_ do.”

 

Kylo studied her. She had been sleeping the past day and night, and had hardly eaten. There were dark circles under her eyes, but she glowed. From the mental and physical tortures he had inflicted on her. Her moans had been delicious.

 

Her proximity annoyed him. She was too much of a temptation.

 

He watched as she ate. The rounded tips of her teeth, tearing the skin of the fruit, devouring the delicate flesh. She tore at it mercilessly. She always ate like it was her last meal. With an edge of elegant unrefinement. A little savage.

 

“A think we should recommense our training. You look well enough.”

 

Rey looked at him. “No more Force lobotomies then.” She said flatly.

 

Ren chose to ignore the comment. “Get ready.” He said to her.

 

They ran to the lake together. Rey now easily kept pace with him. Kylo loved to run, loved the way it wore him out. Sometimes anger and rage and sorrow would rise up in his chest and he would feel lost. Running, fast and hard until he wore himself ragged; was the only way to eliminate the feeling of dread, of being out of control, from the pit of his stomach.

When they got to the overhang. He stopped regarding her. Rey looked at him.

 

“Jump.” he said.

 

This time she let herself plummet. He did not have to push her off the ledge using the Force.  She did not resist him. Her fear had disappeared. His intrusion into her mind had worked well.

 

He lept in after her.

 

She was still a terrible swimmer, but her eyes were no longer filled with panic as she navigated her way through the water.

 

“What did you do to me?” She said questioningly, with a mixture of nervousness and awe.

 

“I took away your fear.”

 

Rey sighed. “And the emotions connected to my past. But I still can't decide who I am without them.”

 

“You are free.” He told her.

 

Rey held out her hands. Floating easily now. She gestured to her wrists. He could see the elegant blue veins patterning her skin.

 

“Free? Even though you see no bindings here I am a slave. Slave to your whims and your temper and your manipulation.”

 

Kylo grabbed the wrists she presented. In the water she was weightless. He pulled her towards him, arms colliding with his bare chest.

 

“Do you want me to take you to Hutt space. Put a collar around your neck, make you dress in skimpy clothes, serve some disgusting creature. Or implant an explosive chip in your flesh, like those gangsters do with _their_ property. Maybe then you will understand what it is like to be a slave.” He hissed, looking at her impertinent face.

 

Rey looked at him, face full of rage. He expected her to back down, but instead she snarled pulling her wrists free. She lifted her hand and struck him. Hard. Across the face. The pain an echo of the scar she had inflicted there.

 

“I’ve been a slave all my life.” She spat. “First to my parents, then to Unkar Plutt. You think I scavenged for fun? There may have not been a collar around my neck, but when one man has a monopoly on all the food in the western reaches of a planet, what are you meant to do. And now I may not wear a collar. But I am not free. You destroyed my speeder. Pursued me across a dozen systems. Have taken my autonomy. Don't try to play the benevolent captor. I am a slave in all but the word.”

 

“You hate me.” He said stupidly.

 

“Yes! I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to me.” Tears appeared in her eyes. "It’s like you've gone into my mind and taken away everything that makes me myself. And yesterday the way you made me feel things in my body…” Rey shivered.

 

“But you enjoyed it…”

 

“It was _wrong_.” Rey shouted.

 

“But you _denied_ me. Played with my emotions.” Kylo whispered.

 

“So you forced yourself into my head? You always have to _win_ don’t you." Rey said , bitterness in her tone. "Conquer and ravage. Maybe I didn’t want to be kissed by Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren who hurt my friends. Kylo Ren who blackmailed me into being his apprentice.”

 

Kylo looked up at her, her small frame, limbs trembling with anger. Darkness in her doe eyes. He felt a pang of rejection, a empty void in his chest. “Fine.” He said. “But you cannot deny your emotions.” He leaned in towards feeling the welcoming heat of the body. Brushing his lips against her neck. Against the spot beneath the curve of her ear. A place he where he knew she was sensitive. He shivered at the feeling of her skin beneath his lips.

 

And then suddenly he felt himself being catapulted in the air, thrown backwards, his body making a resounding splash in the water. He marvelled at how easily Rey could manipulate the Force when angry.

 

“You really _are_ delusional.” Rey spat, breathless.“You are always saying that you can take what you want. But you are wrong. What you want from me must be willing given.”

 

Love? Affection, did she think that was what he wanted from her.He laughed at the absurdity of the idea. No, he wanted her fire, her passion.

 

_We’ll see._

 

He instructed her to swim again, however Rey didn’t seem to be in the mood to follow his instruction. It was as if she was being purposefully being terrible. Tearing through the water like a Wapa caught in an avalanche, splashing everywhere. Kylo felt hurt, at her disobedience and her admission that she was his slave. He felt the anger coiled deep in the fight of his stomach. His muscles ached, yearning for violence.

 

“So you call yourself my slave?” He said to her, dejected and melancholy. Do you think the Resistance would give you anymore freedom, that you are anything more than a pawn to them.”

 

"The Resistance gave me a choice. They didn't Force me to become part of their fight. I could have left if I wanted to.”

 

“You did leave little scavenger.” He said softly, challenging her. “If you would have stayed with Luke or gone to the Resistance, I would have never found you.”

 

“ _I was afraid_.” She said softly. He felt the shame roiling off her in waves.

 

_“Afraid?”_

 

Rey sighed. “When I was with Luke, there was a cave, a _dark_ place. I was drawn there. Below... there was a dark energy. It asked me what I wanted. I asked about my parents.” Rey paused.

 

“And…”

 

“It showed me myself. Duplicates of myself, repeating on and on, forever. _Alone_. I could feel the darkness at the heart of my soul, my loneliness. The cave, that dark place, drew it out. Like smoke. That is why I ran.”

 

“So, it showed you the truth.” Kylo said softly. “The _truth_ of your existence. Your loneliness. The dark side calls to you.”

 

“Yes. And I wasn't ready for the truth. Now I am. I’m not running anymore. But neither am I prepared to be your slave.”

 

“You are my student not my slave.”

 

“So teach me something.”

 

“Not in the water.” Kylo said to her. They both swam for the shore. Though Rey took longer with her unaccomplished stroke.

 

Once they reached the shore Kylo stood opposite her, bare feet planted in the sand. He reached for his belt. Unhooked the lightsaber that hung there. He tossed it to Rey.

 

She caught it easily.

 

“I told you I would return it.” He said, pausing.“I trust you won't try and murder me, at least not without a fight.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

Because my training is effective. And you can now recognise that. That the Sith and the dark side are not just some strange cult, but a different school of thought from the Jedi. And I know you won't strike me when my back is turned. Because you are a creature of principle. You value honour.”

 

“True, but where the Sith is concerned, I know little.” She admitted.

 

“I will tell you more about them.” He told her. “In due course.”

 

Rey nodded. Gripping the saber.

 

“Now show me how you fight, without fear. But remember fearlessness can make you rash.” He drew his saber. “If you hate me so. _Show it_. To be allied with the dark side is to conquer. Yourself, then the galaxy. You must be a Force, one that is all consuming.”

 

“I don't want to ally myself with the dark side.” Rey scowled.

 

“Yet when a saber is in your hand, you are merciless. You fight like the greatest Sith.” Kylo said truthfully.

 

Rey looked at him, stoically, but he could read the conflict in her face. One side of her was all rage and passion, anger and hate. But the piousness Luke had ingrained into her with his teachings still remained. Still an acolyte.

 

“Come on Rey. _Fight_. But it will not be clean. This is no Jedi affair.”

 

Then he grabbed her waist and pulled her  towards him. He kissed her greedily, lips and teeth and tongue, consuming, devouring, until there was no air left in his lungs. He looked at Rey, as he drew back, starving for air. He could see the heat rising in her cheeks.

 

“You hate me, yet your body burns for me.” He whispered in his ear.

 

Rey careened backwards, freeing herself from his embrace. She drew her saber.

 

“Monster.” She hissed.

 

_Her passion. He knew how to draw it out._

 

She moved to strike him, but he blocked her with his own saber and then kicked her hard in the groin, between her legs. Not as effective as if she were to be a man, but still painful. She doubled over.

 

“You need to accept _reality._ Your Resistance. They are terrorists and liars. Throwbacks that dream of an old world, that exists no more. The time of the Republic, the Jedi. But it is over now. The Resistance likes to paint Force users as heroes. As if being strong with the Force means you are held by some sort of higher standard. That it is your responsibility to become a Jedi, fight against the dark. But in truth. It means nothing. There are many gifted by the Force, fortune tellers, gangsters, politicians, slaves. Many aren't even aware of their gift. They are neither good or bad, simply human.

And neither were the Jedi perfect. They were petty, and self absorbed just like all of man. Corrupt bureaucrats that couldn't even govern themselves. How _easily_ they fell.”

 

“The Jedi promoted peace. _The balance_.”

 

“There is never _balance_. And the Jedi were a cult. Do you think it is ethical, to recruit younglings. To train them to repress their true nature. To become celibate obedient monks?”

 

Rey doubled back. Got up onto her feet. Then with incredible speed struck him in the side. He cried out involuntarily from the pain.

 

“Well, the Jedi is over. You've already succeeded in your mission.” She hissed. “Luke's doesn't want even any part in this fight and yet you pursue him like a dog.”

 

She swung at him again. Kylo rolled to avoid her saber.

 

“My fight with Luke is _personal_.”

 

Rey ignored him continuing to speak. “And what do you know of the world? You’ve lived a life of privilege. And believe it or not I didn't join the Resistance because I have political motives, or because I am a true believer in the Jedi. I did it for the people on those forgotten planets, with no hope. Who are oppressed by gangsters, slaves in places where the First Order is sensible enough not to intervene. I joined for peace. War tears the galaxy apart, causing poverty and destruction in its midst. We need democracy and justice. Not just to seek power. To take and take. To join the Resistance, it was an act of love, of selflessness.” Rey whispered those final words, a small smile on her face. He slashed at her arm, but she whirled, meeting him. He could feel the static, the deadly buzz of their light weapons.

 

Their sabers crashed and collided. A wild and furious dance.

 

“The Resistance only lengthens a futile conflict. They throw away lives, like gamblers on Canto Bight throw any money. And what do _you_ know of love? You’re an orphan, starved of affection.”

 

“More than you.” Rey muttered. Then swang the saber towards him again. A war cry echoing from her lips.

 

He had wanted to fight her. He still wanted to fight her. But he also wanted to tease those lips. Yet she denied him.The light in her. He gritted his teeth together. He had to train her. He had told himself he would do so. Train her until she bested him. It was the Sith way. His side stung, singing with pain, but he ignored it. There would be injury, further pain, but he didn't mind, didn't care. Liked the hurt. And hurting people. A sadist and a masochist. A broken deviant creature.

 

He feinted a move and then thrusted, burning a welt into her arm. Rey cried out in pain. He did not fight with honour. Fortune did not favour the honourable, but those who were schemers, and villains. Snoke had taught him that.

 

He had provoked her. Now _too_ she cheated, spinning and hooking her foot around his as he moved to block her attack, tripping his legs from under him. He fell to the ground. Air being knocked out of his lungs. He watched her towering above him. Rey. She held her saber to his throat and then replaced it with her foot. She burned four cuts into his skin, in quick succession, two on either arm.”

 

“This one is for hurting Finn.” She said. “And this one for capturing me. And for ruining my speeder.”

 

She pressed the hilt into the final cut. “And this one is for Han Solo.” She whispered.

 

He clenched his teeth trying not to scream.

 

“I _pity_ you.” she said extinguishing her lightsaber. “I could kill you now, but that's what you want me to do, to end your pitiful existence. I saw it in your mind. You yearn to die. You seek oblivion.”

 

True. But first he would conquer the world. _And her_. As she leaned over him he took his chance. Grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling her down. She fell upon him and he used the momentum to roll over, so suddenly he was on top of her. Pinning her wrists to the ground.

 

“So, there _is_ darkness within you.” He laughed. “I felt it. You enjoyed hurting me. Such passion, such power. If only you didn't hold back…”

 

Rey writhed beneath him trying to free herself. His arms stung. All his weight was upon her and he could feel her body rubbing against his. The friction of her struggling, mixed with the pain of his injuries, was a sensation so consuming, so exquisite, that could feel himself getting hard. He gripped onto her wrists harder. Unable to stop himself he pressed into her, harder. Feeling the ridge of her pelvic bone.

 

Rey looked at him with both amusement and disgust. She had noticed. Of course, how could she not? He felt like stone. His erection pressing into her stomach. But instead of stopping, she struggled more, making him gasp, increasing his discomfort. In fact it was as if now she was _purposely_ grinding against him. A challenge. A taunt. She met his eyes. He moved his head to place his lips on her neck, sucking. Teeth grazing the delicate skin that lay there.

 

Rey turned to meet his lips, and kissed him voraciously. She freed her left wrist from his grasp, and it travelled down, down the planes of his chest. Hovered at his waist band. _Pausing_. Kylo growled. Her fingers strayed beneath, fingers brushing the tip of his erection. He shuddered. His heart pounded in his chest. Cock twitching involuntarily. A feeling like electricity travelled through his body. Overcome with lust he loosened his grip. And then she sprung. Liberating her lightsaber from his belt, pointing it at his chest.

 

He watched her, grasping the saber, passively. He knew he should register more fear but right in that moment he simply felt frustrated, overcome by arousal and desire.

 

“ _Two_ can play at your perverted games.” She said, a smirk on her mouth.

 

He watching her, tilting his chin down, at the hardness in his trousers. Still visible.

 

“At least I finish what I start.” He muttered.

 

He looked at Rey, taking her in. Her expression was fierce. Eyes dark. She had manipulated him. She was learning.

 

“I’m taking the ship.” She hissed.

 

He rolled his eyes. “The controls only respond to my touch.”

 

She raised the saber to his throat. The khyber blade only inches away, humming dangerously.

 

“Then I guess you’re coming with me. _Move_.”

 

He stepped forward, when suddenly a great pain consumed him. He collapsed, onto his knees. Rey's saber grazing his neck. He felt warm blood drip down his throat.

 

Rey dropped her weapon. Eyes full of concern.

 

She cared, he realised. She cared for him. If he lived or died. His last lucid thought.

 

Kylo fell to the floor. Head bursting with pain. He screamed and screamed, thoughts disconnected, hearing the screams of terror as if they were distant tortured things, not sounds, emitting from his own body. His vision was a haze of red.

 

Snoke was calling him. And he was angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut. Smut and violence. I don't know why I wrote this.


	11. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke straight up sucks guys. Also Matt makes an appearance.

“ _Please_.” He whispered.

 

Kylo Ren was on his knees. Whimpering, crawling towards the command shuttle. Tears ran down his face, silent tears of pain, and a trickle of blood flowed from one ear.

 

Rey had never met Snoke, only heard whispers of the Supreme Leader of the First Order. But now, in this moment, she understood his power.

 

She looked at Ren, usually dark and tall and impassive, reduced to this broken creature. She could leave him, _run_. But something stopped her.

 

 _Sentiment?_ No, she was better than this, than him. That is why she stayed. She cared, but it was not a weakness, to care. To love.

 

She leaned down, over him and then lifted the man up, putting his arm over her shoulder, then dragged. Pulled his shaking body with all her strength, uphill, all the way back until she reached the ramp of the command shuttle. She collapsed panting.

 

Ren coughed and climbed inside, on his hands and knees. Still gasping, Rey followed him. Into the cockpit of the command shuttle, his hand searching, clawing to answer Snoke's transmission.

 

Rey followed him gasping for breath.

 

Ren turned to her. Trembling. “Don’t let him see you.” He choked. He answered the transmission.

 

Rey slinked into the corner. Quietly observing the hologram of Snoke. She inhaled sharply as she gazed upon his face.

 

It was mutilated, deformed. Unsymmetrical. Chunks missing. Features strange, but human enough that she could not tell if this creature was in fact human or another species. His voice was cold when he spoke.

 

“You took your time answering me boy.”

 

Ren shook, falling on his knees. He looked better than he had minute ago, but pain was still etched upon his face.

 

“I apologise. I was indisposed.” He said weakly.

 

“With the girl?” Snoke drawled.

 

Kylo’s eyes widened. But he remained silent. Head bowed.

 

“Yes I know you have her, Ren. General Hux was kind enough to inform me. Now I understand why you have been missing for weeks, why your mission has been taking such a long while. She is obviously proving a distraction to you. In more ways than one.” Snoke said mockingly.

 

_What was he implying?_

 

“The girl is injured. The tracker I placed on her ship hacked into the mainframe of her speeder, causing it to crash land. She is still recovering.” Ren said. A lie. Wrapped up in the truth.

 

Snoke’s mouth curled into what looked like a smile. “One of our new inventions.” He said. The smile then turned into a look of anger, of malice.

 

“Don't think you can _lie_ to me Ren. I can sense all your thoughts, know you better than I know myself. You and the scavenger girl are connected.  Through you I can sense her life Force. She is strong. _Well._ Yet you have not delivered her to me.”

 

“Supreme Leader...” Rey watched in horror as his face contorted and he screamed clutching at his skull.

 

“Remember what happens when you disobey me.”

 

Ren let out a choked sound and Rey realised how Snoke controlled him. Pain, not physical scars but mental.

 

“Bring her to me.”

 

“I can't.” Kylo whispered.

 

“You dare you challenge me. Disobey an order from the Supreme Leader?” Kylo's back stiffened.

 

“I am training her. She is strong with the dark side. She will come when ready.”

 

“You _bargain_ with the Scavenger? Do you forget yourself so easily, she is your prisoner, not your friend. A traitor. Resistance scum.”

 

“She could be useful to the First Order. But not if we imprison her, torture her. The Resistance will retaliate.” He said softly. Rey stiffened at the mention of torture.

 

“The Resistance had grown in this year.” Snoke said. “Meanwhile the First Order have regrouped. And recently, we intercepted a message suggesting that the Resistance have acquired some tactical information.  Concerning our dreadnoughts. I suspect there is a mole in the First Order. It will be difficult to identify the individual even with systematic interrogations due to the size of the organization. Therefore, I am accelerating our plans. We will attack the base. Catch them unprepared. I need you back, Ren. To orchestrate the mission, interrogate captives. Return with the girl.”

 

Ren took a deep breath. “I will return. But I can't take her. She has a right to make her own decision.”

 

Snoke’s eyes narrowed, his malformed lips curving into a mocking smirk. “I thought you wanted to be Vader, but instead I find a snivelling boy.  You will never be great Ren. When we first met, I sensed power in you. Great strength. I saw war. It seems I was wrong, if you are so easily manipulated by the first female you come across.”

 

There was anger in Kylo’s eyes. ““You are my master. I pledged my life to you. But there are some things I cannot do.”

 

Snoke laughed. “You are soft boy. I see that. I see everything. Your aggression, your rage. Your lack of control. You must decide where your loyalties lie.”

 

“With the First Order.” Kylo Ren was looking intently at Snoke. A challenge. Saying his loyalties lay with the organisation, not his master.

 

Snoke began to laugh hysterically. “You forget I have the power of foresight. That girl will betray you. And you her in turn. She will be the downfall of the First Order. I have seen it.”

 

“No.”

 

Ren turned to protest. But Snoke had had enough of this conversation. “Be careful who you challenge. I expect to see you soon, with the girl in tow, otherwise you may begin to understand how expendable you truly are.”

 

Kylo again began to gasp, falling to the floor as if having a seizure. He writhed and spasmed looking like a fish deprived of water. Rey could not watch it anymore. She rushed out to help him.

 

She reached down to touch his face. And then looked up, at the transmission that was still ongoing.

 

Snoke’s hologram sat before her. The Supreme Leader of the First Order regarded her with a cold indifference. And something else. Curiosity. Their eyes met. His gaze was unwavering. Rey suddenly felt trapped.

 

“Leave him be.” She hissed.

 

“Such anger. Such ...passion.” He whispered, face curving into a smile. “I can see why Ren likes you.”

 

She was angry. Angry at this creature, at what he had made of Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. Of how he tortured him. So angry that for once in her life she could not control it. She could feel the darkness inside her, straining overflowing, looking to me free. Her fingers tingled. Suddenly lightning crackled from them. Her hands like live wires. Causing the transmitter to short circuit. All the electronics. The room plunged into darkness.

 

Rey stood in the dark hyperventilating, as the reserve power came on. Illuminating the command shuttle. She ran over to Kylo Ren. His body still on the floor, the occasional tremor, shaking him.

 

“Ben.” She whispered.

 

She sat beside him, concentrating. She found her way inside his mind. With the Force bond it was easy, and pushed again Snoke's presence there. There in his mind she could feel his pain, it wracked her body. A horrible  pain, not clean like a flesh wound, but the pain of infection, decay. Magnified. She gritted her teeth. Pushing away Snoke's influence. A phantom presence pushed back. As if testing her strength. She concentrated harder. Slowly it abated.

 

Ren moaned. Free of the pain, he lapsed into unconsciousness.

 

She dragged him to his bed. Somehow managed to lift him up onto it. His training had made her strong. Wiped the sweat from his clammy forehead. He was hot, feverish. Rey removed his damp shirt. Her hands roamed, finding the wounds she had given him, when they had fought, before Snoke had called Ren. She traced their outlines, two on each arm. Angry welts. Below them, lay older scars.

 

She had been angry. Ren was her enemy. He had destroyed her ship, held her against his will. But how many of his actions, were forced by Snoke's hand? She couldn't imagine what the Supreme Leader had done to him. What he still was doing.

 

She had hurt him, when they fought. Had felt the darkness welling up inside her. That was what he wanted, she realised, for her to lose herself, choose violence and act on emotion.

 

And _with_ Snoke, what had she done? Frying the com unit. She had never used the Force in such a way, pure energy crackling from her fingertips, her whole body thrumming with electricity. She gazed her hands, transfixed. It had felt wrong, the sensations, all her fear and rage transforming into pure Force energy. Like the lightning she had projected from her fingers had ripped a part of her soul out of her body.

 

Beside her Kylo stirred. He reached over, grabbing her hand.

 

“You called me Ben.” He whispered.

 

“Yes.” She replied. “That's your name, isn't it?” She stroked the palm of his hand with her thumb. “Ben Solo is still in there. Otherwise you would have given me to Snoke already. But instead, you defied him.”

 

Ren’s expression was grim. “And now I’m a dead man walking. Snoke will kill me if I do not bring you to him. His prize. He will find a way to do it. Some bounty hunter, or he will use that slimy sycophant Hux. He detests me. Is always trying to upstage me. He will take pleasure in organising my murder.”

 

“Then don't go back.” Rey whispered. “Come to the Resistance, you can start anew.”

 

Ren pulled his hand from hers. “No. It's not that simple. I can't ally myself with the Resistance. Not after everything. What Luke did. My nature is darkness, it will always be that way. You believe in the Jedi, the light, but morality is an illusion. The Force is impartial, it does not favour either good and bad. But I realise I can’t make you see things from my perspective. And my master is not someone who can be disobeyed. I won't hide from him like a coward, Rey. I can't.”

 

“How can you still call _him_ Master, after what he has done to you?” Rey whispered, both shocked and repulsed.

 

“I pledged my life to him. When I first met him. I cannot be free until one of us dies. When I first met Snoke, I thought him wise, a visionary. Now I see differently. He is corrupted by power. But this is the path I chose. I can't go back to who I once was Rey. Tomorrow I’ll drop you off on a planet, find you a transport. You will be free of me.”

 

Rey nodded, confused when a phantom sadness filled her.

 

“Thank you.” She said softly.

 

Kylo yawned. He looked terrible still, a mixture of pain and shock. She got up, looking through the medical supplies Ren had purchased on Jun Tai. She found some Bacta bandages. When she returned, Ren was dozing, half asleep. Gently as she could, she cleaned the lightsaber burns on his arms and dressed them. Her fingers lingering too long on his skin. She had never seen this side of him before. The one of vulnerability. A lost boy, angry at the world.

 

“Ben?” She said softly.

 

His eyes flickered open. “Yes.”

 

“I’m curious.” She said, unable to leave the question unanswered. “How does he do that? Snoke. Make you feel things when he's not there.” She lowered her voice.

 

“Do you think it was _him_ , who formed the Force bond between us.” She couldn't help feeling anxious.

 

Kylo shook his head. _No_.

 

“With Snoke, he bridged our minds when I first began training with him. He was in the same room as me. He went into my mind. The Force bond is different. We can both sense each other. With Snoke it was only one way. I have no knowledge of his thoughts. Plus when I first saw you through the Force, it felt different.”

 

Rey breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I don't think I can deal with the idea of him inside my mind, my thoughts.”

 

Ren reached out to absentmindedly stroke her face. “Don’t worry. You’re safe.” He whispered. His eyes were closed.

 

Rey got into bed next to him. Lying on top of the covers. She moved closer to Ren, until they touched. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. After the day she had, she needed someone to hold. She curled into him, taking in his scent, salt and musk. She never thought she would feel safe this close to Kylo Ren, but in this moment she felt content, at peace. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

 

“Goodnight Ben.” She said.

 

For once, she didn't dream at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo woke up to find Rey sleeping, her limbs entangled with his. He listened to the sound of her soft even breaths. The sensation of her warm body against his was an exquisite discomfort.

 

Today would be the last time he would see her. He had to let her go. It was the _right_ thing to do.

 

For once in his life he would do the right thing.

 

_Yet, he did not want to lose her._

 

He got up. Leaving Rey alone in the bed. Showered. His body hurt, from Rey’s assault with a saber, along with his mind. Snoke knew how to use pain to his advantage. Knew Ren too well. His head ached and a slight tremor still remained in his hands. He examined them, holding them in front of him. Willed the shaking to stop. He clenched his hands into fists. He felt horrible. Fatigued. Tired.

 

Rey was still sleeping when he returned. Unusual. The girl usually slept in short intervals. Lightly. The sleep of someone who lived a life devoid of security. Safety. She slept like prey. He had influenced her dreams once, filling them him images of him. He had wanted her to want him. But also wanted to placate her. Calm her tortured sleep.

 

_He had to forget her._

 

He had trained her, freed her mind from past constraints and responsibilities and guilt. He had wanted her to understand the power of the dark. But he realised she would never embrace it. She could injure, but would never throw the final blow. Never act out of passion  over purpose, morality. There was too much light in her.

 

But yesterday, he had witnessed her conjuring Force lightning from her fingertips. Darkness manifest. Only a Force user of great strength, and great darkness could have done that. He ran his fingers over her hair, revealing a streak. A shock of grey. Using the Force in such a way, it had cost her.

 

She could be _powerful_ , so powerful. But he knew that she didn't share his ambition, his need to conquer. She didn't seek power. Only stability and security, a warm bed at night, enough food to eat. She hadn't had the life he had had. When he had seen her childhood in his mind, he had begun to understand. Her. _Rey_.

 

Dressing in fresh clothes, he went to the cockpit and flew.  Flying up out of the atmosphere, leaving the planet behind. He inputted new coordinates in the navigation system. Coordinates of somewhere urbanised, but not occupied by either the First Order or the Hutts. He warmed up the hyperdrive. Accelerated until the light from the stars become trails and everything was stretched out by the curvature of space. A planet came into view. Bijin Minor, a core planet that managed to emulate the strange exotisicm of the outer rim. But without the poverty.

 

Urbanised enough that he had to ask permission to enter it's airspace. If he were with his usual First Order cohort he would have shot down any anti-aircraft defences making a scene. But not today. He skirted the edge of the atmosphere, finding an old fashioned radio in the cockpit. Rey had fried his more sophisticated com unit. With her strange power. A flirtation with the dark side.

 

“Shuttle C-KY2386 requesting permission to land.” He drawled lazily.

 

He heard static on the other side of the radio.

 

“Halt please. Awaiting approval of your vessel.”. Kylo waited, as long minutes passed with no confirmation.

 

“Is there a problem?” He said, trying to keep his voice even.

 

A crackle on the other side, followed by a voice. “Your request has been received. However we have identified that your vessel is of First Order design. A command ship. Here on Bijin Minor we do not appreciate the First Order meddling in planetary business. Our financial contributions to your regime are supposed to guarantee our freedom here.”

 

“I am not here on First Order business.” Kylo said with annoyance.

 

Silence on the receiving end, then a command. “State your purpose of visit.”

 

“I want to purchase a transport. I trust the quality of the spacecraft here. And the lack of dissent and _resistance_ here by the central government on Bijin.” He emphasised the word resistance. A thinly veiled threat.

 

The static sound of the radio disappeared going dead, then, another crackle. “Commander Ren. The authorities of Bijin will grant you a 48 hour landing permit. If it is discovered that you are spying or conducting any business involving the First Order, you will be imprisoned.”

 

_They knew who he was._

 

Kylo sighed, and transferred credits for the permit. Everything was about money on Bijin. Have enough and the world was yours for the taking. But the wealthy had little tolerance for the First Order. Thinking it was a problem they could ignore as long as they threw enough money at it.

 

Snoke was content with this form of bribery, a fan of embezzling funds from such arrangements in his personal accounts. Kylo however, knew that people needed to fear the First Order. And that not even the wealthy should be exempt. They had already accomplished so much through intimidation. With fear, and a reputation for violence it would be easier to cleanse the galaxy of the gangsters and bottom feeder scum that occupied the Outer Rim. The corruption of the upper classes. Something that the Republic politicians, petty and self involved had never managed. Too inward looking.

 

Kylo knew all about politics. His young years had been filled with travel. His mother an important political figure in the New Republic, would attend hundreds of senate meetings. Conferences with opposition leaders, important gatherings concerning trade. But in this fledgling democracy no one could ever come to a consensus on any important matter. His mother once enthusiastic about the better world they were creating, became harder, more despondent, her face setting in a harsh line. As an effort to unite warring planets, species angry with one another, cities torn apart by the memory of the Empire, Kylo would be paraded in front of these quarrelling politicians, used as the symbol of his parents new world.

 

Gradually he began displaying Jedi abilities, fast reflexes, a sensitivity to the Force. His parents decided he needed to be sent away. To fulfil a vision, a dream, of a world where the Jedi returned. A child with Skywalker blood. The past already weighing down on him. Legacy.

 

Suddenly, a hand touched his shoulder and Kylo jumped, caught unaware.

 

He turned to see Rey standing behind him, looking bleary eyed, still half asleep.The hyperspace jump had woken her.

 

“Where are we going?” She asked.

 

“The Bijin system, in the core.” He said. “A relatively wealthy planet by galactic standards. Untouched by the conflict in the galaxy. A planet of bankers and stock-market brokers.”

 

“Untouched.” Rey asked. Face awash with curiosity. “How? Every populated planet is either in the hands of the First Order or the Resistance.”

 

She was perceptive, Ren thought. He cleared his throat. “They donate _considerable_ amounts to the First Order to not pry into planetary affairs. You’ll be safe there. It will be easy to find you a transport.” He looked at her, a strange mixture of conflicting emotions within him all vying for attention. For a second she met his eyes but then looked away, disgusted by the narrative of this planet. Of politics in the galaxy.

 

“I’ll get my belongings together.” She said. Turning to leave.

 

“You asked me to tell you about my past.” Kylo said softly, stopping her.

 

“Yes.” Rey said looking at him, an uncanny warmth in her eyes. “I want to know more about Ben Solo.”

 

“Ben loved, I... I loved flying. I wanted to be a pilot. Like my father. Like the squadrons in the rebellion. I would sit in the cockpit of old X-Wings, playing. Had posters of speeders on my walls.”

 

“A pilot.” Rey grinned. “Very typical, like every every boy. And me. I wasn't one for girlish things. I loved playing amongst old wreckages of AT-AT walkers. They reminded me of animals. Dogs. So life-like.”

 

Kylo smiled the shadow of a smile and continued. “I loved flying but my mother wanted me to be a politician. She realised the necessity of governance after the Empire fell. With the Empire’s shadow gone, the gangsters began to move in, slavers and criminal syndicates. Opportunists. But was I _quiet_. I hated the business of politics, the adults, the endless conservation.” He paused. “There needs to be action. Not constant arguing.”

 

Rey’s forehead furrowed. “Democracy is not ideal, but at least people have a voice.” She said.

 

“Stupid people.” Kylo muttered. “Anyway that didn't last long. I began to feel it… the Force. I was able to do what others could not. Perceive people's thoughts. My parents saw the signs. They believed in the Jedi. They saw me as a symbol of a new generation. The _Skywalker_ legacy. I never even wanted to be a Jedi. I wanted to be my father. I wanted to fly spacecraft and have adventures. I was not made to be a Jedi. I didn't have the patience, the self control. But it is what they tried to make me.”

 

Rey nodded but opened her mouth to protest. “Sometimes though, we have to do things we do not want to.” She said. “But I think our destinies are bigger than us. Why would the universe, choose to bestow a great sensitivity to the Force upon you, strength, if it is not meant for you to master that strength.”

 

He laughed, laughed at how strongly the girls, Rey’s beliefs were entrenched in mysticism. “The universe didn't choose me Rey. It’s _simply_ genetics. My grandfather was strong with the Force and my mother possesses the same ability even though she never honed it. Perhaps there is a reason the Jedi forbade its members to marry, to have sexual relationships. Maybe fate is stronger than blood. My existence a cosmic joke. A contradiction. I used to believe in legacy, but lately I have realised that the past should not have to define us. You have to carve your own path, and I was never meant to be a Jedi.”

 

Rey pressed her lips together her mouth an unyielding line. “I understand you not wanting to be a Jedi. But why the Sith?”

 

Kylo took a deep breath. “When Snoke first found me at fifteen, he offered me a sort of freedom, a chance to escape the Jedi. A life that I never chose. He told be about the Sith, about acting on emotion, not out of duty. He was the first to understand it, the darkness within me. To not simply tell me to suppress it. For the first-time in a long time I felt alive. But I was torn, between two paths,  the light and the dark, until Luke…”

 

He paused, shaking both with anger and the aftershocks of Snoke's mental torture. Rey watched him cautiously.

 

“I want to apologize. Rey. For taunting you about your loneliness. In truth, growing up away from my parents, I was also lonely. So lonely it almost drove me mad. Instructed to sit there and meditate for hours, when all I could feel was the emptiness inside myself, my isolation.” An unwelcome tear escaped the corner of his eye. “When I first interrogated you. I felt your loneliness. I knew we were alike. What I felt, you felt it too.”

 

Rey stared at him, speechless, seemingly shock by his sudden outburst. One of honesty and sentiment. He was an idiot, confiding in her he thought, scolding himself.

 

But then Rey looked up at him with a warmth and understand in her eyes. “I think we’ve come to understand each other a little better.” She said. She got up and wrapped her arms around him. A reassuring embrace. He buried his head in her chest and for the first time felt like weeping. But instead, he wiped his face drying away the tears. He wasn't yet ready to give the whole of himself to her.

 

Rey pulled her arms away, and softly spoke. “Can we agree, to only tell the truth to each other from now on?”

 

“I have never lied to you Rey.” Kylo said confused.

 

“Yes but neither do you say what you truly feel. You hide behind Kylo Ren, this character. But if we are to ever meet again, I want the _real_ you. Ben Solo.”

 

Kylo leaned towards her, looking her in the eye. “I promise.” He said. Though he knew if they met again, it would unlikely be on friendly terms.

 

Rey dressed and they landed. Kylo watched as she observed the city, in front of them both massive and tall, skyscrapers looming, casting shadows on city streets consisted of shorter buildings. A mishmash of people, populated the streets; human and alien alike, looking colourful and exotic despite being ordinary citizens.

 

“Welcome to Bijin.” He said to her. “Now before I find you a transport, let's get breakfast. I’m hungry.”

 

Rey nodded dumbly, seemingly dazed by the magnitude of the city, it's colourful streets, neon signs in basic, but also other languages that Kylo himself could not translate. He navigated the city easily, quickly locating the cafe he was looking for. He and Rey sat down, after quickly ordering two bowls of steaming noodles. He ate quickly, slurping, listening to Rey making appreciative sounds as she ate. Her moans, her sloppy way of eating, everything about her, incited lust in him, He shivered uncomfortably.

 

“Best noodles in the galaxy.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow.

 

“In my opinion.”

 

Rey looked at him with her intelligent eyes. “You come here a lot, don't you?”

 

Kylo shrugged. “Yes, in my spare time, I come here, to this planet, to eat, relax watch the pod races. I like it here. Two hundred million live in this city. Here you can be nobody, just part of a crowd. It's nice sometimes, to feel that way.” He conceded. “Of course I don’t usually bring the command shuttle. Too conspicuous.”

 

Rey nodded, though she didn’t seem familiar with the concept of leisure time.

 

“I wanted you to see it. This planet. Show you that there is more out there. That places like this exist. That there is more than just desert, poverty and crime. The universe is ... _phenomenal_.”

 

“It's been a long time since i’ve seen a city.” Rey admitted. “This place is beautiful,  overwhelming.” Kylo nodded sensing her discomfort at being amongst crowds

 

“But you like it?” Ren said calling over the Twi’lek waitress.

 

“Yes.”

 

After breakfast they returned to the command shuttle before flying to the edge of the gargantuan city. The buildings were shabbier here, populated by cantinas, shops dedicated to gambling, black market items, junkyards.

 

Kylo landed next to what looked like a scrapyard. But he knew better. An old business acquaintance rushed to greet him.

 

“Matt.” The man leaned over and clapped him on the back. Kylo suppressed the urge to wince at the mans closeness. Instead he smiled back lazily, and adopted the rough drawl of a lower class Coruscant accent.

 

“Sol Feng.” He said clasping the man's hand.

 

Rey mouth had curled up at 'Matt'. He shot her a withering look.

 

Sol’s gaze, turned to look at Rey. “And who’s this, Matt. A girlfriend?” He winked at Rey. “Exactly what he needs, I think. Never seen a man look so continuously tense as this guy.”

 

Kylo’s mouth twitched with annoyance. “My cousin.” He said, meeting Rey’s eye. “ _Daisy_.”

 

Rey coughed in disbelief, and suddenly he heard her in his mind. _Daisy!_ She exclaimed. _Do I look like a Daisy?_ She thought with revulsion.

 

Kylo ignored her, focusing on Sol. “I’m looking for something small and fast. And _safe_ , he added, looking at Rey.

 

“For your cousin?”

 

Kylo nodded, letting Arlo lead them away from the freighters and land speeders. Cargo ships.

 

“A personal visit not business, how unlike you.” Sol chattered as they walked. “Nice you got family though. Not good to be alone.”

 

Kylo’s annoyment grew.

 

“Here we are.” The trader said gesturing to a row of personal vehicles. “I’ll leave you to look around.”

 

As soon as Sol retreated, Rey turned to him incredulous. “Your cousin? Daisy! And since when do you go by Matt?”

 

“He thinks that I am a radar technician who purchases transports for the First Order on the side. Anyway it’s not for you to concern yourself with.” He told her. Being Kylo Ren could be bad for business transactions, transactions of any sort.

 

Rey chose not to enquire any further. She looked up at him. “When you said you would arrange a transport for me, well, I pictured it being some sort of public freighter ship, a dozen people on-board. Not a ship of my own…” She admitted.

 

He shrugged attempting to appear nonchalant. “I do owe you a speeder.” He told her flatly.

 

Ren watched as Rey went to examine the spacecraft on offer. All second hand, but despite his off-puttingly intrusive manner, Sol was a savant when it came to mechanics. These ships would run better than they had brand new, thanks to his alterations.

 

Kylo could tell which ship had drawn her attention, a slender corvette, with a bright green body. The craft beside it looked like junk by comparison. Boxy, lacking all of the Corvettes elegance. He reckoned it would have a price tag to match its beauty. Nevertheless…

 

He called Sol over. “This one, the Corvette, we’ll take it.”

 

Sol smiled. “Usually one of these would retail at one hundred thousand credits, but I can give you a good deal.”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes. “They retail at ninety new, and this one isn’t even that.” In the end he haggled the trader down to sixty.

 

“You’re a hard sell Matt.” Sol said to him clapping him on the back.

 

Rey watched him, her face a mixture of awe. “How much money do you have?” She whispered incredulously.

 

“Be quiet.” But she continued to look at him. Probing. “I have enough.” He admitted. Enough to give her this gift of freedom, like a fool. He’d never see her again.

 

Rey smiled as she examined her newly acquired ship. She adjusted the controls grinning in the cockpit. When she saw him watching her she froze. Her face took on an expression of solemnity.

 

“I guess this is _it_.”

 

He wasn't ready. “Before you leave, let me show you something.” He couldn't hide the desperation in his voice.“There's a place in the Southern hemisphere you should see. It won’t take long. It’s where I’m going.”

 

Rey looked uncertain, like she was calculating the risk, of going with him.

 

“I’ll take the command shuttle. If you want you can follow behind. _Please_.”

 

He got ready to leave, not expecting her to follow him, but miraculously, she did, her ship matching pace with his.

 

They travelled South, across a series of timezones. Away from the city, until they reached a verdant forest, a blue ocean. When they arrived, landing on the shore of the Roh sea it was evening, the sun ready to set.

 

“You wanted to show me the sunset.” Rey mused.

 

“No.”

 

It _was_ a beautiful sunset, but she was a desert girl, acquainted with every aspect of the sun. Kylo wanted to show her something new.

 

He stripped off his shirt and got in the water. Rey groaned.

 

“Swimming. _Seriously_?”

 

“I killed your fear. So swimming shouldn’t be a problem, despite your terrible technique.” He tossed a rebreather at her. “Put this in your mouth.”

 

Kylo started to swim out, then dived beneath the water. Rey reluctantly following him.

 

_Then she saw what lay beneath._

 

The whole of the reef was illuminated, every colour of the spectrum represented. Where Kylo moved, little sparks flashed in bursts, the perturbed plankton bioluminescing. He watched as Rey watched the glittering lights, eyes wide with wonder. Beneath them the corals glowed a soft red, accompanied by the neon lights of fish that circled them, glimmering and glittering. Everything shone.

 

When they surfaced, Rey gazed at Kylo.

 

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered.

 

Silent tears flowed down her face.

 

“The whole reef, the fish, have evolved to glow, when the water is perturbed. A protective measure. One that is surprisingly effective. For a aquatic predator whose eyes are designed for low light, the display is blinding.” He told her.

 

She nodded. “I think I understand why you love to swim. It’s a window into a different world.”

 

He wanted to grab her, to show her more. To bare his soul. But instead he turned and swam for shore.

 

It was night, a chill in the air. He quickly made a fire. And lay down on the sand beside it, drying his damp clothes. Rey came and joined him, laying down beside him.

 

They were both silent. Watching the stars.

 

Minutes passed then an hour. Rey did not speak, only nodding when he offered her a drink. The air was charged, with silence, with unspoken things.

 

Kylo reached over and took Rey’s hand. Surprisingly she obliged. Fingers twining with his.

 

After a while he could stand it no longer. He turned towards her, land leaned in fingers brushing his jaw. “I think being apart from you. It will break me.” He confessed, suddenly feeling a twinge of bittersweet reminiscence for his youth. “You make me want to be Ben Solo again.”

 

Rey eyes widened.

 

“I guess I always knew.” She whispered.

 

“Knew what?” He asked but Rey just looked at him and shook her head.

 

“I think this has gone further than me just being your student.”

 

And then, to his surprise, _she_ was kissing him.


	12. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo finally warm to each other... But things do downhill fast.
> 
> Shit gets dark so i'm putting a major dubious consent warning on this chapter. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Sorry guys but you probably saw this coming. The pain train is never far away...
> 
> P.S. Kylo's an idiot.

Ren was still. Still as Rey pressed her lips softly to his. Gently parting them. Her fingers tangling in his hair.

 

A sound came from deep within his throat, a guttural, animal sound. A sound of lust and desire. And yet, he did not kiss her back.

 

She pulled away feeling confused.

 

“ _Ok_ Ben.” She said softly. Trying to hide the pain of rejection from her voice. She turned away to conceal her expression from him, one of confusion and loss.

 

But as she prepared to walk away, he grabbed her shoulder. Gently turning her back towards him.

 

“Rey…” He started to say but then instead he grabbed her face, closing the space between then and started to kiss her with an insurmountable ferocity.

 

There was no artistry in the kiss. Just his mouth on hers, consuming. Teeth scraping her lip. Tongue exploring, softly. She kissed him back, kissed him until she was breathless, until she felt drunk, dizzy, overcome by sensation. She ran her tongue over the tips of his teeth, feeling the sharpness of his canines. Bit his lip softly. Her hands, once relegated to his hair, moved lower, touching his waist, the flatness of his stomach; feeling the hard muscle there.

 

Of all the poor life choices she had made, this one felt the most reckless. Exhilarating. Sure, she had kissed Kylo Ren. Gone further. But this is the first time she had initiated it, the first time he had kissed her out of want and she him, not to win a battle, to outwit the other. It felt like crossing a threshold into uncharted territory.

 

Rey broke the kiss, and gazed at him, taking him in properly. When she had seen him with the First Order he always seemed to move with a purpose. His voice had been dispassionate and calm. Iciness in the tone, modulated by that helmet. That mask, that concealed all visible emotion, changing him from man to creature.

 

Here, he was not the same person. He had done away with the robe. With the mask. He looked young. His hair was a chaotic mess, his movements, laconic. He was unsmiling, but emotions flickered across his face constantly, impatience, amusement, passion, surprise. And his eyes. There was a darkness to them. A strange intensity. As if he wanted to devour the world with his gaze.

 

_She wanted him to devour her._

 

She didn't love him. But maybe that didn't matter. She wanted him.

 

She wasn't a Jedi, unlike Luke. Meaning she was allowed to be selfish. If only a little. Wasn't it human, to want, and to feel so acutely?

 

Ren was staring at her. Face inches from her, flushed with colour. Eyes searching, questioning, why she had broken the kiss, pulled away. As she gazed at him, she realised that perhaps he had been examining her too. She looked at him. And bit her lip slowly, eyes burning into his, letting him into her thoughts, willing him to come closer. To kiss her. _To take what he wanted._ His expression changed to one of uncontrollable desire.

 

He descended upon her like a wave. Kissing her voraciously. His whole body pressing into her. She was suddenly aware of the great height difference between them. Only the incline of the sand allowed her to reach up and kiss his lips. She felt delirious. At some point, his mouth left hers, exploring her jaw, her earlobe, her neck. His lips and tongue, teasing the sensitive area there. Rey shivered from the pleasure, amplified by an echo of pain, from where he had bitten her a few days ago. She gave into the sensation. A moan slipping from her lips. She could feel the heat, the need, growing between her legs. With their bodies this close together his arousal was evident too. A hardness, against her stomach, her hip bone. She ground into him, wanted to make him suffer. He groaned.

 

Just then the sky made a clamorous noise. A single drop of wetness fell on Rey's nose, followed in quick succession by a deluge. It had begun to rain.

 

Ren continued to kiss her, granting her no reprieve, as her skin and clothes grew slick with wetness, pressing his body harder against hers. Rey noticed she was shivering and laughed.

 

“Inside.” Ren said raggedly.

 

He carried her over the threshold of the command shuttle. Then as soon as they were in the warmth, he pushed her against the wall, kissing her ferociously. Her legs hooked around his waist. In the narrow entrance corridor his body took up all the space, dwarfing her. She felt small, inconsequential, as his body pressed up against hers.

 

As he kissed her, his hands explored. Slipping beneath the hem of her shirt. She gasped at their coldness at the feeling of his icy fingers on her stomach. His movements were not skilled but the prescience that accompanied the Force bond, meant that Ren could feel what she felt and she him. The Force heightening every sensation. His hands found her nipples. Fingers brushing across them. They hardened almost immediately, swollen and sensitive. Rey moaned involuntarily.

 

Seemingly satisfied by her moans, the jerking of her hips, his hand slipped beneath her waistband, to the wetness in between her legs. She gasped from the intensity of the sensation. His touch was soft and light, fingers circling almost lazily, destroying any lucid thought in Rey's mind.

 

He pulled her closer, biting her lip as he pushed a finger inside her. She gasped loudly at the shock of it, the foreignness of feeling. Immediately his finger moved, touching some deep spot within her with a surprising dexterity. Dexterity that only a Jedi could possess. Or someone who had been trained as one. Her moans of pleasure seemed to affect Ren, who’s movements had become more sloppy, less controlled.

 

“The bed,” she gasped. “Please.”

 

Once inside the bedroom he immediately began to remove her damp clothing. Peeling off layers with a purposeful urgency. Once she lay naked before him sprawled on the bed, he stepped back, stared at her unclothed body. There was an uncertainty in his expression.

 

“You’ve not done this before have you?” Rey said softly.

 

He shook his head. “Neither have you.” He said. It wasn't a question.

 

“No.” she smiled. “But I want to.”

 

Too long she had lived with the privation of sensation, touch, feeling. These days, weeks with Ren, had woken something within her, a hunger. A lust. She knew there was no going back.

 

She reached towards him, undoing the hooks on his high waisted leather pants with difficulty. At some point his hands replaced hers, pulling the trousers off with relative ease despite there tightness. She gazed at his naked body. She had seen men naked before but never up this close. She reached out running her hand along the length of his cock. Her thumb stroked the tip. Ren gasped, a sharp intake of breath. His pleasure rippled through her.

 

He moved towards her, body right at the foot of the bed. She grabbed his arm, pulling. She wanted him inside of her. Was tired of waiting. But instead of obliging her, he grabbed her wrists pinning them above her head. He crawled on top of her. Lazily kissing her. Biting her skin, sucking at it. Beginning at her neck and travelling down to her stomach, then lower. He kissed her beneath her thighs. At first his lips his tongue lacked proficiency, the feeling pleasurable but slight. But soon he found the sensitive spot at the apex of her pubic bone, causing her to jump suddenly, a startled gasp escaping her lips. Ren pushed more of his weight onto her thighs, holding her down. Taunting her, tongue circling, until she cried out, until she was quivering, hips arching, begging for him.

 

This is how he wanted her. He told her in his mind. _Begging for him_. She wanted to argue, but by now she was too overcome to come up with some sharp tongued retort.

 

“ _Please_.” she whispered. Tugging her wrists from his. Pulling him up from beneath her thighs. She stroked his face, fingers then moving to trail along the length of him.

 

Ren let out a garbled sound.

 

She bucked her hips grinding against him, slowly, rhythmically. Her eyes meeting his, causing him to gasp and writhe just as she had.

 

“Please. _Ben_.” She once again whispered and ground into him harder until his control seemingly broke and he suddenly relented pushing himself inside her. _Hard_.

 

The pain was sharp, like a lightsaber burn. Rey gasped, from the shock of it. He was bigger than her, too big and not gentle. But for some reason it excited her, his roughness, her pain, which as he moved began to be  replaced by feelings of pleasure. Her hips arched, moving to match the pace of his thrusts. His unrelenting movements, the feeling of him inside her, it was more than she could take.

 

“Ben.” She moaned.

 

Her neck arched upwards and she could feel her muscles contracting, uncontrollably around Rens' cock. Rey groaned simultaneously, his movements becoming faster. Suddenly he slowed down, stopping. Breathing hard. She could sense his thoughts, wild and chaotic. _He wanted to, he needed, but so soon..._

 

“It’s okay.” She whispered.

 

Ren began to move again, at an impressive pace. Faster, until his breaths came as gasps and his hair slick with sweat stuck to his forehead. His, movements became jerky, unpredictable. She reached up to kiss him. His composure shattered. He groaned and pushed into her hard, his body shaking, collapsing on top of her.

 

She lay like that beneath him, strangely excited at the feeling of powerlessness, taking shallow breaths as she waited for the sensations of electricity in her body to subside. To regain her mind.

 

Finally, she rolled out from beneath him, laying her head back on the pillow. She turned to look at him. His face was wrought with tiredness. Eyes half closed. He met her eyes regarding her with a sleepy gaze. He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Within moments he was asleep.

 

Rey took longer to fall asleep. Thoughts running through her mind. She felt different, as if the loss of her virginity had changed her in some strange secret way. She wasn't sure who she was anymore. It was as if the layers  of herself were being stripped away. Ren had first invaded her mind and now she had willingly given him her body.

 

Over her time spent with him, she had transformed. Her body was tightly coiled. Hard. Lean muscle and new scars. Her mind no longer plagued by memories of the past. She felt strong. But there was an edge to her. A new cruelty, and a desire to seek out danger. Thrills. She felt like a weapon primed to explode.

 

 _The old Rey had been kind_.

 

But at least she wasn't lying to herself. She'd lied to herself for so long about her parents, about the reality of her existence. At least now she acknowledged that she could be cruel, thoughtless, just as Ren could be kind. She no longer felt repressed. And lying in Rens arms did not bring her shame, but a strange sort of understanding that in some circumstances there were grey areas.

 

She finally drifted to sleep.

 

As she slept, instead of dreaming about Ren, the soft-edged rose tinted dreamed girls had of boys they desired, she dreamt of Finn. Finn in danger. She dreamt of explosions rocking the base on D’Qar. Dreamt of a girl wearing a jumpsuit and a solemn expression. Dreamt of Leia lifeless in the vacuum of space. First Order dreadnoughts destroying the Resistances fleet.

 

At some point the horror became so real that Rey woke up, running to the bathroom and vomiting. She looked at herself in the mirror. Pale, chaotic hair, dark circles under her eyes. What she _saw_ , the vision, she knew it was real. She could feel it in the Force, a series of events waiting to happen.

 

She walked back to that bedroom regarding, Ren’s sleeping form. She acknowledged a truth she would rather ignore. If Ren left, he would go after the Resistance. His loyalty still lay with the First Order.  

 

_And Snoke knew where the Resistance base was._

 

Rey knew that she needed to warn them even if it meant betraying him.

 

Careful to be silent, she began to compose a transmission.

 

Because, if there was one thing Rey was sure of, it was that though she had given Ren her body, it was the Resistance that her soul belonged to.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo woke to find himself naked, Rey lying beside him similarly unclothed.

 

She was still asleep. Still here. He had half expected her to be gone. But he was glad she was not. After the previous night, he could not even think about being parted from her. She had him. Had caught him, with her defiance, and her intelligence, her lips.  He thought back to exquisite pleasure of being inside her. He shivered involuntary.

 

He turned towards her, admiring her body, golden skin, lean lithe limbs, the softness of her stomach, her breasts. She had scars, more than him, along with a  wound from his saber. But it did not detract from her beauty. Her scars were a map, a story of her strength.

 

He looked at her unable to suppress a smile. He felt oddly calm, buoyant, like the storm raging within him for so long, had subsided. Was this what is was like to be Ben Solo?

 

Looking at her however evoked a strange  conflict in his soul. ‘ _Isn’t this what you wanted_?’ He thought to himself. Yes he had desired her, the scavenger girl since he had first interrogated her. Saw the defiance in those doe eyes. But he had pushed it down, that desire. For she was his enemy, and on top of that she had poor hygiene and no social graces. But lately he had been unable to ignore it. And last night he had come undone. Yes, he had wanted her, but to conquer her. But the feelings they went deeper, a warmth, a shared attraction. She was not a victory to be had. Instead she had stolen a part of him. He had bared his vulnerability to her, the truth of him. His inexperience…

 

Next to him, Rey turned, her breathing  growing shallower. She was slowly waking. He leaned in towards her, unable to stop himself. His lips grazing her jaw.

 

“Mmmmph.” She moaned, still half asleep. Her eyes slowly flickered open. He regarded her with curiosity. She raised a hand wiping the sleep from her eyes.

 

“What are you looking at?” She said a slow smile appearing on her face.

 

“You.”

 

She moved to get up but he grabbed her wrist, pulled her back towards him. Pinning her down. Within seconds he was on top of her. Rey began to protest, but her resistance melted as his hand travelled up her inner thigh, between her legs. She tilted her chin up and kissed him, her lips like hot fire.

 

_If she only knew what she did to him…_

 

He pawed at her hips already hard. He looked up into her warm brown eyes registering her want. Pushing into her hard and swift, a warm pleasure already building in the base his stomach. Rey's cry, sharp and pure; cut through him like a knife.

 

He wanted to hold her down and fuck her hard. It was in his nature to control, dominate.But he could sense in her open mind that she was still sore from last night. So he tempered his movements, making them soft and slow. The Force bond shimmered and warped between them, heightening everything. He could feel her pleasure, and she his.

 

She was so tight around him, and moving slow was a torture. He had almost come undone multiple times, having to force himself to picture Hux, to stop himself from coming too quickly.

 

Only when Rey began to quiver beneath him, unable to control her pleasure did he finally give in, moving faster until he felt the orgasm traveling through him. A violent crescendo, bright as a star.

 

Afterwards they lay together, watching each other, not talking.

 

He raked his fingers through her hair possessively. He wanted to stay like this forever, not moving, watching, his bare limbs tangling with hers beneath the thin sheet that covered them. Laying together on a too small bed.

 

 _Forget duty._ This… Him and her. Dark and light. For a moment he considered leaving everything behind. For her. Rey. But he deep inside he knew she would not do the same.

 

Eventually Rey, turned from him. Getting up. He growled and pawed at her grasping her calf.

 

“Stay.”

 

“ _Ben_ . I need the _bathroom.”_ She said in exasperation rolling her eyes. She turned back towards him and stared at him defiantly. “Your thoughts are a maelstrom.” She reprimanded him. “You need to meditate more.”

 

Kylo could not help smiling to himself. Usually he like to be in charged but in this moment Rey’s authoritarian tone pleased him.

 

A room away, he heard the sound of the shower being turned on. He closed his eyes trying to find his centre. A calm flatness within. But he could not meditate. The thought of Rey, naked behind those doors provided too much of a distraction. Instead he went about cleaning. Untidiness unnerved him. Order for him was a compulsion.

 

He went about picking up items of clothing that had been discarded in their fit of passion the previous evening. As the lifted the long strip of linen Rey used to bind her breasts something fell out from between the folds of fabric.

 

He leaned down, examining the fallen item. A cerulean blue device threaded onto a piece of string. If he didn't know better he would have assumed it was jewellery. Purely ornamental. But he had been trained to recognise such devices. It was a tracker albeit a simplistic one. A binary beacon.

 

A receiver. He twisted the side to active the beacon. He want to see the origin of the signal. Likely D’Qar. The First Order already knew the location of the Resistance Base. They had known for months. But Snoke had ordered the fleet to wait, to regroup before attacking. Wait until the Supremacy, their flagship destroyer was complete. But what if the signal was not from the Resistance, but elsewhere? Maybe, just maybe, it would lead him to Luke.

 

_He could finish what he had started._

 

He dressed quickly then got up and walked to the cockpit inserting the device, searching for the coordinates of the signal.

 

The control panel bleeped. The signal was coming from aboard the command shuttle. Kylo stared at the device confused.

 

Then he realised what was happening. She’d done something _clever_.

 

The beacon was transmitting _not_ receiving.

 

_She had rewired it. Reversed the signal._

 

And it was not coordinates that she transmitting, otherwise the radar system on the command shuttle would have detected it, but something else, on an encrypted frequency his systems did not recognize.

 

He recalled Snoke's words.

 

_We intercepted a message suggesting that the Resistance have acquired some tactical information.  Concerning our dreadnoughts. I suspect there is a mole in the First Order._

 

It was _her_ , he realised. Rey was the mole. _._

 

He’d left her alone. With his datapad. She must have hacked his personal documents.

 

She’d been sending information to the Resistance all the time.

 

Rey had deceived him.

 

She had been playing him all along.

 

She didn’t care for him. It was all just a _distraction_.

 

Kylo felt something break inside of him. He forced the anger, the sadness, the hatred, back down inside him. Pocketing the tracker, he returned to the bedroom. Throwing Rey’s clothes, once neatly piled, back down on the floor. He forced himself to smile, as she emerged from the shower freshly washed and wrapped in a towel.

 

He made her breakfast. Silently. Forcing himself to be calm even though he felt like he may explode into a thousand pieces. The darkness inside him like a live wire. He could not betray his thoughts to her.

 

“I think I need to leave soon.” Rey said looking at him from across the table.

 

“Then why have you stayed this long?”

 

Rey was silent, unable to answer him. But he already knew her mind.

 

“You think you can stop me from attacking the Resistance, from returning to Snoke?”

 

“Yes.” He could sense the connotation of those three letters in her mind. _If you care for me, then you will leave the Resistance alone._

 

“I can’t.” He said flatly. He was still reeling from her betrayal. She had pretty much admitted it. Manipulating him, thinking he would stay with her in exchange for what. Sex? A part of him wanted to, so much it physically hurt. But in the end Snoke had been right. When he had told him that Rey would betray him.

 

Rey sighed. “If war is what you want, then it’s not right for me to stay Ben. We both want different things. For the galaxy. Our differences are unresolvable.” She moved to get up, but he stopped her, wordlessly, with the Force.

 

“You’re right. About both wanting different things.” Kylo said softly.

 

He got up, standing beside her. His fingers grazing her jaw, her collarbones.

 

“I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I may have lied to myself about that fact. But now I know the truth. But I don't know what you want Rey.”

 

He shifted his hand and the towel folded around her body tore in two falling to the floor. The chair she had been sitting on, flew backwards causing Rey to stagger forwards, gripping the edge of the table to prevent herself from falling.

 

“Ben!” Rey’s voice filled with shock.

 

He grabbed her hair and pulled her head to the side. “Don’t call me Ben.” He whispered in her ear. “It's not Ben that can make you feel like this.” He grazed his teeth along the side of her neck, grinding his hips into her backside.

 

When he pushed his fingers inside her roughly he found she was already moist. He had wanted to punish her. But he realised, that somewhat surprisingly she enjoyed this.

 

With his free hand he reached for his zipper. Pulling down his trousers. He felt so hard it was almost painful. He pushed into her roughly, Rey letting out a cry. An animal sound. He bent her over the table and fucked her unceremoniously, unrelenting. Suddenly he felt something sharp against his throat. The bread knife. He stilled.

 

“What is this?” She said breathing hard. “Are you trying to punish me for leaving?”

 

“Something like that.” He said, head buried in her neck. “What? Do you want me to be nice. Is that it?” He moved his hand to the place he had learned to touch. At the apex of her legs. That caused electricity to travel across his body through the bond.

 

He rolled his hips against hers. Rey cried out, quivering.

 

“Well?”

 

Rey was silent.

 

He thrusted into her. Once twice, thrice, falling apart. Finding his release. He stepped back redoing his trousers. Then slipped his hand back between her legs. Mouth on her neck biting, like he wanted to consume the delicate flesh there.

 

Just as she was about to come. He pushed his way into her overstimulated mind. As she cried out her release he flicked his hand up, extinguishing her conscious mind. She slumped to the floor.

 

In their game of wills. Rey had just lost.

 

He did not know how long he could keep her knocked out for using the Force, so he administered a sedative, plunging the needle dispassionately into her bicep. Afterwards he stared at her for a long moment, naked and powerless on the floor. For a moment he questioned his actions, wondering what he had done. But then the rage rosee up inside him. Anger. Confusion. Heartbreak.

 

He warmed up the engines of his command shuttle while recording a transmission to Snoke.

 

_“I have the girl Master,” he said. “Forgive me for my foolishness. You were right about her. She is nothing but scavenger scum. I was wrong to trust her. I am on my way to you now.”_

 

He would deliver her to his master. Then destroy the rest of the Resistance. Maybe once the Resistance were eliminated and the galaxy under First Order rule, then he would be able to start to forget.

  
Forget _her_. Rey.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't really like writing smut. It's hard. And weird. But I feel like that's what people want. So here is a whole chapters worth and they kiss in the rain as cliche and the notebook demands.


	13. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Snoke gets iced.

Rey woke up confused. Lying on a cold metal floor. She could not move. Her hands were cuffed together behind her back. Her ankles bound in what she presumed were manacles.

 

“You’re awake.” Ren said looming above her.

 

She stared at him in shock.

 

“Ben.” She said cautiously. “What are you doing?”

 

He dangled something above her head. She craned her neck up to see it. It was her tracker, hanging from a cord grasped between his fingers.

 

“Did you think I wouldn't find out? That you were communicating with the Resistance.”

 

“Ben…”

 

“Don't call me Ben. I’m not Ben Solo. Ben Solo is dead. I killed him.”

 

Rey stared at him. Whilst secretly concentrating on undoing her restraints with the Force. But the mechanism inside resisted manipulation. Ren met her gaze, his eyes filled with betrayal. An involuntary twitch in his jaw. He looked agitated.

 

“You betrayed me.” Ren said. His voice rising.

 

“Betrayed you?” She scoffed. “I think I’ve always made it clear that my allegiance lay with the Resistance.” She got up, standing with extreme difficulty. Manacles cutting into her ankles.

 

“That's not what I mean.” Ben snapped. “I thought we had an agreement. You don’t meddle in First Order business and I would grant you the same privilege concerning the Resistance. I could have easily extracted information about them from you, but I chose not to.” He paused looking at her with eyes full of sadness and rage. “You should have _ left _ when I gave you the chance.”

 

Rey felt fire rising up within her. Anger, hot and red. “The First Order, are going to attack the Resistance base! My friends are on that base. The people who matter most to me. I  _ had _ to warn them. There was too much at stake for me not to.”

 

Ren grabbed her arm and began to disembark the command shuttle. Pulling her after them.

 

“Your warning came too late.” He said flatly. Without emotion. “We have tracked the Resistance through hyperspace. They are tied on a string. Their fuel level is critical. Soon enough they will be obliterated.”

 

“Well. _ Congratulations _ .” She spat at him, hurling all of of her anger into the words. The air around her sparked with electricity.

 

The shuttle had landed in the hangar bay of a huge destroyer. He led her into a turbolift at the end of the bay. The door closed with a soft woosh, a sonorous click. The air between them plunged into silence. No longer filled with the sound of engines, the resonating sound of marching stormtroopers. Rey exhaled. Her breath a soft whisper.

 

She turned to face him. Stared into his eyes. Her captor, her lover, and  _ now _ her executioner. His scent was still on her. And a stickiness on her inner thighs. She couldn't breathe.

 

He stared back at her. His gaze burning into her. Dark and intense. Suddenly he tore his eyes from her. Whirling around, swift, kinetic. Striking the wall.

 

“You  _ gave _ yourself to me.” He cried. “Let me bed you! Is there nothing you wouldn’t do for your Resistance.”

 

“You think I slept with you, for the Resistance!” Rey snorted. “What do you think I was trying to do? Take you away from a creature that tortures you for sport...”

 

“The Supreme Leader is wise. He knew you would betray me.” Ren replied. His eyes were dark. Brooding.

 

“Ben.” She said trying to reason with him. “I didn't sleep with you because of the Resistance. I, I guess I saw something in you. Some light. There wasn't a motive, it just ... happened.” She began to pace. Leaning her forehead against the side of the lift.

 

_ I’m an idiot _ . She thought to herself.

 

“You don't have to to this.” 

 

“I do.” He said flatly.

 

“I feel the conflict within you.” She said voice rising. “It’s  _ tearing _ you apart.”

 

His mouth twitched, but he remained silent. Motionless. 

 

“Ben.  _ Look at me.”  _

 

His eyes flickered reluctantly meeting hers.

 

“I saw your future.” Rey said her voice rising.  “When we touched, that first time. Through the Force. Just the  _ shape _ of it, but  _ solid _ and  _ clear.  _ You will not bow before Snoke _.  _ You _ will  _ turn. I saw it. It’s your destiny.

 

“You’re  _ wrong _ .” He said stiffly. His words hollow. Lacking emotion.

 

Just then doors of the lift opened and her restrained bleeped, deactivated, dropping to the floor with a metallic clang. Rey looked up, taking in her surroundings. Before her lay a huge room. Cavernous and foreboding. A walk-way of polished black marble and chrome leading to a creature enveloped in gold robes, bathed in scarlet light.  _ Snoke. _ Rey's eyes narrowed with loathing. Around him, forming a semi circle, stood a number of guards. Faces concealed. Armoured in the same red colour as the scarlet walls. Holding Jedi-like weapons.

 

The room seemed to conjure up grotesque images in her mind. Of  _ pain _ and blood. She wondered how it was that Snoke would kill her.

 

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice.” Snoke said from his cold stone throne. “My faith in you is restored.”

 

Ren fell to his knees, head bowed. A show of subservience.

 

Snoke's gaze shifted eyes fixing upon hers. 

 

“Young Rey.” He said, mouth curving into a grotesque smile. “ _ Welcome _ .”

“Come closer child.” He instructed her. Rey however, come not bring herself to move.

 

“So  _ much _ strength. Darkness rises and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger his equal in the light would rise.”

 

Suddenly her lightsaber,  _ Luke's _ lightsaber, flew from Rens hand landing smoothly in Snoke's grasp. 

 

“Skywalker I assumed.” He said examining the lightsaber. Placing it beside him. “Wrongly.”

Snoke said probing her with his gaze.

 

“ _ Closer. _ I said” And suddenly she was being lifted like a doll. Weightless. A puppet to be manipulated. To choreograph.

 

Her arms and legs were frozen in place but she could speak. “You underestimate Luke Skywalker. And Ben Solo. And  _ me _ .” She shouted, rage rising up within her. “It will be your downfall.”

 

Snoke's mouth twitched. Voice full of amusement.

 

“Oh?” He said, voice mocking. “Have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice? Is  _ that _ why you came?” Snoke laughed. And then she realised. That he knew. Knew her already, her feelings, her desires, her intent. Without her even noticing, he had delved into her mind. 

 

“Young fool. It was  _ I _ who bridged your minds.  _ I  _ stoked Rens conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And  _ you _ not  _ wise _ enough to resist the bait. And now you will give me Skywalker.” He said menacingly. And I will kill you with the cruelest stroke.”

 

“No.” She spat out. Then suddenly she was pulled up even higher, body vertical to the floor, suspended.

 

_ “Yes.” _

 

She had been both impressed and frightened by Rens mental acuity. But  Snoke's was incomparable. He took and took, stripping away layer after layer of her thoughts consuming, her frozen limbs shaking from the sheer power of his assault. Her face contorted, an uncontrollable scream emanating from her body. She had never felt pain like this. 

 

“Give me  _ everything _ .”

 

Ren’s training had made her stronger, mind better equipped at blocking mental intrusions but here, now, she was no match for the Supreme Leader of the First Order. For Snoke.

 

Eventually for found what he wanted, letting her ragdoll body fall to the ground with a dull thump. 

 

“Well, well, I would not have thought Skywalker so  _ wise _ . We will give him and the Jedi Order the death he longs for. After the rebels are gone we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island.”

 

_ No. _ She whispered silently to herself, struggling to pull herself up. A haze of dizziness surrounding her. And pain. The pain of the fall, her bruised body. The inferno in her mind. But the anger inside her helped her to fight through the pain. She stood up shakily, facing the monster before her.

 

_ She had to do something _ .

 

She focused, concentrating on the Force around her. Calling her lightsaber to her. It shot towards her hands but before it reached her, it curved in a lazy arc, striking her against the temple. Returning to Snoke.

 

“So much _spunk._ ” He whispered admiringly.

 

Snoke turned to Ren.

 

“She would make a powerful servant of the dark. But as you can see she is too much of a liability. A shame.  _ The line would be strong _ .”

 

Ren met Snoke’s eyes for a moment, before his gaze returned to Rey.

 

“Look here now.” He said and suddenly Rey was once again, dragged across the floor frozen. She was pulled towards an oculus in the corner of the room. Through it she observed a fleet of transport ships being shot down by star destroyer cannons, one successive explosion after another. The ships erupting in an inferno of fire, lighting up the blackness of Space.

 

“The entire Resistance is on those transports,” Snoke said. “Soon they will all be gone... For  _ you _ , all is lost.”

 

_ Finn. Leia. Poe. They were all aboard those ships _ .

 

She blinked away tears.The anger rose up inside Rey. For a split second she freed herself from Snoke’s hold, whirling around. Pulling Kylo Ren’s saber from his belt. This time she managed to grab the saber. Igniting it. Dangerous and red.

 

“And still that fiery spit of hope,” Snoke said mockingly.

 

Rey took her opportunity and ran at him, swinging the saber wildly. The guards around him assumed a defensive stance.

 

“You have the spirit of a true Jedi.” Snoke laughed almost admiringly.

 

And then she was airborne. With a simple flick of his wrist Snoke had pushed her back so that she landed hard on her back saber flying from her hand. Landing before Ren.

 

“And because of that you  _ must _ die.”

 

Again she was pulled up, roughly. Spinning around in the air before being deposited in front of Ren. On her knees.

 

She turned to look at Ren but he refused to meet her eye.

 

“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense  _ resolve _ . Where there was weakness,  _ strength _ . Complete your training. And  _ fulfill _ .  _ Your _ .  _ Destiny _ .” 

 

Rey watched as Kylo picked up the lightsaber off the ground. His gloved hand shaking slightly. Advancing slowly towards her.

 

The fear rose up inside her, bitter. Nausea in the pit of her stomach. She gazed at Ren, pleading.

 

Finally he looked at her meeting her eyes. “I know what I have to do.” He said.

 

“Ben.”

 

Snoke laughed at her frantic whispering of Ren’s real name. 

 

“Oh you think you can turn him, pathetic child? I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his mind. I see his every intent.”

 

Snoke closed his eyes. Rey continued to stare, eyes pleading, at Ren. Breathing heavily. Ren turned the hilt of the saber to face towards her. This was it.  _ She was going to die _ . She felt the resignation grow inside her. Limbs growing heavy. Ren stared at her looking as if he was about to cry.

 

“Yes!” Snoke said. “I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true. And now, foolish child, he ignites it and kills his  _ true enemy _ .”

 

And then she heard a lightsaber being lit. And at the same time she fell, limbs suddenly able to move again. Free of Snoke’s control. She twisted around and gasped. Snoke was dead, impaled by a lightsaber. And she was still alive. Seemingly spared. By Kylo Ren.

 

She twisted around fast. Ren flicked his fingers and the lightsaber left Snoke’s body cleaving him in two. Rey caught it. Turning to stare at Ren. Meeting his eyes. His gaze burned into hers, shock also patterning his emotive eyes. She understood. Knew what she had to do. 

 

Rey spun. Her back against Rens. Clutching the saber. Turning to meet Snoke’s advancing guards.

 

She parried a blow from the nearest guard. Their weapons meeting, colliding in a crescendo of sparks. She screamed a war cry forming in her throat, twisting and weaving until her saber found purchase and suddenly, silently, the guard collapsed in silence.

 

Later there would be sadness, the acute pain of taking someone’s life. But not  _ now _ , now she was fighting to survive, caught in a whirlwind of adrenaline. 

 

She turned, searching for Ren in the maelstrom of chaos. He was still behind her, but a meter away battling two guards. Alive, weapon raised, singing through the air, dark energy roiling off him as he fought. For a moment she caught his eye. He met her gaze, his stare vivid, intense. For a split second she felt his emotions. 

 

_ He would have never let Snoke kill her. He couldn’t. It would be like destroying a part of himself. _

 

He fought beside her. Both striving for a common goal. Their survival. He was her lifeline. She concentrated on his energy, the contrasting dark to her light. Felt his emotions as her own. She twisted, saber blazing, incapacitating another guard.

 

In this moment she could feel Ren perfectly in the force, through the bond she had fought so valiantly to deny. To shut out. They fought in perfect synchrony, finally one.

 

Two more guards advanced on her with their Jedi-like weapons. Rey was surprised at how well Snoke had trained them. She parried a blow from the guards strange energy weapon and her saber immediately became stuck, the guard reeling her in like a fish on a line. The last minute she manage to twist away, pulling the saber through his chest. She turned to face the remaining guard. Snarling.

 

Splitting his staff in half he walked towards her, advancing slowly, whirling each baton. She swung at him. And then suddenly he had her, grabbing her. Pinning her shoulder. She couldn’t move her saber arm. Defenceless. She looked over at Ren to see him struggling, unarmed, trapped in a similar position.

 

Almost intuitively, she dropped the saber catching it with her other arm, cutting at the guards  knees. He dropped to the floor.

 

She looked over to find Kylo still struggling. She hesitated for a moment. Watching as the guards weapon lay just millimeters from his throat.  _ She could walk away. Leave now.  _ But the thought of Ren dead was something she couldn’t stomach _. No _ . She threw her lightsaber to him. He caught it, igniting it, burning through the guards helmet before promptly switching the weapon off.

 

For a moment everything was silent. The guards were all incapacitated or dead. Rey stood still frozen. Observing the massacre. But then she remembered.

 

She took off running to the edge of the room. She stared through the oculus to find the First Order still firing on the Resistance. She felt dizzy. Blood still pounding in her ears.

 

“Ben.” She shouted. “The fleet! There’s  _ still _ time. Order them to stop firing! There’s still time to save the fleet!”

 

But Ren did not rush over to help her. Instead he stood breathing heavily, observing the aftermath of their fight. A room full of malfunctioning machinery, and crimson clad bodies. Open fires burning chaotic and wild. Falling sparks.

 

_ “Ben?” _

 

“It’s time to let the old things die,” He said facing away from her.

 

_ Not this again. _

 

He turned to look at her “Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the rebels? Let it all die. Rey I want you to join me.” He said, reaching out his hand. “We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

 

In that moment she realised he never going to change. She could not  _ save _ him. Tears filled her eyes. 

 

“Don’t do this, Ben,” Rey said quietly. “Please don’t go this way.” She whispered. One more feeble attempt to sway his conscience, show him a path to the light.

“No, no, you’re you’re, still holding  _ on _ ,” He said, his face twitching. The anger rising within him, kinetic and volatile. “Let go.”

 

“No.” She said. “You’re the one who’s still holding on. The First Order, your anger. It’s not too late to embrace the light.”

 

“You don’t. Understand.” Kylo shouted at her.

 

She stared at him, a sadness filling her. This was not the Ren she liked, she goaded, she wanted. But a phantom ghost filled with darkness.

 

“You could come with me.” She said suddenly, surprised by her own words. “Away from both the First Order and the Resistance. Just us.” It was not what she wanted, to leave her friends behind, but she was cared enough about Ren to be able to do it. If it would spare the Resistance. Spare the galaxy. 

 

“But first you have to stop firing on those transports. It’s not too late.” She said staring at him.

 

“No.” He simply said.  _ No.  _ “This is how it has to be. Don’t you see! You are nobody, you came from nothing. But with me, you could be someone. By my side. You could be my Empress.” He stared deep into her eyes. “Rey. Rule beside me.”

 

Rey looked at him incredulously.

 

“Join me.” He held out his hand. Gloved in dark leather. Yearning in his eyes. “ _ Please _ .”

 

She stared at her fingers.

 

She looked down at her own hand, tanned and bare, before reaching out, stretching her arm towards his. Then suddenly as their fingers lay millimeters apart, her hands shot up defying him. Pulling the saber from his grasp.

 

_ Ren was lost. This is what she had to do. _

 

But before the saber reached her hand, Ren's hand shot up stopping the weapon in mid air. Pulling it back with an opposing force. Rey concentrated. She stared up at Ren to find him doing the same. Face scrunched up in determination. 

 

She pulled harder. Sweaty, breathless. Still riding a strange wave of adrenaline from the battle. .She could feel the kyber within the saber shivering.

 

_ She could do this. _

 

She pulled and pulled. Pulled so hard her head burned, body ached from the strain of it. And the suddenly she heard a crack. The lightsaber split. A crescendo of light and sparks and Rey found herself being thrown back, a bright whiteness searing her eyes. She hit the ground hard and fast, just as an explosion seemed to tear through the entire star destroyer, shaking her core. Her head filled with dizziness, the world fading away. Her sight darkening.

 

The blackness claimed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically this is a rehash of the throne room scene but hopefully you like it. I wrote it Abu Dhabi airport whilst I was a bit sleep deprived so I don't know if it's any good. Anyway only four more chapters to go now! I know how it's going to end! (Giggles maniacally). Thanks for sticking with this story. So I have a [tumblr](https://alliedreamsofthesea.tumblr.com/) now. Which I also made in Abu Dhabi airport. Dat' one hour free wifi you know. And i'm pretty proud of it as someone who is really technologically inept. So if you are interested in photos of my 9 mile hike then check it out :) Let's be friends.


	14. Raddus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Poe chapter. You know to tie things in the whole TLJ canon. This is my TLJ fic. If you purely want Reylo - I dunno ...skip this?

The whole affair was turning into a kriffing mess.

 

Poe doubted he’d survive the night. He _had_ always imagined he would die for the Resistance. In a shower of fire and light as his X-wing was blown apart. Spiralling, careening. Burning up from the inside as he spun out of control. Igniting in a shower of sparks. A hero’s death.

 

What he did not expect was to end up sitting in a storage hangar. Demoted. Fighters destroyed. Consumed by a nervous energy that he could not expend. Waiting. Watching as some purple haired woman with an air of superiority sacrificed their whole fleet to the First Order.

 

 _A trigger-happy flyboy._ That was what she had called him.

 

Poe looked around despondently. There were so few of them now. The Resistance. What was to become of them?

 

Connix stood beside him. She gripped his arm in what he imaged was meant to be a reassuring way. An expression of concern on her face.

 

“So what do we do _now_?” She asked him.

 

“We take control. And save the Resistance.” His eyes focused, looking meaningfully at the remaining members of the Resistance around him. Pava and Connix and Wexley. Staring them in the eyes.

 

_There was still Finn and Rose. There was still hope._

 

“ _So_. Who’s with me?”

* * *

 

Explosions rocked the base.

 

Members of the Resistance running and screaming. Jumping to avoid pieces of flaming debris that rained from the sky, buildings exploding. Poe ran for his X Wing, the sound of people dying filling his ears.

 

Around him chaos.

 

Poe however, remained calm, mouth set in a hard line. He primed the controls on his fighter. As the son of a Rebel Alliance Pilot, he had flown ever since he was a child. Had spent years fighting. For the New Republic and now the Resistance. His baptism of fire had occured many years ago.

 

It was time to do what he did best. Provide a distraction. He conjured up his usual obtrusive swagger. And flew out of D’Qar’s orbit, directly towards the lead destroyer, as Connix patched him into to the First Order comms.

 

Beside him BB8 beeped nervously, telling Poe that this was definitely a bad idea.

  
He laughed to dispel the nervousness inside him. “Happy beeps there, buddy. Come on... We've pulled crazier stunts than this.”

 _True._ But BB8 was right, approaching a star destroyer in a single X-wing was something akin to a suicide mission, he could be shot down at any moment.

  
Leia’s voice appeared over the com. “Just for the record, Commander Dameron, I'm with the droid on this one.”

Poe took a deep breath. “Thank you for your support, General.”

 

_Happy beeps._

 

“Attention!”  This is Commander Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet. I have an urgent communique for General Hugs.”

 

There was a crackle on the line, and then the voice of a man who obviously harboured a lot of repressed rage filtered through the speaker of communications system.

“This is General Hux of the First Order. The _Republic_ is no more. Your fleet are Rebel scum and war criminals. Tell your precious princess there will be no terms, there will be no surrender…”

 

Poe ignored the loathsome man, feigning ignorance.

“Hi, I'm holding for General Hugs.”

  
“This is Hux. You and your friends are doomed. We will wipe your filth from the galaxy!”

 

Poe paused. “Okay, I'll hold.”

“Hello?”

 

“Hello? Yup, I'm still here.”

  
“Can you— can he hear me?”

“Hugs? With an 'H'? Skinny guy? Kinda pasty?”

 

The man was obviously growing increasingly frustrated.

  
“I can hear you.” He spat. “Can you hear me?”

“Look, I can't hold forever. If you reach him, tell him Leia has an urgent message for him…”

  
There was silence on the line. A crackle.

  
“...about his mother.”

 

Poe heard a sharp intake of breath.

 

“OPEN FIRE!” Hux’s voice bellowed, but Poe was already away hurtling across the surface of the star destroyer, turning sharply into a tight corkscrew to avoid laser fire taking precisely targeted shots at the dorsal cannons.

 

He remembered his mother’s words. _Aim with your eyes not your hands._

 

He did not look at the controls once. To avert his eyes from the heavily armoured Star Destroyer would be a death sentence. Luckily Poe was not an amateur.

 

“One cannon left.” He shouted through his comm as a dozen fighters suddenly appeared on his tail.

 

“And here comes my parade.”

 

Poe rolled and twisted and accelerated through tight gaps and obstacles on the surface of the Star Destroyer to avoiding the sleek TIE fighters. He remembered from his escape from the First Order with Finn how well these things could move. He couldn't outrun the fighters or their fighters. But damn, he could out-fly them.

 

But Poe’s lack of fear had made him rash. He took a hit. The shock reverberating through the X-Wing.

 

“No,no, no. Damn it! BB8 my weapons system is down. Gotta take that last canon out otherwise our bombers are toast!” Poe could hear the little astrodroid’s frenetic beeping. He took a deep breath. BB8 had fixed worse damage before.

“Work your magic buddy.”

 

BB8 hurried to fix fuses.

 

Just then, amid the maelstrom, as he attempted to avoid fighters in close range, wrists hurting from the repetitive strain of his violent steering, Poe received an incoming message from Leia.

 

“You did it Poe. Now get your squad back here so we can get out of this place.”

 

_But Poe wasn’t done yet._

 

“No General we can do this! We have a chance to take out a dreadnought! Rey sent us those blueprints for a reason. These things are fleet killers!” Poe argued. “We can't let it get away.”

 

But Leia was insistent. “Disengage _now_ Commander. That is an _order_.”

 

Poe turned off his command drowning out the Generals protests.

 

He flew his X-wing towards the metal grid of a radar array, leading the pursuing TIE’s into a trap. He twisted, the slim body of his X-Wing speeding seamlessly through the slats. The bulkier fighters following him however... Well, the resounding explosions in his ears was information enough.

 

Only two TIE’s remained on his tail.

 

“Let's go BB8 it's now or never.”

 

With a few seconds to spare, the weapons system re-engaged, Poe firing at the final laser cannon. It exploded in a ball of fire which Poe used to conceal his ship, letting the two remaining fighters overtake him before quickly gunning them down.

 

“YEAH!” Poe celebrated. “Bring the bombs!”

 

The Resistance fleet of bombers were ready. Leia might have been the General of the Resistance but Poe knew every pilot from every division. They were all behind him. Sure Leia controlled the politics but when it came to military manoeuvres Poe held the power.

 

The bomber fleet came all the same. Whether the general approved it or not.

 

Poe knew they wouldn't have another opportunity like this. The fleet would discover that the Resistance had learnt the Star Destroyers weaknesses and they would act to remedy then. They only had one chance.He had to do this. For the Resistance. And for _Rey_. The mysterious Force sensitive he was yet to meet properly.

 

The bombers approached the destroyer in formation. Slow and heavy with munitions. They they almost at the target but progressing slowly. And more TIE fighters, at least four dozen suddenly appeared to meet them.

 

They were almost there. But the bombers were getting destroyed out there. Annihilated. Out of the original eight bombers, only one remained. Poe gritted his teeth. They had to do this. Had to succeed. Otherwise what had been the point? Apart from sacrificing their while fleet of bombers.

 

“Cobalt bombardier, why aren’t your bay doors open?” Poe shouted. “—Paige, come in!”

 

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors at the base of the bomber opened. Some technical malfunction. Poe guessed.

 

The bomber was getting ridiculously close to the weak spot. And it didn't look primed It was going to overshoot. And the First Order were charging their auxiliary canons. This was their only chance.

 

Poe felt panic rise up within him. They needed to do this. He was shaking. From both the adrenaline and the frustration.

 

“Drop the payload. Now!” He shouted into the com with all the power, all the breath that his lungs contained.

 

An explosion erupted that seemed to rupture his eardrums with its intensity and Poe's cockpit was bathed in orange light. He heard metal bend, shriek, and rupture, flames erupting from the surface of the destroyer like  a solar flare, spreading across the surface. A carpet of fire. It consumed the remaining bomber turning everything to ash. Poe had never seen something as terrible and beautiful as what lay before him. The destruction of a dreadnought. The death of a giant.

 

“We did it everyone.” He shouts into his com, pulling himself out of the stunned stupor, pulling his eyes away from the dark marvel of this man-made cataclysm.

“Punch it.” He shouted to BB8, landing in the hangar of the Raddus ungracefully, a second before the ship jumped to light speed.

 

He hopped out of his cockpit, happy for fresh air. The opportunity to stretch his legs again. He cracked his neck, stretched, feeling the tightness in his limbs. _Still alive_. In his line of work never knew which day would be has last.

 

It was time to see the General. Poe wondered what she would say to him. He hadn't heard of anyone taking out a Star Destroyer before. He wondered if she would give him a promotion. Even though had had disobeyed her, he imagined she would be pleased.

* * *

 

“You’re demoted,” Leia said. Slapping him. Her hand colliding with his jaw with a loud crack. His cheek burned.

 

“For what? A successful run? We took out a Dreadnought!”

 

Leia just looked at him with annoyance and a little sadness. Her eyes were serious. Mournful. “At what cost? Pull your head out of your cockpit!”

 

Poe protested. “You start an attack, you follow it through!”

 

Leia raised an eyebrow.

 

“And who told you to start it? We needed a distraction. That's all.” She sighed. “There are things you can’t solve by jumping in an X-wing and blowing something up Poe. I need you to learn that.”

 

“There were heroes on that mission,” Poe said, attempting to defend himself. What he had done, was for the good of the Resistance.

 

“Dead heroes,” Leia snapped. “And no leaders.”

 

They finally dropped out of hyperspace appearing in some large part of the middle of nowhere.

 

“We need to find a new base,” Leia said,surveying the blackness.

 

“One with enough power to get a signal to our allies scattered in the Outer Rim.” One of the other commanders added. D’Acy. Then Poe realised he _wasn’t_ a commander any more.

 

Leia nodded. “And most importantly, we need to get there undetected.”

 

And then suddenly a siren began to blare.

 

“A proximity alert!” shouted Ackbar.

 

“That can’t be,” Poe said. He took a sharp breath, shock and confusion overwhelming him. The coldness of dread.

“That’s Snoke’s ship. You’ve got to be kidding me. Can we jump to lightspeed?”

 

Connix met his eyes from across the room, where she sat at her workstation. “We have just enough fuel for one jump,” She said, the same confusion as his reflected in her eyes.

 

“Do it fast—we have to get out of here!”

 

Kaydel began to type into her console, but was interrupted by Leia.

 

“Wait.” The General said. She looked pale. “They’ve tracked us through hyperspace.”

 

Poe gasped, unwilling to embrace such an eventuality. “That’s… That’s impossible,”

 

Leia nodded grimly. “Yes, it is. And they’ve done it.”

* * *

 

Poe thought back to the events of the last twenty four hours. He had never imagined it would end like this. A blaster in his hand. Creeping through the corridors of the Raddus. Connix and others following behind. Planning a mutiny. Slowly making their way to the bridge. Stunning anyone that stood in their way.

 

He had always thought Leia to be wise. But naming Holdo as her successor? The Vice Admiral, had taken no action, thought of no battle strategies, no way out of this mess apart from fuelling up a couple of transports. She would have the Resistance sacrifice their whole fleet and run with their tails between their legs. It was a cowards plan. Luckily however Poe had Finn.

 

As soon as he had found out that the First Order was tracking them through hyperspace Finn had gone a little crazy. Well more than a just a _little_. Rey. Those were his first words. They were putting her in danger he said, eyes wild. They had to save Rey. She would follow the tracker to her doom, Finn had said gesticulating wildly. Then he had promptly disappeared.

 

Poe did not know the Rey girl, not enough to form an opinion about her at least. She appeared nice enough. And likely had more common sense than Finn, an attribute he was often lacking in. Yet Finn was one of his closest friends which meant if he wanted to desert the Resistance to save his friend, Poe would not stand in the way. Love was more important than war. He could not deny that truth.

 

Perhaps it was right to save her. The girl was the key according to Leia. She would lead a new generation of Jedi, and bring Luke back into the fold. But in a year she hadn't managed to do any of those things. Luke remained on Ach To. Apparently he had cut himself off from the Force, still years later reeling from Kylo Ren’s betrayal. Maybe Finn put too much faith into Rey.

 

Or maybe it was just that the Force made Poe uneasy. He had experienced its power first hand at the hand of Kylo Ren - Snoke's dark disciple. But still he was not a believer. He believed in fighters and flying. Strategy and heroic deeds. Not the mystical source of balance in the Universe.

 

But today he had seen some extraordinary things. Leia, floating through space. Willing her way from the clutches of death. She could have frozen out there becoming cold and lifeless but instead she was unconscious in a hospital bed. Somehow still alive after exposure to the vacuum of space.

 

_She had the Force._

 

No special tricks or laser swords. Leia was a politician, an activist. She was humorous, impeccably dressed and always drinking tea. She was, in many ways ordinary. So maybe the Force did live in all of then. Even Poe Dameron.

 

He had expected Poe to run but instead he had re-appeared less than an hour later with a girl with a round face and defiant eyes. Rose Tico. _How was it that Finn always so popular with the ladies?_

 

They had a plan. Finn and this mechanic. They could lose the First Order, Finn said excitedly. With Rose's mechanical knowledge and with his knowledge of the First Order they could for a short period disable the active tracking the First Order was using. Allowing the Resistance to jump to hyperspace within being followed. But it involved locating a master code breaker on Cantonica. Still… It was their best hope.

 

He and Connix had reached the bridge. The bridge Hold had had him forcing removed from. He pointed his blaster at the officers on deck.

 

“Get them down to the hangar.” He shouted to the men behind him. Hands up in surrender they were promptly escorted out. Poe prepared the cruiser for light speed travel.

 

“Ok Finn. Are you ready?”

 

“Almost there.” Said the voice on the command.

 

But sparks were flying from the doors guarding the bridge. Someone was forcefully trying to enter.

 

“Finn it has to be now.”

 

“Finn?”

 

But the line had gone dead.

 

Suddenly the door yielded sliding open in a cloud of smoke. Finn pointed his blaster at the entrance. Ready to shoot.

 

But when the smoke cleared he was met with a familiar face. It was Leia. He lowered his blaster.

 

“General Organa. You’re… you’re awake.”

 

“And you, Poe Dameron are a _fool_.”

 

Then the last thing he saw was the end of Leia’s blaster. Before he was flying backwards engulfed by a wave of unconsciousness.

* * *

 

Poe woke, his head reeling.

 

It took him a few moments to fully regain his thoughts but then it all came back to him, Holdo, the mutiny, Leia…shooting him?

 

He looked around. This wasn't the Raddus. All around him were members of the Resistance packed together in a small space. He scrambled up to gaze through one of the viewports. The remains of the Resistance fleet was out there. Growing rapidly smaller as the escape transports travelled further away.

 

“No.” He shouted.

 

He looked around wildly. Connix stood behind him. She met his eyes.

 

Where was the General?

 

Then suddenly he saw her, back in her normal clothes.

 

“The fleet! We’re sacrificing the fleet!”

 

“Yes. But at least we are safe.”

 

“Safe? Where do we go now. We have no plan.”

 

“Poe!” Leia said with exasperation. “Look!”

 

He again pressed his face into the viewport. Looking in the direction Leia was pointing in.

 

And then he saw something. A shadow of a planet in the distance. Illuminated with a halo of pale white.

 

“What is that?” Poe asked. “There are no systems anywhere near us.”

 

“No charted ones, no,” Leia said. “But there are still a few shadow planets in deep space. In the days of the Rebellion we used them as hideouts.”

 

“The mineral planet Crait,” Commander D’Acy said.

 

“There’s a rebel base there?” Poe asked.

 

“Abandoned but heavily armored. With enough power to get a distress signal to our allies scattered in the Outer Rim.”

 

Poe looked back between the general and D’Acy.

 

“Oh.” He said. Finally realising what Holdo had been trying to do the whole time.

 

“The First Order’s tracking our big ship. They aren’t monitoring for small transports.”Leia said with an explanatory smile.

 

“We’ll slip down to the surface and hide unnoticed until they pass,” he said. “It’ll work.” _As long as the First Order kept their attention fixed on the Raddus._

 

“Why didn’t she tell me?” He said looking at the General, confused. Feeling like an idiot.

 

“The fewer who knew, the better,” she said. “Protecting the light was more important to her than looking like a hero.”

 

“I think I underestimated her.” Poe said to Leia.

 

She nodded and Poe sat down, tired and a little dizzy from the stun blast. From the last twenty-four hours.

 

The fleet of emergency transports cruised closer to closer to the planet. Holdo’s plans was working. They would make it to the base unseen.

 

But then, with no warning it all went wrong. They First Orders turned their ventral cannons and began firing on their transports. Somehow they knew the Resistance plan.

 

The transports had no shields and moved lethargically. Sluggish. There was no escape from this. They were being picked off one by one, unable to evade the laser-fire, These ships weren’t meant to be aerodynamic.Just to carry as many people as possible. Poe watched as transport after transport was incinerated, until he couldn’t stand it no longer, rushing over to the pilot.

 

“Give it full thrusters! Full speed!” he urged.

 

“I am, sir,” came the reply.

 

So there was no hope. Poe pushed his head into his hands and waited to die.

* * *

 

There were only six transports left and it was pure luck that he and the General were still alive. Beside him Kaydel looked pale. She leaned over and gripped his hand. He placed his other hand on hers and gripped it tight. Neither of them spoke. It was the sort of moment that would only be ruined by words.

 

Suddenly however, Kaydel loosened her grip pulling her hand from his. Her attention fixed on the viewport. Something was happening. The Raddus was turning.

 

“Holdo.” Kaydel said voice tinged with betrayal. “She’s running away...”

 

But Poe had come to understand the Admiral. Know her better than that.

 

“No she isn't.”

 

He knew what she was going to do. She was priming the hyperdrive.

 

The Raddus lept to hyperspace, suddenly disappearing. But not to run. Not with that trajectory. The jump was directed purposely into the path of the Enemy. At the same moment that Holdo disappeared, a jagged line of smoke and flame appeared. She has carved the Supremacy and half of the First Order fleet in half.

 

The firing stopped.

 

 _Holdo was dead_.

 

And then it hit him. A sudden realisation dawning on Poe. That being a hero wasn't just running blindly into  the inferno. Pig-headed and brave. No, it was much more than that. Heroism was sacrifice. That’s what Holdo was doing. Sacrificing herself so others may go on and live.

 

He lowered his head in silence. Finn and Rose were aboard the Supremacy. And now likely dead. He prayed for his friends as the planet of Crait loomed before him growing ever larger.

 

The transports landed in a hangar of the old Rebel base, that smell of must and disuse. And also, strangely enough, salt.

 

But despite the damage to their fleet the First Order still knew where they were, he realised. They would come for the Resistance. This wasn't the end.

  
The fight was only just _starting_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled to write this. It's a tying up loose plot ends chapter and i'm tryna tie loose ends. Hence Poe. It's basically the plot of TLJ. I know I lack creativity (cries silently). I have big ideas for a new fic though...  
> 


	15. Hostility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are getting long so no more dual POV.

 

Kylo woke suddenly. Jolting upwards with a sharp intake of breath. He was lying on the floor, cold black marble, coated with ash. The acrid smell of burning filled his nostrils.

 

He looked up, and was met with an unpleasant sight. Hux. The general loomed over him. Red high in his cheeks and a hand in his robe that looked suspiciously like he was grasping for a weapon.

 

“What. Happened.” Hux hissed, his mouth curling into a stiff grimace. He looked as if he was in pain. Despite the near constant abuse he had received from the Supreme Leader, Ren wondered if perhaps Hux had genuinely cared for Snoke.

 

“The girl murdered Snoke.” He said, without hesitation.

 

Kylo had always been a terrible liar, his face forever betraying his emotions. The _truth_ . But that no longer mattered. Rey _had_ murdered Snoke. She hadn’t performed the killing blow, but she might as well have. He would of never thought of killing Snoke if it wasn’t for her.  He had to, in order to save her life. Anyway, he had always been faithful to the First Order. So who was Hux to question his loyalty?

 

He surveyed the room. Everything was burning. In disarray. Something had happened to the Supremacy.

 

“What happened?”

 

Hux’s lip curled, unwilling to discuss the cataclysm that had befallen the First Order fleet. “She took Snoke's escape craft.” He replied simply.

 

 _Hux knew. Knew he cared about the girl._ Kylo watched him silently as he reveled in the scavengers betrayal.

 

“We know where she's going. Get all our forces down to that Resistance base; let's finish this.” He commanded.

 

Nothing mattered. Only her. Rey. He needed to find her, take his revenge.

 

“Finish this?” Hux shouted. Face painted with disgust. “Who do you think you're talking to? You presume to command my army?! Our Supreme Leader is dead! We have no ruler!”

 

Slowly,, subtly Kylo curved his hand, pressing his thumbs towards his fingers. Hux coughed, making a number of strangled gasps. His face turning even more red. Kylo met his eyes. Inferring the new hierarchy. ”The Supreme Leader...is _dead_.”

 

“Long live the Supreme Leader.” Hux spat, coughing, his eyes full of loathing.

 

Kylo released his force grip. If he wanted to keep his life, Hux would _comply_.

 

Hux retreated to carry out his orders, leaving Kylo feeling alone and shocked.

 

Anger coursed through his veins. And triumph. He was the new Supreme Leader. The First Order was his. He had secretly imagined this moment, in his dreams, but now, standing in the present he simply felt hollow.

 

His victory felt empty, without the scavenger girl, without her. _Rey_. His stomach cramped, a physical manifestation of his loss. Of course she had woken first. Another cruel joke on the part of the cosmic force. He felt sick.

 

He had killed Snoke for her. And then offered her everything. The whole galaxy. The chance to rule by his side. Instead she had rejected him. Snatching Luke’s saber from the floor with the Force. Always quick to violence. And he, he had pulled back. They were perfectly matched.

 

Then the blinding light. The blackness. And Hux. But no sign of Rey.

 

Kylo swallowed the lump forming in his throat. She had left. Like she'd threatened to do. He tried to reach out to her in the Force, but was met with nothing. She was truly gone. Kylo punched the wall, rubbing errant moisture from his eyes.

 

He marched to the turbolift, clutching his sore fist. Focusing on the pain, the anger inside him. He would need it to destroy the Resistance.

 

The doors closed with a soft whoosh and he was alone in the enclosed space of the lift. Last time Rey had been with him. _His prisoner_. She had pled with him. Plead to the boy inside him. The light. But Ben Solo had always been a hindrance. A lie.

 

Yet there was something about her. Rey. She had invaded his mind, with those doe eyes, wearing away at his sanity. And when it came to it, he could not let Snoke kill her. She was his weakness. Had been ever since he first laid eyes on her. He could not lose her. Not after everything. He would _retrieve_ her. Even though her rejection burned him.

 

He no longer cared what she wanted, he _needed_ her. The traitorous scavenger bitch. She would come to understand his way of things.

 

But first he would execute her Resistance friends. End this war once and for all.

 

The doors of the turbolift opened and he exited into the cargo bay, boarding his command shuttle. The engines were primed along a freighter carrying two dozen fighters, ten walkers and a battering ram canon. However thick the shielding of this Rebel base was, they would break in. He gave the pilot a command. They took off in pursuit of the Resistance. To Crait.

* * *

 

 

Landing on Crait they assumed attack formation, Walkers advancing slowly toward the base.

 

No sign of the Resistance. Perhaps they thought that they could hide in their base. He would crack those blast doors open, as if they were made of brittle glass. This was going to be easy.

 

But then, suddenly, a dozen or so Resistance appeared, flying some sort of primitive craft, carving bloody trails of red into the salt crusted earth of the mineral planet. Each possessed a leg like protrusion. Were those _Ski-speeders_?

 

Kylo laughed at the Resistance's pitiful attempt to fight. Realising their plan. They were trying to attack the cannon. In those old Rebel Ski-speeders. A laughable attempt. Behind the speeders they also fired cannon fire at the Mega-caliber Walkers. He guess he should applaud them for their bravery. Still it was only a matter of time till they were defeated by the First Order's superior weapons and larger forces.

 

“Thirteen incoming light craft,” Hux said beside him. He could still sense the man's loathing. Strong and unabating. “Shall we hold until we clear them?”

 

“No,” Kylo replied, his tone surprisingly calm despite the inferno within. “Push through. The Resistance is in that mine. This is the end.”

 

Hux commanded the TIE pilots to attack and suddenly everything was a maelstrom, poppy like blooms of dust exploding from the earth as Resistance pilots manically swerved to avoid the volley of fire. Speeders crashing and exploding as the earth bled. One by one they were picked off, their inferior craft submitting to First Order artillery. Becoming another wreckage on the cherry ground.

 

Despite himself, Kylo smiled. Where would Rey hide without the Resistance to shoulder her.

 

And then suddenly he saw the shadow of _it_ on the ground. Saucer shaped and imposing. His father’s ship. Shooting his fighters out of the sky with impressively precise shots. He didn’t need to see to know who was inside. He could sense her. Rey.

 

_She wasn’t hiding._

 

His stomach turned.

 

“Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!” Kylo screamed.

 

“All fighters on that ship.” Hux ordered.

 

And with that, the Millenium falcon disappeared from view, all of the First Orders TIE craft in pursuit.

 

With all the TIE’s gone the remaining Ski-speeders advanced on the cannon.

 

“All firepower on those speeders!” he ordered.

 

“Concentrate all fire on the speeders!” yelled Hux. Mimicking him, struggling to assert his dominance.

 

Kylo gave him a foul look.

 

More speeders fell.

 

But despite all of their fire, three speeders prevailed, continuing their approach. However, it no longer mattered. The cannon was charged.

 

_Time was up._

 

“General Hux advance. No quarter. No prisoners.”

 

The blast doors had been blown open. The base was theirs. But something, _someone_ was emerging from the entrance to the base. Illuminated by a halo of flame. Kylo’s breath caught.

 

“STOP.” He commanded.

 

Mouth agape as he stared from above in his command shuttle, at the face of his greatest enemy. His teacher. The man who had tried to kill him.

 

Luke Skywalker.

* * *

 

 

“I want ...every gun we have to fire on _that_ man.” Kylo said. His mouth dry.

 

Hux hesitated.

 

“Do it.”

 

The general nodded and each walker turned to fire on the same spot.Ground exploding in a crescendo of red. On and on it went.

 

“More.” Kylo howled. Fist curled. “MORE.”

 

After a minute or so of continued laser fire, Hux came up behind him and growled in his ear.

 

“That’s enough.”

 

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” He shouted at the commanders visibly disheveled.

 

The laser fire ceased.

 

“Do you think you got him?” Hux said to him, voice berating.

 

Kylo hung his head taking deep breaths. Willing the torrent of rage inside him to dissipate.

 

“Now we are ready to get moving. We can _finish_ this.”

 

“Sir?” One of the pilots muttered nervously.

 

There was a shape in the smoke. As the haze of red dust settled. He emerged. Skywalker.

 

Alive.

 

 _Impossible._ Kylo’s upper lip began to twitch.

 

Bring me down to him,” he ordered the pilot. “And don’t advance our forces until I say.”

 

Beside him Hux sniffed. “Supreme Leader, don’t be distracted!” Hux urged. “Our goal is to kill the Resistance! They’re helpless in the mine, but every moment we waste—”

 

Kylo no longer cared about the Resistance. He only had one goal now. _Destroy Luke Skywalker._

 

Shaking with anger. Kylo focused on the Force, seizing Hux, and throwing him into the wall. He hit the wall with a loud crack. He did not get up.

 

He looked at the next highest person in command threateningly.

 

“Right away, sir,” the shuttle commander said without a second of hesitation.

* * *

 

 

Kylo looked at his old master. At his solemn eyes. His bearded face, streaked with grey. He’d gotten old.

 

“Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul?” Kylo mocked, biting out the words.

 

Luke smiled in amusement. Raising his eyebrows. “No.”

 

Realising he wasn’t going to get an explanation. Kylo ignited his lightsaber.

 

Luke followed, lighting his own weapon. It shone a bright unwaring blue. As his own once had.

 

 _But things had changed_.

 

Kylo ran at Luke swinging his saber ferociously. Wild with sorrow and rage and betrayal.

 

Luke deflected him easily. Not even moving from his original spot. Turning to face him once more. Watching him with in intense sorrowful gaze. One that Kylo could not abide.

 

Once again he charged and once again he missed.

 

Images of his childhood rose up from inside his mind. His absent father. His mother’s weary eyes. The first time he had used the Force to push his parents apart as they screamed at each other. The fights were a regular occurance in their home. Sometimes little Ben would wish his father was away more. They were civil when away from each other, communicating via holo. It was only when they were in the same room that everything went wrong.

 

He remembered being shipped off to train with Luke at seven, his parents no longer knowing what to do with him. His outbursts had become more noticeable. And his mother was a senator. Noticeable wasn’t good. So he had become an example.The universe needed to heal after the influence of the Empire. The universe needed Jedi.

His fate was not for him to choose.

 

The ageing Jedi told him he did not have enough focus. That there was too much anger inside him. A Jedi needed to be compassionate, but nothing Uncle Luke said could quell the fire within him. He remembered the first time Luke had shown him combat forms, as he clutched a wooden staff meant to mimic a lightsaber. He had run for the man, ready to strike. He was fast. Yet Luke was as agile as a feather in the wind, easily avoiding his blows. _You’re too rash Ben_ , Luke had said. _You need to learn to understand your opponent._ But Kylo Ren did not understand Luke. He had grown to love his Uncle, trust him. The one constant in his life. And then, one night, he had woken to his master standing above his bed, holding a lightsaber above him. Ready to strike.

 

Finally Luke spoke. “I failed you Ben. I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sure you are.” Kylo snapped. “The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I’ll have killed the last Jedi.”

 

Luke stared back at him unfazed.

 

“Amazing,” he said. “Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.”

 

_Rey._

 

“I will destroy _her_ , you, and all of it.”

 

Luke smiled. Extinguishing his lightsaber.

 

“No,” he said. “Strike me down in anger and I’ll always be with you. Just like your father.”

 

Kylo’s mouth twitched and he gripped the saber harder and then with a cry he ran for Luke, swinging his lightsaber through the middle of his unarmed opponent. He came to a stop sliding in the salt. He turned. There had been no resistance. No blood. It was if he had cut through air.

 

Kylo walked slowly towards Luke holding his saber out before him. It penetrated the man’s chest but instead of causing hard it only caused a distortion in the light.

 

“NO!” He screamed.

 

“See you around kid.” Luke replied before fading into nothing.

 

Kylo roared at the empty ground before him. It had all been a cheap trick. A distraction to let the Resistance get away. He ran, ran into the base. But it was empty. Silent. _Abandoned_ . They were gone. It was too late the track them. And _Rey. She had left him too._

 

But then, for just a moment he saw her before him. Rey. As clear as day. She turned and stared, alarm flashing across her eyes, but then her expression settled. And she held his gaze, breathing hard, before her mouth formed a line. Her eyes flinty and cold. She hit something beside her, a button he guessed, and then faded from his view. _Forever._

 

 _There would be no goodbyes._ He knew that. Not after everything he had done.

 

He turned returning to his command shuttle. Before him stood several generals including Hux who stared at him with a hateful gaze. Kylo swallowed. The First Order's failure today had been his responsibility. He spun on his heel avoiding eye contact and headed for the bathroom. Slamming the door.

 

Once inside he shrugged he pushed his head into his hands breathing heavily. The Resistance was gone. Rey was gone. He had nothing. _Nothing._

 

The gazed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His lip still trembled. Ugly, said the voice inside his head. Weak. He curled his gloved hand into a fist and punched the mirror using all his strength. It shattered into a hundred jagged pieces, silver slivers littering the floor. A tear fell down his cheek.

 

He had never felt so helpless, so... _alone_.

 

He had killed Snoke, becoming the new Supreme Leader. No more orders, no more punishments. He was free. The First Order was _his_ . So why did he still feel so _trapped_?

 

He took off his outer cloak, wrapping it into a ball.

 

He pushed his face against it. His mouth. And howled, and howled and howled tears flowing freely down his face. He let them, let out the pain he had suppressed for so long, until the sobs abated and his hiccupy breaths settled and he was once again empty.

 

He stared at the door calmy willing himself to emerge.

 

_Kill the past. Let it die._

 

He had to forget the scavenger girl. It was time for a new order.

 

But forgetting would not be easy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't working today so I actually sat down today for like two hours and wrote. Pretty pleased with this chapter. I feel locking himself in a bathroom is a very Kylo thing to do. Lol. And the smashing stuff of course. Though i'll probably read it a week from now and be like 'ugh'...
> 
> Anyways if you like my little angst baby, please write me. Comments are love. Also check out my [tumblr](https://alliedreamsofthesea.tumblr.com). It's not super reylo-ey but I have other interests. 
> 
> Music inspo for this chapter: goo.gl/32WEGZ
> 
> Will post the last two chapters this week. There will be a twist.


	16. Saviour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel sorry for Kylo, I mean everybody keep contemplating his murder. Also Rey hates Porgs.

 

Rey woke, her head ringing, a horrible pain behind her eyes. Her body ached all over.

 

She scrambled up onto her arms and knees, surveying the scene around her. It was chaos. The throne room, an arena of charred machinery of smouldering flame. The floor littered with the bodies of Praetorian guards. Ash rained down onto her shoulders. She coughed involuntarily, gagging on the smoke filled air.

 

And then she saw him. _Ren_. His dark hair and clothing blending in with the black marble. A singularity in a sea of crimson.

 

Unconscious, he didn’t look dangerous. A boy, rather than the political extremist who wished to conquer the galaxy. The dark Force user. She crossed the floor, stepping over the bodies of the deceased praetorian guards. She did not want to look, to regard their lifeless forms. She had killed some of them. Only out of self defense, but regardless, the sight of their stiff corpses tore Rey apart.

 

None of this had to happen. Wouldn’t of happened if Ren hadn’t brought her to Snoke.

 

Maybe he should have just let Snoke kill her.

 

_What was it that had changed his mind?_

 

Standing over Ren, she regarded him with a mixture of sadness and confusion. She eyed the crossguard saber that lay beside him. Slowly, tentatively, she picked it up, feeling it’s weight in her hand. It was heavier than Luke’s, lacking the balance of the Jedi Masters weapon. The refinement.

 

Snoke was dead. That meant now only Ren remained to lead the First Order. She paused, regarding the saber in her hands. _She could end it now. The galaxy would be a better place without him, wouldn’t it?_

 

She ignited the saber. While Luke’s weapon seemed to fit her perfectly, tactile in her hands, this weapon was made for someone larger. Imposing. The kyber beam undulated wildly, raw and unrefined. She stared at the red beam and raised the saber. Her hands shook.

 

 _Utilitarianism._ That is Ren had told her the reasoning behind the Death Star was. The needs of the many outweighing the few. How many peoples lives would be better without Kylo Ren. She blinked rapidly, attempting to expel the moisture from her eyes. _Silly girl. What kind of person_ _feels tenderness towards a monster.?_

 

The blade shook, slipping in her sweaty hands. Her arms ached from holding it above her. From postponing the blow. She _could_ do this. She _could_ kill him. She could end the war.

 

The tears flowed freely now. Dripping down her cheeks.

 

_Why was it, that curled on the floor, unconscious, he looked so helpless?_

 

She thought back to Ren’s memories of Luke standing over him, contemplating murder. And the burden of that decision. The regret Luke carried with him always. Maybe her and the Jedi master had more in common than she thought. She imagined herself growing disillusioned and old. A hermit. _No._ She had to be better than this. A true Jedi would never attack an unarmed opponent. She could not give in to the dark.

 

She extinguished the saber letting it slip from her hands, clattering to the floor. A cry escaped her lungs. An empty sob.

 

Millions would be better off without Kylo Ren, but not _her_.

 

He had killed Snoke. He had saved her life. That meant _something_. It had to.

 

As she stood frozen, she heard the sounds of metal twisting and groaning. Rubble falling. Great crashes and wails. Suddenly herself again, she ran over to the console at the edge to the throne room, changing the walls from red to clear. She gazed out into space.

 

 _Something was wrong._ She realised.

 

One side of the Supremacy had been cleaved apart. Rubble floated in the vacuum and where there was still oxygen, fires flared, consuming.

 

The Star Destroyer still flew, cruising through the air, but hardly. She could feel the vibration in the floor. A behemoth slowly disintegrating. As a former scavenger, Rey knew what would occur. The engines would fail. The ship being slowly pulled into the gravity of the nearest planet, where it would become scrap. Pickings for the poor.

 

She did not know what could tear a Star Destroyer apart like that, but Rey wouldn’t wait to find out. _She had to leave._

 

Picking up the two broken halves of Luke’s saber, she turned to leave, taking one last look at him.

 

Then she exited the throne room.

* * *

 

 

After navigating a maze of corridors Rey inexplicably found herself in Snoke’s chambers. A number of weapons decorated the walls. As well as Old Republic art. Snoke had been a collector.

 

In the corner however, there was also a reinforced glass alcove. A circular shaped airlock. Inside primitive starship controls. _A escape shuttle._

 

Roomier than the one she had arrived in.  

 

Overriding the controls she entered the shuttle. Calculated a trajectory towards the nearest planet. The one the Resistance had been heading to. She located the comm’s unit, typing in the Millennium Falcon’s encrypted frequency.

 

“Chewie, I really hope you are listening right now. I need you to intercept this shuttle. This thing doesn't have shields and I really don’t want to be burnt up in this planet's atmosphere.”

 

Then, breathing in deeply. She pressed the release.

 

The shuttle shot out of the airlock, whizzing through space, the planet looming closer and closer. Rey closed her eyes and prayed.

 

As she careened towards the edge of the atmosphere, the shuttle grew hotter and hotter. Her cheeks blazed. She was flying too fast now, gravity growing stronger and stronger. She couldn’t breathe. The G-force was too strong. Rey grew dizzy, feeling drunk and strange before quickly losing all coherent thought.

 

And then everything went black.

* * *

 

 

“Aguhwwgggghhh!”

 

Someone was shaking her.

 

Rey opened her eyes slowly. Fighting the tiredness, the darkness that pulled at her, attempting to drag her back into the abyss.

 

As the world came back to her she was greeted by the face of a concerned Wookie, keening loudly in Shyriiwook. Rey mouth curved into a smile she could not contain.

 

“Chewie!” She cried, leaping up, and wrapping her arms around his soft body. She leaned into his chest, his familiar warmth. Chewie rumbled happily.

 

“Huuguughghg uughguughhhghghghhhgh.” _Long time no see_.

 

“I’m here now,” she whispered. “We need to help the Resistance. The First Order...” She swallowed, thinking about Ren. “They are still after them.”

 

He was awake. She could sense it. And he was looking for revenge. For violence. For _her_.

 

“Rrguugh.” Chewie growled in agreement.   


 

A high pitched shriek of alarm came from from the cockpit.

 

“Chewie. What was that?” Rey said, concerned.

 

Approaching the controls she saw nothing other than a Porg.

 

One of those silly orniforms she had begrudgingly tolerated while on Ach To. They were forever stealing her dinners of fish (she refused to drink that blue milk) and interrupting her training.

 

“Arrhhrggg raaaaaahhgh huurh.”

 

“What do you mean _converted to vegetarianism_?” Rey said, astonished.

 

Chewie shrugged and the Porg screeched, regarding her with distrust.

 

Rey had originally wanted to fly, but she had no tolerance for Porgs.

 

“I’ll take the gunner seat. You fly.” She instructed.

 

Chewie nodded, starting up the engines.

 

Rey gazed at the tracker on her wrist. It was still operational, meaning Leia was alive.

 

She knew where to go.

 

“North-east Chewie, the Resistance are north-east.”

 

But she needn’t have given him directions, as there was already fire on the horizon, marking the presence of the First Order.

* * *

 

In the distance the Resistance were being attacked by both half a dozen walkers and a numbers of TIE craft. Chewie hit the accelerator, speeding towards them.

 

“They’re taking heavy fire.” Rey said. “We have to destroy as many of those TIE’s as we can!”

 

Chewie growled in acknowledgement and twisted the ship to give her a better angle to shoot from. He was a rather impressive pilot.

 

“Good one Chewie! Now to the left.”

 

Re began to pick off fighters one by one, carving a path for the Resistance speeders.

 

She fired again, managing to destroy three TIE’s in one shot.

 

Rey cheered in triumph, picking another three off. And then suddenly, all the remaining fighters turned, beginning to pursue her craft.

 

“Chewie peel off at the back, draw them away from the speeders!” Rey shouted.

 

And then suddenly they were hurtling for the mountains, a dozen TIE’s still on their trail. Chewie dived down a crevasse and them suddenly they were inside a mineral cave, red crystal formations of either side of them. Chewie flipped the Falcon on its side into an even narrow crack. The pursuing TIE’s struggling to follow them. Rey's gun caught against the cave wall spitting sparks. Glowing white hot from the friction.

 

“CHEWIE!”

 

Chewbacca turned and swerved until Rey’s canon was free. She shot down the closest fighter. One by one the pursuing TIE’s crashed or fell back. Until there was only one remaining. Chewie then accelerated the craft into the ceiling of the cave bursting into the sky in a shower of red crystal.

 

Abandoning the gunners seat now all the TIE's had been dealt with. Rey plugged the beacon into the console. R2 powering on, to trace the signal.

 

“If the beacon is right beneath us they’ve got to be somewhere!" Rey told the droid. “Keep searching for lifeforms R2” She instructed as they sped across the mountain range.

 

And then she saw a dozen foxes emerge from the cave. The local wildlife, running as if to escape the bombardment...The Resistance, they must be following them through the caves, Rey thought to herself.

 

“I see them Chewie. There…” She pointed at where the foxes had emerged.

 

Chewie engaged the thrusters, decelerating and landing.

 

However, when she reached the exit, all she saw was a landslide of rocks. Gaps wide enough for foxes to escape. But not people.

 

“Lifting rocks.” She muttered to herself, shaking her head. _Typical._

 

She closed her eyes, attempting to focus.

* * *

 

 

She had been aiming for a single rock, but when she pushed, lifting with the Force, all of them rose simultaneously.

 

Rey stared mouth agape, wondering how she had just achieved such a feat. She had never been this strong before.

 

And sure enough, with the path clear, the Resistance emerged. Weary and bedraggled, but equally awestruck by the spectacle.

 

She spotted Finn at the head of the party and smiled, relief and happiness painting her face. He ran for her and she immediately hugged him, curling into his familiar embrace. She closed her eyes, feeling at peace.

 

She helped the Resistance onto the Millenium Falcon before reaching for the door hatch.

 

And the she felt him. _Kylo Ren._

 

He was on his knees. He gazed up at her, in shock as if she was both at once the sun and some dark spectre haunting him. His gaze was tortured. A mixture of surprise, loathing and defeat. His lip trembled.

 

 _No_ . This shouldn’t be happening. Snoke was _gone_ . Yet he was still there. _In her mind_.

 

She pressed her lips together scowling. He had hurt her friends. Delivered her to Snoke. It was not her responsibility to care anymore. To save him.

 

She hit the door catch, forcing him from her mind.

 

She hoped not to see him again, but somehow knew the odds were not optimistic.

 

Aboard the Falcon, Chewie primed the hyperdrive, promptly bursting into the vastness of space, they did not want to risk being tracked by the First Order again. Meanwhile the Resistance were embracing happy to have escaped with their lives.

 

Rey was reunited with BB8 who promptly launched into a conversation about his new antenna in binary speak.

 

“Looks good.” Rey said, grinning.

 

A good looking man approached her. BB8’s owner she supposed.

 

“Hi, i’m Poe.” He said to her, looking at her with a little too much wonder.

 

“Rey.” She replied.

 

“I know.”

 

She looked over at Finn in the corner. He was looking at an unconscious girl with tenderness, covering her with a blanket. He stroked her face. Rey reckoned she had seen the girl before, somewhere in her dreams.

 

As she continued to gaze at Finn, Leia came and sat before her. Rey turned her attention toward the General. She took a deep breath

 

“Luke is gone,” Rey said. “I felt it. But it wasn’t sadness or pain. It was peace. And purpose.”

 

His passing had not been a sad occurrence, but Rey still did not know how to feel. About any of it.

 

The General nodded. “I felt it, too.”

 

How do we build a Rebellion from this.” Rey whispered. Compared to D’Qar, so few now remained.

 

The General touched Rey’s hand gently, looking into her eyes.

 

“Don’t worry. We have everything we need.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you wookietranslator.com for all the great Chewbacca dialogue. :D


	17. Requiem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE END IS NIGH. No literally, this is the final chapter. Hope you like it. It contains some major angst.
> 
> Also it's in Rey's POV. Cause it's uh, meant to be an epilogue etc.

** Three months later **

 

She still thought about him.

 

Ben Solo. _No._ Kylo Ren. There was no Ben Solo. She had been mistaken.

 

_He haunted her dreams._

 

Not figuratively, but _really_. The Force bond still remained between than. She could sense his anger, his confusion and sometimes his loss. She saw him occasionally, just glimpses, before she pushed him out of her mind. He looked at her as if she was a ghost, some phantom thing. A presence sent to taunt him. Rey guessed she thought the same about him. But there it was. Ever flowing between them. A bitter undercurrent of sadness. The sharp sting of the misunderstanding the rest of the world afforded them. Two lone Force users. A dying species.

 

She wondered sometimes if she missed him. _Her captor._

 

He had understood the otherworldly thing that lived within her. The weight that being Force-sensitive bore on her. And something else. Her yearning. Yearning for all that she had lost. But so had _Luke_. And Luke was dead. Another sacrifice for the Resistance. What was she prepared to sacrifice?

 

Rey would sit there, asking herself these questions, trapped within a prison of her own endless cyclical thoughts during her daily meditations. She could no longer empty her head, transport herself to that place of calm where she was a wave slowly breaking, emotions flowing through her like glass. _No_ , now all of it burdened her. She used to be able to empty herself but now, _now_ it was as if she felt _too_ much.

 

_She couldn’t control it._

 

The flares of anger and shame, oscillations between emotions. She thought she was better than this. She thought back to the night she had spent with him. Her desire for him had been deep, primal. Like a simple beast looking to breed. And it still existed somewhere. Deep inside her. An _itch_ , a compulsion.

 

At night she paced the corridors of the Millennium Falcon. She had to get off this ship.

 

Three months. Three months of wandering around the old freighter. Three months of being trapped inside a sardine can with forty other people. Three months of trying to catch some sleep lying between the mass of unwashed bodies in the cargo bay, being woken by someone-or-another's dissonant snores. There were not enough bunks for them all. Instead sleepless, she wandered.

 

Rey was adrift.

 

Even so, everyone smiled at her, treating her with both respect and awe. The rock-moving saviour. Throughout it all however, she felt detached. Poe tried to talk to her every day and she indulged him, laughing at his jokes. But she would always creep off as soon as she could. She had bigger things to worry about. And even with her closest friend Finn, she had begun to feel like a stranger. Even he seemed to be moving on. Visiting Rose in the med-bay every day as she slowly recovered.

 

Tonight though as she paced the corridors, insomnia gripping her, she was not alone.

 

The General sat at the table, where Rey had, once upon a time, played dejarik with Chewie. She wore a thin dressing gown, that draped artfully over her limbs, a veneer of elegance despite her obvious tiredness. She raised her eyes and looked up at Rey.

 

“Your friends. They worry about you.”

 

Rey smiled a sad smile. “They shouldn't. I’m fine. There are bigger things to worry about.”

 

“Than your happiness?” The General frowned. “There is nothing greater than that Rey.”

 

Rey scoffed for a moment, turning away, but the General grabbed her hand. Looking her in the eye.

 

“I mean it.” She said, voice full of concern. “My _son_. What did he do to you?”

 

Rey swallowed. Her mouth dry. “Nothing. Well, I guess he did kidnap me. But nothing _terrible_. Just kept trying to sway me to the dark side.”

 

“Well, you _are_ still here.” She smiled. “So I guess he failed.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But you’re not happy Rey. I see it. You’re not the same as you were. What is it. What ails you?”

 

Rey took a deep breath.

 

“—Ren and I. We… we were connected somehow. Through the Force. We still _are_.”

 

The General's eyes widened slightly. But she nodded. Rey continued.

 

“I feel him sometimes. Inside me. I still feel them, his thoughts. His anger. Sometimes I see him. Right in front of me, plain as day. Snoke said that he forged the bond between us, between our minds but Snoke is dead. I guess he was lying…” Rey trailed off.

 

Leia’s fingers curled around her hand. “It isn't a sin to see him. Or to think about him. He is more than just your enemy Rey. You both share an incredibly powerful sensitivity to the Force. Him to the dark, and you to the light. You are connected whether you like it or not. But that isn't something to be ashamed of.”

 

Rey nodded. She wasn't ashamed of the Force bond. Just of her behaviour, her attraction to Ren.

 

“I can never be rid of him.” Rey whispered.

 

“That isn't a reason not to live your life. Now for my sake, _please_ try and get some sleep!”

 

Rey nodded and let Leia embrace her, leaning into her comforting warmth. Her eyes were glassy with tears as she left the room. A feeling of guilt plagued her.

 

Leia didn't know everything.  _Not yet_. Eventually though, she would have to be told.

 

She made her way to the viewing deck. Spaceships had never made her claustrophobic before, but after three months of being trapped aboard the metal confines of the Falcon Rey had begun to feel exasperated. She longed for solid ground beneath her feet. Air that didn’t taste like rust from the old filtration system. She longed for a home. She closed her eyes. At this very moment she could feel the tug of his mind from across the universe, searching for her. For connection. She resisted the invasion. He couldn’t know.

 

Rey’s hand moved to her stomach. She could feel it. A foreign body, a spark of the living force. Too young yet to move, but definitely alive, growing. And strong with the Force.

 

He was inside her now, not just her mind, but her body. She would never be rid of him. She felt sick.

 

She remembered Snoke's words as he plotted to kill her. _A shame_. He had said. _The line would be strong_.

 

He had known.

 

She looked out at the wide expanse of space from the viewing deck. Outside the remnants of a supernova. A carpet of stars. Even from behind the thick UV resistant glass, her eyes burned from their terrible light. So much beauty. So much life.

 

She thought about the medical-droid in the infirmary on the lower deck. She could end it now. No one would have to know.

 

She’d have to make a decision. _Soon_.

 

_And she knew deep inside that either way the decision would change her life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> Yep guys it’s over. Fini. Yep this angst ridden unfulfilling chapter is the end. That’s it. Now you can bitch about the ambiguous ending and the inclusion of unoriginal Rey ends up pregnant plot twist.
> 
> But wait! It’s not the end. I’M WRITING A SEQUEL. There WILL be a sequel. My brain made me do it. I'm sorry.  
> The plot will be better.
> 
> It’s going to be a more ambitious story with more characters in it, (this story is basically Kylo and Rey shouting at each other for 20 odd chapters) because I basically started writing this to alleviate my boredom and had with no actual preconception of a plot. And because TLJ hype. But I never usually finish anything anyway so uh i’ll call this a success regardless.
> 
> Anyway i’ll probably update less with this new fic but will slowly, eventually, write it. So please go subscribe to my page for more stuff. And check out my other fic and give it some love: When Maz met Chewie, AKA: A Hairy Affair - The Chewnata Fic Noone Asked For. The title basically sums up what its about. 
> 
> Anyway if you need more persuasion, the sequel to this fic will be called: Then, I Defy You (unless i come up with a better title) and will include:
> 
> Time jumps  
> Flashbacks  
> Love triangles  
> Rey starting a relationship with Poe (don't worry it's still Reylo)  
> Force Ghost Luke!  
> Rose and Rey getting drunk together and talking about sex  
> Kylo discovering he has a maid  
> Kylo breaking stuff  
> The knights of Ren?  
> Kylo and Rey arguing  
> Secrets, angst and lies  
> And an old woman talking about crystals.  
> PORGS?
> 
> All this and more in the first five-ish chapters… Get excited.
> 
> Also Kylo Ren might actually get redeemed into this fic. Kinda spoilery, I know; but that is basically how every Reylo fic ends. Unless it’s one of those super dark fics where Rey just kind of becomes accustomed to being his kinky bondage slave. Hmmm…


End file.
